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Andy Cole (48) was one of the defense defenders in the 1990s. Only Wayne Rooney and Alan Shearer have scored more goals than Cole in the Premier League.
After scoring a goal to reserve in Newcastle, he went to Manchester United, where he continued to rage in front of goal.
Five Premier League titles and a Champions League trophy were disappointing when he resigned.
But after his career, Cole has been unlucky.
It all started when his kidneys failed in 2014. He was diagnosed with focal segmental glomerulosclerosis. It occurs when scarring inhibits the kidney’s ability to filter blood.
In 2015, he became extremely ill when he was in Vietnam on a mission as Manchester United’s ambassador. He tried to hide it, but eventually contacted a doctor. Then it was shown that he had reduced his kidney function
seven percent of what is normal capacity.
When nephew Alexander Palmer donated one of his kidneys in April 2017, it seemed like the nightmare was over.
The beginning of the nightmare.
But it was not like that. Now the pain passed from the stomach to the thoughts.
This was the beginning of a mental hell for the former great scorer. In 2018, he made a deal with himself and publicly disclosed that he was mentally ill, while apologizing to everyone for how he had behaved in recent years.
He referred to some days as torture and was open to thinking that he had committed suicide.
– I know I can’t beat bad thoughts.
The corona virus has forced Cole to remain isolated for the last period as he is at risk due to his kidneys. Now it’s opening again for The Guardian.
– There are many times that I want to give up. Not just life, but everything. It gets very difficult. Last Wednesday I was really struggling. It came suddenly and I had to spend the day in bed. I admitted defeat and accepted that the day would not come
to be mine In the past, I wanted to fight, but I know I can’t beat bad thoughts, Cole says.
– The past five years have been hell, says the 48-year-old man.
He works as an attack coach for Southend United, where former Arsenal striker Sol Campbell is the manager. But after the coronavirus invaded England, she spent her days at her London home.
– It’s a roller coaster. But I keep fighting as hard as I can. You should try to feel optimistic for the future. But when I’m alone, I have a lot of time to think and I realize that it is my biggest challenge.
Cole says.
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