“In the middle of the night, Momo Kapor, Bora Djordjevic and Minimax are sitting in Skadarlija …”

The Croatian journalist and writer Boris Dežulović recently published the novel “Fuck a Thousand Dinars”, in which he expressed his opinion on the current Serbian capital and characterized Belgrade, among other things, as a “city” and “Dubai for the poor and Jagodina for the rich “. After the public raised dust on Dezulovic’s text, he commented again on the Serbian capital, which he said “killed by Momo Kapor and Bora Djordjevic” what he called “municipal waste”. Belgrade Deputy Mayor Goran Vesić responded to Dežulović by sending him an open letter, which we are broadcasting in full:

– In the dead of night, Momo Kapor, Bora Djordjevic and Milovan Ilic Minimax are sitting in Skadarlija and plotting. It is the beginning of the nineties, Belgrade is occupied by various birds, from false countesses, diplomats, spies and adventurers, the war has just started, but the three do not think about it. They decided to commit a perfect crime. They are aware that no one will suspect them. One of the greatest Serbian writers, a fierce rock and roll hero who shared the throne with Goran Bregović and Džoni Štulić, in a pact with the famous comedian, is a much more ferocious team than Apis, Duke Tankosić and Mustafa Golubić. He was 21 at the time and didn’t know he was drawn to his game.

The heads of the secret organization, since when will the controversial power centers of Belgrade shake, and by God the world, have chosen the ideal place for initiation, but Momo Kapor still gave up on cutting his blood and drinking it. It seemed smarter to order another bottle of wine.

The “Three Hats” tavern, which housed Tin Ujevic, Gustav Krklec, Anton Gustav Matos, and a few decades later, King Juan Carlos of Spain, George W. Bush Sr., former president of the United States and director of the CIA , then Sandro Pertini and Willy Brant, sank into a dream. . But the three conspirators finally folded their arms and swore: Belgrade will stumble!

That, then, was his infernal plan. Some bohemians in the company of beautiful ladies greet them, which is not surprising, all three are registered trademarks of the Balkan metropolis, but Sarajlija Kapor, Čačanin Bora and Milovan Ilić Minimax, originally from Lipnica, do not allow any sign of affection to them. disturb. Will compare the capital of Serbia and Yugoslavia with the country!

The three men, as in some enigma in Pirandello, whisper and weave the threads of intrigue that will overshadow all previous crimes.

– Our people have taken key positions. I sent my compilation of works to Jovica Stanisic, who will soon become the director of DB, then Bora’s album “Rotten Imagination and Dirty Passions” with a dedication and the new Minimax aphorism book, so he will be too busy to deal with us. However, there is one little thing that haunts me. My friends from Zagreb told me that a young journalist appeared in Split who presents himself as a great opponent of Franjo Tudjman, although the most informed say that it was created by Tudjman himself to simulate a ray of democracy in his beautiful country – he said in a voice Momo Kapor comes down.

“What’s that guy’s name?” Bora asked.

– Boris Dežulović – Kapor replied.

– Do you really think they will discover our scam? You know my connections well, so I created Lepa Brena to save Yugoslavia for another 10 years. The Americans, the Russians and the English only remembered that when Brena wanted to go to Eurovision, and you are telling me about a kid, Tudjman’s deputy sergeant who was inserted in the media, Minimax shook his head.

– Mica is right, Momo. We’ll level Belgrade and turn it into muddy celery. We are going to play tons from Marakana to Kalemegdan, which we will turn into a brick factory, and while we estimate that our plan will be implemented for at least three decades, we will include young operatives from our organization in every game. The project has been carried out and you know very well how the rulers of Serbia will change. We keep their names in a bank vault in Switzerland and only the three of us know the code. I must remind you how I carried out the entire course of the Eighth Session, having previously written “Look at your angel’s house” and a duet with Bregović “Pediculis pubis”, to confuse public opinion. I’m still scratching myself for that song. Four years have passed since then, and next year, 1992, if we even talk about it now, Dobrica Cosic will become the president of Yugoslavia – Bora Djordjevic interrupted the conversation.

Although all three were equal in hierarchy, Bora was actually the central computer of a mystical group that, through agents abroad, connected with the Arab sheiks. The Belgrade troika’s plan coincided with the interests of the Emirate. Too rich in oil, the wise Bedouin masters realized that they had to invest their wealth abroad. It will first come to the White House through lobbyists in Congress, then buy entire neighborhoods in London’s business hub, and then Manchester City, to dominate the Premier League. Finally, he will invest a lot of money in investments in Belgrade, so that the Sava bank will change the landscape forever and create an impressive commercial-residential complex from the cemetery of boats moored along the coast, where not even the most notorious criminal clans they sank when night falls.

The events that occurred followed a design that only the three of them knew about. In December 2020, Belgrade is to become “Muddy Kasaba, Dubai for the poor or Jagodina for the rich”, so the Prince of Jagodina, Dragan Maković Palma, was also included in the game, with the exact instructions sent to him. by mail. His key role was to get a giraffe and complete the zoo in Corridor 10, to, if necessary, stop communication on the strategic Moravia-Vardar route.

Over time, I realized that I was just a screw in a great conspiracy. Momo Kapor and Minimax have passed away, and now it is much clearer to me how Nobel laureate Peter Handke started working for us. Why does Wim Wenders’ best friend and one of the best writers come to Belgrade so often? Why did the people of Belgrade become Emir Kusturica, Zdravko Colic, Goran Bregovic, what are Nikita Mikhalkov, Johnny Depp, Ralph Fays, Gerard Butler looking for here in the muddy city?

Aleksandar Vučić admitted to me once that he was recruited by Momo, Bora, and Minimax at Law School, and it became clear to me why the New York Times writes about Belgrade as one of the new capitals of world tourism, and Marina Abramović presents a performance covered by the world media as a first-class event at the renovated Museum of Contemporary Art, comparing the exhibition to New York. If you had the dilemma as to why one of the world’s greatest sculptors, Alexander Rukavishnikov, agreed to make a monument to Stefan Nemanja, that dilemma was finally removed.

And they work for our network. The ghosts of Momo Kapor and Minimax are so powerful, while Bora of Ljubljana continues to control the game, that they massively hypnotize not only the Serbian public opinion, but also Xi Jinping, Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, Emanuel Macron, Recep Tayyip Erdogan. , Viktor Orban …

But who knows how many times Boris Dežulović came to Belgrade. He published his novel with the romantic title “Fuck a thousand dinars now” and made the entire project known to the public. So, in vain, we gave the streets to Tina Ujević, Ivan Meštrović and Antun Gustav Matoš, a third-class writer from a village with a dozen houses near Split who exposed us.

What else is left for us but to ask Slovenia to extradite Bora Chorba, the murderer from Belgrade? The witness is BD, currently residing, probably in Split.

PS: It is not polite to tell you that you are stupid, Boris Dežulović, but instead of that indisputable fact that will remain our little secret, I recommend that you listen to Bora’s ballad “Stay trash until the end”. By accusing Momo Kapor, Bora Djordjevic, and Minimax of killing Belgrade, you have shown that even when you use metaphors, you don’t have a shred of honor and consideration. But even as you are, you are always welcome in our little town of two million.

I hope my letter helps you sell at least one more book, because “fuck a thousand dinars, two is better.” That is your life plan and motto. Now I will finally figure out our plan, which really exists. Listen to Bora’s ballad “Good Morning.” This is Belgrade! – Vesić concluded.