The mother who chose the cup over the children is open: I was talking to the man, to the toilets, but I realized that I was to blame.

Only thanks to a joint effort with child rights advocates, a mobile team, addiction specialists, Svetlana enjoys a peaceful life for her children who have returned home. Liudas Vincentas Sinkevičius, an addiction specialist working in the Adoption and Protection of Children’s Rights Service, advises on how to identify and combat the risk of addiction.

The children were taken for drunkenness and violence

Svetlana Kliukovskaya raises three children together with her husband Yaroslav. Svetlana’s eldest daughter is already an adult who has gone abroad, but she is very supportive of her mother in her experiences and concerns.

“I lived in Vilnius, but after marrying my husband, we decided to sell an apartment in Vilnius and buy my own house in Šalčininkai. My mother also moved to Šalčininkai with us. We soon realized that we would like to live apart from our mother, we moved into a rented apartment and our mother left home, ”says Svetlana.

Šalčininkai is a small town, everyone knows each other, not only looks at everything, but also complains: “And we still haven’t had much luck with our neighbors. They got drunk and kept complaining, lying, calling the police. I got into a very unpleasant situation last summer. We were raising a young son, I was just waiting for the next baby, we decided to go to a farm with a child and have a nice evening. I had a couple of cocktails that night. I know it sounds bad, but then it was. “

The mother of the friend who visited Svetlana called the police during the party. The agents who arrived saw that she was also accompanied by her one-year-old son, so they called the guards of the Children’s Rights Division. “Then nothing bad happened, case management began, they offered us services, the son quickly returned home, life flowed his way,” recalls the woman.

Another incident occurred in the fall, this time the three children were taken away. “We celebrate the settlements after the renovation of the apartment. When the guests parted, my husband and I argued and he called the police in the heat of the conflict. Officials reported that domestic violence was taking place against young children. Police officers, specialists in children’s rights, came and took the children from us: my twelve-year-old daughter and the two children: one and a half years and three months. The children did not return home until the beginning of February, when we met all the conditions and accepted the assistance that was provided to us. The children, meanwhile, were cared for by temporary guardians, ”Svetalana says with regret for the kidnapped children and her own actions.

The kidnapping of the children was a great shock

Svetlana and her husband had a hard time taking the children away. At first, the woman was very angry with her husband for calling the police and reporting the violence: “She did it herself with her own hands that she took the children from us. I did not speak to him for a long time, but little by little we reconciled. Still, the time without children allowed us to understand each other better, to speak, to discover. We felt that we had rediscovered ourselves, that we had calmed down. The kidnapping of children has become such an impact that we have reviewed many things in life. “

The couple started working without holidays, stopped drinking alcohol, accepted the help of specialists from the Mobile Team of Defenders of Children’s Rights, and at the same time looked for the reasons for the situation and how to get out of it.

The monastery changed women beyond recognition

Child rights activists referred Svetlana to a sobriety teacher, an addiction counselor, and the director of a domestic violence intervention program. “I learned a lot from him, I understood where he was wrong, we have been communicating until now. My husband and I also decided to code ”, the woman is happy with the decision.

The mobile child protection team suggested that the couple go to the Congregation of the Sisters of the Missionaries of God for help for addicted people, where they have gone through a twelve-step program. “I spent two weeks there, only to a certain extent that I could afford not to lose my job. However, the changes were obvious, even my spouse noticed that I had returned from the monastery changed. I got rid of the anger, the accusations and I felt that little little by little I was winning the fight for my children ”, says Svetlana about the changes.

You need to answer yourself the question, which is more important: a cup or children

The children were not at home for Svetlana and Yaroslav for three and a half months, but that experience changed family life. A woman who was never separated from her children had to struggle to find the right solution and get the children back.

Now that the family is together again, Svetlana can already advise other families in a similar situation. “It just came to our knowledge then. If I hadn’t consumed alcohol, no one would have taken my children. I went through a difficult path until I got the children back, but I have no regrets at all because I discovered a lot, learned a lot, met good people. . For those who are going through a situation similar to ours, I advise you to believe in yourself and do not give up. Remember that children love you and are waiting for you to return home. We stumble, but with the help of professionals we can Get up. Answer the question, which is more important: a glass of alcohol or children, and everything will be clear. “

It is important to accept help

Often times, an addicted person does not recognize their problem, makes excuses why they get dizzy so often, hides the problem under imaginary reasons, fatigue or a need to relax. Unfortunately, the consequences of addiction can harm the most precious people, children, ruin lives.

“The addiction syndrome does not develop overnight, so attention should be paid to the initial symptoms, which are often not similar to the obvious disorders we know of and are associated with innocent-looking behavior changes, such as increasing opportunities to drink, increasingly expected and sought after. After an intoxication due to alcohol consumption, a person consumes more and more alcohol at the same time “, says Liudas Vincentas Sinkevičius, an addiction specialist who works in the Service of Adoption and Protection of the Rights of the Child.

Usually, according to the specialist, losses are helped with the help of specialists, but the latter are interpreted on a very individual basis, so there are several stories of what becomes a key loss for a person to receive treatment: “In Svetlana’s case, they were children taken from the family. Lack of public awareness and inability to realize that addiction is a complex mental disorder that is treated in appropriate settings and not at home, in clubs, or in other self-taught groups is a major obstacle to turning to professionals.

For each family with addiction syndrome, V. Sinkevičius advises receiving specialized help and starting treatment as soon as possible, because otherwise not only the addict, but also all family members will have long-term consequences.

“Existing addiction prevention focuses on the main risk factors that have the greatest impact on the formation of the addiction syndrome. One could distinguish between genetics, the social environment, and biology: the evolving brain system. Therefore, since we can only have a real impact on creating the right social environment, most prevention should be based on helping families strengthen them, develop the right skills or refer them to treatment ”, says the specialist in addictions.