The psychologist named one of the most important human needs: If you are not satisfied, do not expect anything good

Parental support is important for a child to socialize

During the conference, child and adolescent psychologist, educator and speaker Asta Blandė paid great attention to discussing the important details that create an open, respectful and trust-based relationship between a child and an adult, according to the press release . A. Blandė emphasized that the family plays a fundamental role in shaping the child’s personality; she, more than the educational institution, is the pillar, the support and the space for a positive personal change.

According to the psychologist, the child comes to school to build a relationship: with his classmates, teachers, parents, classmates, at the same time as he knows himself and creates his own image of personality. In any relationship building, and especially with peers, parental support, wise support, exchange of experiences is necessary, because even in the environment of mature people, it is not easy to find your place in a group. Being noticed, knowing that you are accepted by a certain environment is one of the most important human needs. If this need is not satisfied, the child begins to seek attention, revenge, show strength, helplessness in the wrong way.

A. Blandė emphasized that the responsibility in the relationship with the child belongs to the adult.

“It should be easier for an adult who is already an emotionally mature personality to take responsibility for maintaining, restoring, or adjusting a relationship. Of course, sometimes the physical and emotional maturity of an adult is far removed. So you want to show your child or adolescent your principles, wait for an apology, or get subtle revenge for their sharpness, ”said A. Blandė.

As the child grows, he searches for himself

According to the psychologist, a child from an early age looks for an adult model to whom he wants to align himself, to whom he listens more and whom he notices more clearly. An adult shows a child by example what she can become.

“It is important for a child to feel that in a relationship with an adult he is accepted as he is at that moment: by his nature, by his attitudes towards the environment, by certain behaviors, by opportunities discovered and not yet discovered, by his strengths and weaknesses. However, the fact that a child or adolescent is accepted is not a message that they should remain that way at all times, ”said A. Blandė, adding that the observed vulnerable areas can be filled with positive details, new behavioral experiments or challenges that a growing person overcomes. gains value and strengthens.

According to the psychologist, both a child and an adult have the right to err, not to know how to change and to change in learning and communication: a person is not and does not have to be perfect. Together with a powerful and almost perfect person, the boy is insecure, shy and terrifying. That is why it is important for parents and teachers to discuss mistakes, highlight lessons learned and the desire to move on. In this way, the child has the opportunity to experience success not by making compromises, but by wisely creating opportunities for it.

Conscious parenting

At the end of the lecture, A. Blandė, speaking about the difficult emotional experiences of the child, said that when a child is obviously unwell, in a bad mood, unhappy, the adult’s task is to speak, act or simply keep quiet to alleviate the situation . Motivational phrases like “can I stay close”, “tell me what happened”, “what do you think about it” would help the conversation. In this way, the child often opens up and feels that he has found a solution in a difficult situation.

Child rights professionals are often faced with parents who are in a rush to give dysfunctional advice simply because they themselves lack the knowledge and skills to help the child cope with emotional difficulties. For this reason, parents are often offered parenting electives that help deepen their understanding of growing offspring and recognize their own emotional needs and those of the child.