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Finances are always a very sensitive subject, especially when it comes to marital matters. I remember how shocked I was once when a good friend told me that her parents have completely separate wallets and that they all spend their penny when the household bills are paid.
For example, I grew up in a community where my father was the main financier, while my mother spent her salary as she wanted, and that pattern has remained normal and expected to this day, especially if a man earns more than his partner. I myself have always hoped in my relationships to be a man who bears the burden of costs, as long as I am there as needed and if it “fattens up.” To some extent, I thought that was the case for most families in Serbia, but speaking with acquaintances I realized that it all depends on the case and that, in fact, a large number of those who economically lead separate lives since the time when basic costs are covered. bills and food.
The common wallet controversy also started in the largest women’s forum, where again I encountered so many different “methods” and attitudes, that it is clear that there is no universal rule.
Wallet in women’s hands
However, it has crystallized the fact that most women are the ones who dictate how money is spent, while the male task is to carry money home.
“In my marriage, I am the Minister of Finance, my salary is my salary and his salary is my salary. All the money is locked up and the key to the vault is with me. First the bills are paid and what is needed is bought for the child, then food and hygiene, gasoline, and what is left over is to spend as needed. For all important purchases, it is necessary to make a sustainable financial construction “, said one of the members of the forum.
For the most part, we have expectations about money “from home”, and some do not want to change the principle of parents, while others move in a different direction.
“The subject reminded me that my father always financed almost everything, my mother sometimes bought a few small things. And then at the end of the month, when he” borrows “money for the market, he receives a lesson in how he handles money ( with shared laughter) There they are, and they have maintained the same model in retirement, “recalled one member.
And from her husband – pocket money
It is not uncommon for women to be unemployed, so there is no “my-yours” room for maneuvering, but all the money comes from one pocket. However, it often happens that in such relationships, the man manages the budget entirely and simply gives his partner a monthly figure that he believes is enough to cover his needs. Unsurprisingly, there are many women who do not like this, although there are those who do not complain too much.
“I don’t work, my husband earns well, he gives me a kind of pocket money monthly of 250-300 e so I drink coffee, buy at the store if I feel like eating (not big purchases) and buy myself little things wardrobe and makeup For hairdressers, manicures, perfumes, he gives me more expensive clothes. Ipka, somehow you know exactly what is his and what is mine, and I look at that pocket money as mandatory, and if you don’t let me go less crazy – Yesterday he only had euros and I gave him 2000 to refuel and of course today he had to return it to me, and I have no idea how much it will cost ”, is the confession of a member of Ana.rs.
The experiences are different, that’s why there are marriages in which the spouses hide their expenses, just so that the other does not get angry.
“My aunt’s brother had a problem with a woman, whom I personally attended on a couple of occasions, when he wants to buy something for him, he automatically asks for something for her, in order to achieve reciprocity. Which led him to not report / buy immediately. everything he wants, but leave money and save, because he couldn’t hear her jumping into his brain. While, for example, she buys the most normal thing she wants, he does not rub it on his nose, nor does he immediately run to buy something. “said a woman on the forum.
Each for his penny
The modern age has also brought a tendency for everyone to spend their money, without interfering with their partner’s finances, which is why they are more and more supporters of the “separate wallet” philosophy.
“I am for special purses, but as far as home is concerned, there is a common budget, to set aside a certain amount of money that is for bills, food, and not for the husband to pay for everything and then the wife hits with the portfolio and shouts “this is my salary”.
It is clear that there is no correct principle, like many other things in life, and I am interested in closing the whole topic with a woman’s comment: “I wonder if the ladies who are here for separate purses would think the same if they had a salary of 500 euros, and the husband 5,000 euros, so that both set aside 400 euros for bills and food, and the rest each spends what is theirs. “
Kurir.rs / Blic Woman / Ana.rs / MM
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