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In modern times, it often happens that superfluous Serbian customs are carried out in Orthodox cemeteries, unknown in ancient times, and as a sign of a new fashion trend.
Christian duty dictates that in prayers we remember our dead, that we pray to God for the peace of their souls, we light candles for them, we make memorials and commemorations for them, we erect monuments to them as symbols on graves, and we keep their graves in decent condition and ordered. All of this is within the framework of the church canon.
It seems that no nation has such a careless attitude towards the graves of its relatives as the Serbs. On the one hand, that negligence is absolute neglect of the graves, which includes its no marking and no maintenance.
On the other hand, in some parts of Serbia it goes to the other extreme.
Namely, Precious monuments are erected in cemeteries, chapels of new architecture, which are more like cabins where they have everything they have at home: refrigerators, televisions, beds … This is an ugly custom.
The monument should be modest with a Christian symbol in the shape of a cross.
This is what the soul is and where it is: When it leaves us, it goes to this place!
It is much more important to remember our dead in prayers, a do good works for the rest of their souls by helping the poor, contributing to churches, hospitals, orphanages and other humanitarian institutions.
Regarding the attitude of the church around the funeral and burial of the deceased, for the church, the most important are the grain, the wine and the very act of singing. Opelo is a prayer in which the priest prays for the peace of the soul of the deceased and for the forgiveness of the sins he committed as a man in life. The memories of the house to the cemetery are also important, because the memory is also a prayer.
However, in some parts of Serbia, the funeral is associated with numerous superfluous and harmful customs, which are often even in contradiction with the teachings of the church. It is difficult for people to change such customs, especially if they have been around for centuries. However, in recent times new customs are being introduced, which can be easily changed.
One of them is and buy funeral wreaths and then give various gifts to everyone who attends the funeral. Both require large expenses, and it is completely superfluous. It would be much better to give the money for the purchase of wreaths to the host or that house, which would be useful to cover the expenses of the funeral.
Too, large and abundant preparation of food and drink for funerals have become a custom, which is why it happens that when guests eat and drink, the funeral became a party, and drunk participants begin to behave in inappropriate and inappropriate ways. That is inadmissible sin against the deceased and his relatives.
Death does not have to break the bond between two people: this is how to recognize the signals that the dead are sending you!
All serious and devoted people of the Serbian people should fight against such phenomena. We will also mention the custom in some parts of Serbia, when people come from the cemetery, to wait in the courtyard where everyone washes their hands, takes coal from the embers, then throws it in their hands and passes it over them. This was maintained from the time when infectious diseases were rampant in Serbia, and thus disinfection was carried out on the orders of civil authorities. It is not mandatory to do that today. It is only good to prepare water and a towel if there is no fountain or bathroom for people to wash their hands, which is the basis of hygiene.
Numerous customs are also related to the forty-day memorial service, among which is massacre of the “soul lock”. This does not belong to the church or religious customs. Under these customs, only as an objective of the slaughter can it be brought and justified to feed the poor, as a good deed for the rest of the soul of the deceased. Everything else is pure pagan custom, foreign to the church, related to sacrifice.
After six months or a year, prayers or memorial services can also be held for the dead. Then, as on the fortieth day, the wheat is prepared, which is consecrated by the priest, goes out to the cemetery, candles are lit and the grave is burned.
Parastos can be celebrated more frequently, and festivals are not church customs on these occasions either.
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