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Marius Serchenka, the head of the Anapilis funeral home, says that he notices that people still carry money in envelopes.
“We have donation boxes, but they are rarely used. People want to clearly show that they are sacrificing. They say they put everything they would have spent in a flower basket,” says M. Serčenka.
Mantas Gicevičius, the head of other “Ramybė” funeral homes, says he also realizes that the envelopes are not going to disappear from the funeral.
“We recommend that our customers buy fewer flowers, but put more in the donation box,” says M. Gicevičius.
The amounts in the envelopes depend on the situation
Aldona from Vilnius says that she always helps the relatives of the deceased, but that she has not brought money to the funeral.
“We usually organize family support in another way, but I think that if an acquaintance dies, we should give him an envelope with at least 50 euros, depending on the circumstances and possibilities, more can be added,” says Aldona.
Kristijonas from Klaipėda says she thinks about the amount based on the situation of the deceased’s family.
“I know from personal experience that there are unforeseen costs for a funeral. And if the family of the deceased has little money after the funeral, that is not at all. The last time I put 100 euros on a funeral card. I would like to say that if at least half of the funeral participants were later discarded, the family of the deceased would really have enough money for at least the funeral, or maybe a few more to live after them, ”thinks Kristijonas.
Danutė from Šiauliai says that he will not spend money on an envelope: he will donate at least one hundred euros to the family of the deceased.
“We are retired, so most of our retired friends die. Pensions are small, so we put at least 100 euros in an envelope for families. If we bury someone who lived even poorer, we put even more,” he shares Danutė.
Etiquette Expert: Donation is not mandatory
Etiquette expert Armin Lydeka says it is not mandatory to donate money to the relatives of the deceased at the funeral.
“It’s more like an aid to funeral organizers. Even a few euros is a good sacrifice, so it doesn’t really matter how much you donate,” says A. Lydeka.
The expert points out that armory rooms often have victim boxes in which money can be thrown anonymously. If there is no such box in the armory, the victim must be handed over to the relatives of the deceased.
“The relatives of the deceased tend to sit closer to him, that is, in the front row. They must be sacrificed. Come closer, hug, shake hands or kiss and say some words of sympathy “, says the expert in etiquette.
Flowers can become a burden
M. Gicevičius, the manager of the “Ramybė” funeral home, says he notices a change in trend: fewer flowers are brought to the funeral.
“Many people care how to transport these flowers, how to take care that they do not wilt, people already understand and carry less. As I said, it is better to put that money in an envelope ”, says M. Gicevičius.
Serchenko, director of the Anapilis Funeral Home, says he has noticed similar changes.
“People bring fewer flowers because they don’t want to be a burden to their loved ones. They often buy a crown for their family and everything,” says M. Serčenka.
Etiquette expert A. Pike is pleased with this changing way of thinking about flowers.
“We always want to bring as many flowers and wreaths as possible, but it is not wise to do so. You should buy a flower or two,” says A. Lydeka.
According to him, too many flowers can really become a burden. “In addition to all the concerns, we formed another concern: organizing the withdrawal of flowers”, shares the expert.
Dress better in these colors
Etiquette expert A. Pike says clothing is no less important to consider. “You must dress in black, white or purple. These colors are also perfect for decoration ”, says the expert.
The corpses, according to the expert, must depend on the relationship with the deceased. “You should stay at least 15-20 minutes. If the deceased was nearby, it is possible to stay an hour or two,” says A. Lydeka.
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