– I was scared for myself – NRK Sport – Sports news, results and broadcast schedule

At 17, she was eliminated from the national team for the World Cup. It was a home championship and the young Leganger already started in the first match.

– He did not have the objective of being the best in the world or occupying the position of first goalkeeper of the Norwegian team. I wasn’t prepared for that, Leganger tells NRK.

It’s been a few years since 1993, but he still thinks it’s special to think about it. At that time, there was a lot to take in for a 17-year-old.

“I floated into a fantastic goalkeeping game, but ambitions didn’t really matter,” laughs the 45-year-old.

Leganger is in the new season of The Masters Champion and in that sense, she is open about the mental ailments that forced her to retire in her 20s.

• “The Master of Masters” premieres on January 1 at 20.25 on NRK1 and on NRK TV. Before then, you can hear Leganger on the “Master Portrait” program:

  
  

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The challenges came after the World Cup

Leganger outpointed two established goalkeepers in Anette Skotvold and Hege Frøseth when she was chosen as the first goalkeeper in the World Cup. And it wasn’t just a pleasant experience.

Because Leganger just has a bad conscience.

– Later in his career, it would have been a fantastic feeling to knock out one or two very good goalkeepers. But at the time … It just shows that he wasn’t quite ready for what it meant.

The championship was still a fantastic ride, says Leganger. When he waited for the place and got good feedback after the first few matches, he could only enjoy the rest.

She played very well throughout the championship and was named the best goalkeeper and the best player in the World Cup.

At this point, he had no idea what the other side of the coin was going to be.

– The challenge was when I came home, Leganger begins.

Destroyed by itself

Because as a new handball star, he came with more than just trophies. Queries and inquiries accumulated.

– I became a kind of business idea. I became very attractive to sponsors and received a lot of non-sports inquiries, he says.

But this pressure took a lot from Leganger, who already had insane pressure physically. He played for both the youth national team and the non-national team and was mainly on the field for 60 minutes in the club team.

The 45-year-old says she almost without criticism said yes to all the requests, and that it was ruined for her. At the same time, she points out that it probably had something to do with the fact that she was very shy and was afraid of disappointing people.

– I can’t say there was one thing that did it too much, but it was the sum of the entire package.

No longer an option

Because in the end it became too much for the young handball star.

– It was in a way a little scandal to the outside world, because nobody understood it since I performed at the top only a few days before, says Leganger.

At age 20, Cecilie Leganger resigned as a handball player.

– There was absolutely no option. It’s like stretching the elastic, right? You stretch and stretch and try to finish, and suddenly the wall appears. Then there is nothing more to give. It was completely obvious to me.

This is how Leganger describes the feeling he had at that time in 1996.

There and then she thought that she had ended up as a handball player forever and that she would never set foot in a handball hall again.

From immediate relief to heavy days

The immediate feeling after he quit was one of relief. She describes it as a kind of feeling of freedom. But there was a reason why his handball career came to a halt.

After that day, the hard work began. That’s when it got heavy, he says.

– The relief was for the decision, but living in the decision was very, very heavy.

Because with the news came press coverage. After all, she was one of the best handball players in the country.

– I was very depressed and there were a lot of posts on the cover that were very bad nature and didn’t exactly help depression to put it that way. When I think back, it was a very unfortunate situation, he continues.

The day he left was the opening shot of a dark year for the young handball star.

– You never know when you have dark thoughts.

After this, Leganger began to isolate himself from the outside world. He couldn’t bear to listen to people speculate and think about why he ended his career. Because nobody understood why. He developed social anxiety and was mostly at home.

Leganger explains that there was silence from several fronts that had previously been on the sidelines and cheered when everything went well.

At one point, she feared for herself.

– I was very scared of myself. There are many ways to die, it begins.

– It is very important for me to emphasize. I had no plans that I didn’t want to live with, but it was an absolute danger to me in the way that you never know when you have dark thoughts.

He goes on to say that the latter is just speculation, but that at one point it was very dark and heavy. The people close to her were also very scared.

I had never returned without help

This story is not unique in a sports context, according to Peder Lysholm Daviknes. He is a mental coach and holds a master’s degree in sports psychology from the University of Greenwich.

– We have several cases of the same in the history of Norwegian and international sport, he says.

Daviknes talks about the importance of asking questions and being curious about the people around you, without waiting for them to get in touch.

– As professionals and people, we are different and react differently to success and what comes with care.

Fortunately for young handball player Leganger, someone saw her. They were Oddvar Bjørnestad and Odd Egil Eiseth. Two people from the handball community who proved to be very important to the recently retired young handball player.

-I’m absolutely sure that I would never have returned to handball if it had not been for the fact that I had these two friends who cared so much about me, Leganger says clearly.

Too slowly but surely, they brought her back to the sport.

And a year after thinking that she would never set foot in a handball hall again, Cecilie Leganger was back in handball goal.