DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my wife and I decided together that she would work and that she would raise the children. Well, times and the economy have changed. We need a second income.
Even a part-time retail job would help tremendously right now. I have made countless sacrifices to keep our home and lifestyle afloat. All the time she refuses to pursue anything except what she believes to be “her purpose” or what her “best self” represents.
What about me? My health? Our house? Our children and their education? How about a job that might not be crazy about a decent salary so we can save a little and not have to worry about how much our prescription drugs cost?
My resentment is growing. I work 60 hours a week and quit a career that I loved. Am I asking too much?
RESIDENTS IN THE MIDDLE WEST
DEAR RESIDENT: No, you are not asking too much. Times have really changed, and your wife needs to wake up and accept that her dream job may be postponed due to circumstances beyond her (and his) control.
Successful marriages are partnerships, and because being the only wage earner has become so stressful that you would write to me about it, it’s time for your wife to stick her head out of the clouds and face reality. If a second income will take some of the stress off, she needs to step forward for you and the children.
DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter-in-law that I love and would never intentionally hurt in any way.
I recently had contact with my son’s ex-girlfriend, “Kayley.” She had seen me in church with them, contacted me and came to visit us at our house.
She and my son were very young when they were leaving (high school) and they hadn’t spoken in years. I kept in touch with her over the years because I always thought about her a lot. They both married each other and created their own lives.
Our son and his wife live next to us and were out of town the day Kayley stopped, but returned before leaving. My son bit me and now my daughter-in-law does not speak to me. I tried to talk to her and apologized if I had a chance, but she texted me saying she had crossed a line and how inconsiderate it was for Kayley to pass. She said it made her feel small and uncomfortable (they only saw her from a distance and didn’t even know who she was at first).
Was I wrong to be in contact with my son’s high school ex-girlfriend? Was I wrong to invite her in? What is the best way to handle this because I want to keep peace in our family?
MONSTER IN LAW IN TEXAS
DEAR THOUSAND: You were right to keep in touch with someone you liked. And you should be free to entertain whoever you want in your home. I am very sorry that your daughter-in-law reacted like her. It shows how insecure she is.
Because you want to keep peace in the family, refrain from having Kayley and see her somewhere else.
And if she asks you why, explain that it made your daughter-in-law uncomfortable.
DEAR READERS: Have a very happy and healthy Fourth of July. And please, stay safe!
LOVE ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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