“He sobbed and asked about his friends”: the happy ending to the birthday party of a child with autism in the midst of the pandemic

The fifth anniversary was intensely awaited by little Joaquim. Daily, the boy repeatedly discussed the issue with his mother.

“A month before, I knew I was close and every day I asked hundreds of questions about what it would be like,” reports official Cindy Renata Camargo, 33. The family lives in Foz de Iguazú (PR).

For the past two years, the boy’s birthday parties have been held at the school where he studies. As a result, Joaquim believed that his classmates would also participate in this year’s celebration.

“I always asked if friends would come,” says the mother. She reports that the boy’s friendship with his classmates is considered an achievement. “He has a good relationship with his classmates. In the previous school, my son was excluded. But in this one, despite the difficulties, he has several friends.”

The good relationship with classmates is considered a victory for Joaquim’s mother because the boy has an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), popularly known as Autism. It is a complex disorder of brain development, which has, among its main characteristics, difficulties in socialization and communication.

According to a study by American scientists, it is estimated that about one in 59 children has some characteristic of ASD.

Autism manifests on different levels. Joaquim has a slight degree of tea. Has difficulty understanding and socializing. On the other hand, it is easy to read, write and use languages. “He learned to speak English, Portuguese and Spanish on his own. At the age of five, he already knows how to read and write,” the mother is proud.

Cindy also has autism. “I was diagnosed at eight years old. My title is considered very light,” he explains. She says the fact that she also had the disorder meant that at first she didn’t notice her son’s main signs. “One of the characteristics of autism is not being able to look eye to eye. As I am also autistic, I have the same difficulty and it took me a long time to notice this sign of my son, who has already been observed by other people,” he reports.

He was diagnosed with the disorder at the age of two years. Like many children with autism, it took time to learn to walk and talk. “Everything took longer to develop. But little by little, it evolved,” the mother tells BBC News Brazil.

Waiting for the party

Since mid-March, Joaquim’s family has been in social isolation due to the new coronavirus pandemic. The measure of staying home and going out only for essential activities is considered essential by specialists around the world to prevent the spread of the virus.

After the mother explained the situation the world is in, the child demonstrated understanding of pandemic care. He used to say that now everything is without “hug, kiss or handshake”. The boy also says that it is dangerous to go outside. “He always preferred to stay home, so this is not a problem,” says Cindy.

On his birthday, however, he expected the company of his school friends and his paternal grandfather, one of the relatives with whom he has the most connection. “He thought everyone would come to the party,” says Cindy.

Every day, he asked numerous questions about the celebration. The boy asked questions about the taste of the cake, the decoration of the party and if there would be brigadeiros and balloons.

“Hearing all these questions, over and over again, every five to ten minutes, sometimes bothered me. Sometimes I lost patience and answered more forcefully. He cried and I felt like the biggest monster in the world. So I swallowed my own frustrations and pain and continued to answer his questions calmly, every five or 10 minutes, with a smile on his face, “reports the public servant.

The mother says she repeatedly explained to the boy that his school friends and grandfather couldn’t go because of the coronavirus. “I tried to explain it very delicately, more than usual, because saying that was also hurting me. But the delicacy was not enough and she cried for it. I was inconsolable and it saddened me,” reports Cindy.

Psychiatrist Rosa Magaly de Morais, a physician with the Autism Spectrum Disorder Program at the Psychiatric Institute of the Hospital das Clínicas in São Paulo, points out that happiness due to a birthday party is also common in many children with autism.

“Unfortunately, many people think that people with autism are not very affective, they do not like affection and they feel uncomfortable with touch. It is not true. It is necessary to respect the individuality of each one. But the social life and the feeling of being accepted is very nice, “says the expert.

“The school inclusion process does not only go through pedagogical mediation. Autism does not invalidate the problems common to all children, such as receiving guests, winning gifts and being the focus of the class for a day. This can be common independently of any diagnosis, “adds Morais.

birthday

Joaquim turned age on Friday (8). The mother and father arranged the living room with Paw Patrol decorations and a cake with the same theme. While the parents organized the party, the boy ran with his little brother and stayed in the room. “He said he wanted a surprise party,” says Cindy.

When the parents completed the decoration, they called the children. “Joaquim was excited and very happy with the party,” says his mother. His teachers recorded videos congratulating the boy. “I asked them to send me something, because I know he would be happy,” says the mother.

Days before the celebration, Cindy had also asked her son’s classmates to record videos for his birthday. “None of the colleagues’ parents sent a video. But I understand, we are in a very different period of our lives and everything is very busy. The parents probably didn’t have time to record their children,” says Cindy.

“But I confess it was difficult for me to deal with that. Several times, he asked about his classmates. I told him they would still make videos for him and I started to distract him. I have been preparing for the day when Joaquim will be excluded.” forgotten, but I’m not ready for that yet, “he laments.

The boy, according to his mother, slept crying after the birthday party. “He sobbed and spoke the names of some of his friends,” says Cindy. She reveals that she spent the night awake, watching her son sob.

The next day, however, the boy woke up happy. The mother says that he was jumping and happy with the date that would come on Sunday: Mother’s Day. “He spent the whole day wondering what I was expecting on Mother’s Day, if I wanted a gift or help with spaghetti,” reports Cindy.

On Sunday (10), Joaquim gave Cindy a Happy Mother’s Day every two or three minutes, had breakfast in bed, and decided to help her out for lunch.

The report on Facebook

On Monday (11), Joaquim asked his mother about his next birthday. “In a year, my son,” she replied. The boy also asked if his friends from school would attend the next celebration. “This question saddened me because I saw that it was not something I would soon forget,” he says.

Cindy then posted a report on her son’s birthday on Facebook. The post went viral. In less than 24 hours there were more than 50 thousand reactions and more than 23 thousand actions. “I did not expect it to have such an impact,” confesses the mother.

Along with the repercussions, Joaquim received hundreds of congratulatory videos from people across the country. “I was very surprised. My son was very happy with this. At first, I showed him about 15 videos. But I noticed that he was getting very happy and hectic, so I decided to show others later, so he wouldn’t have a crisis” . he comments.

The boy comments that the birthday was very nice, as well as the messages he received. “There was cake at my party and Patrulha Canina,” says the boy, soon speaking of the report.

In the late afternoon of Tuesday (12), a neighbor left a gift at Joaquim’s door. “She saw the post and wanted to give it to him. She was very happy,” says Cindy. For the mother, the child’s entire wait for his birthday ended with a happy ending. “I am very grateful. The people were wonderful with my son. It is very good to know that there is still a lot of love in this country,” she says.

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