Psychiatrists on children’s needs, depression, suicidal thoughts and signs ignored by parents | Lifetime



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In a remote conversation organized by VUL Santara Clinics “I want my child to be happy”, Jurgita Radzevičienė, director of the Department of Child Psychiatry at the Center for Child Development, doctor and child psychiatrist Has good appropriate relationships with peers, both friends and angry and knows how to reconcile, according to his abilities, studies well in school, has various interests, lives in a safe, loving and supportive family.

Quarantine is the boundary between better communication and inevitable friction

However, some unforeseen circumstances, such as the introduction of quarantine due to a coronavirus pandemic, can alter the normal rhythm of life and affect the emotional state of children.

“It was a challenge not only for the child, but for the whole family, as we faced uncertainty and tension. On the one hand, it seemed that the child would spend more time at home with the family, there would be more communication, but in families there is friction, because in the same small space they are all together every day, ”said the Child Crisis Intervention Center and Adolescent. psychiatrist Jolanta Trinkūnienė.

J.Radzevičienė also added: families had to change the rhythm of life, often the family lost a source of income, and work and learning at home created many challenges, especially for younger children, decreased activity physical and live communication opportunities the child needs.

Although the emotional state of children and adolescents declined at the beginning of their quarantine, specialists were in no rush to rejoice. “After a while, we realized that due to confusion, adjusting to new life circumstances, people were staying home and just no longer looking for help,” said J. Trinkūnienė.

Experts believe that this period of isolation was a good opportunity for the family to spend more time together. For some families, this was a great discovery, but the level of anxiety and aggression increased in some families, and the closure of their spaces did not result in violence in such families.

Hyperactivity is not limited to physical activity

When we see a child who is not restless in the place, we often apply the label of hyperactivity: the psychiatrist J. Radzevičienė explains that mobility, manifested by restlessness in the place, inability to sit or walk during lessons, is only a part of the disorders, more difficult in the area of ​​concentration and maintenance.

“The disease is diagnosed only if there are three components: the child is agile, has difficulty concentrating and maintaining attention, and has greater impulsivity. It is difficult for these children to plan their activities, so here parents can help, set an agenda, break the activities into smaller steps and ask for the actions to be completed, as these children often start work but do not finish it. because they are bored, ”he says. He adds that parents can create an incentive system for good behavior, but it is worth remembering that the greatest reward is not physical gifts, but parental attention.

Hyperactivity is usually a lifelong disease that is treated with medication when no other means helps. Mobility decreases with age, but adults who still have the disease may be distracted or impulsive.

Children can be depressed and have suicidal thoughts.

Specialists say that depression is not just a disease of adults, it is diagnosed in both children and adolescents, and there are cases of depression in babies. Parents need to pay attention if the child was active enough, studied well, attended classes, but suddenly became isolated, had communication problems, no longer attended classes, had poor academic performance or even started to miss classes, had sleep disorders.

According to the interlocutors, depression in young children manifests itself through bodily symptoms: headaches or abdominal pain, the child becomes silent and closed or, conversely, becomes angry and irritated. “Parents often think that there is a temporary lack of humor here, but it is worth talking to the child about what is happening inside him. If parents cannot find out, a psychologist should be consulted. One should not have preconceptions and underestimate the problems of the child and properly understand the signals he sends, ”says J. Trinkūnienė.

Experts also point out that parents, thinking that certain behaviors are due to cuddling or early adolescence, begin to punish her, which can make the situation worse. “A child should not be punished for how he feels. After all, if you get pneumonia or start coughing, we don’t punish you, ”says J. Radzevičienė.

Child and adolescent psychiatrists also disprove the gay myth that children do not commit suicide. “Even the same untreated depression can lead to suicide, bullying or divorce of parents at school, a child can resort to such radical measures to bring them closer, thus solving the problems of adults”, says J. Trinkūnienė.

123RF.com nuotr./Ligoninėje

123RF.com nuotr./Ligoninėje

According to the specialist, when we speak with children more frequently and hear such thoughts, we must understand that their purpose is not to commit suicide, it is a cry for help. Children sometimes speak figuratively about thoughts of ending life, for example saying that they will “fly like a butterfly”, and parents ignore those words or even try to make fun of them.

“If a child mentions that he will leave, will not return or says that life has become uncomfortable, he does not want anything and would not have been born at all, all these signs show that something bad is happening in his life, and it is necessary to know exactly what it’s happening. When a child goes through a crisis, it affects the whole family, “says psychiatrist J. Radzevičienė.

Respondents say there is no need to be afraid to speak up and ask children directly about their possible suicide intent. “Do not be afraid to ask: if the parents are afraid, the child feels insecurity very well, they will become even more distant and in that case it will be even more difficult to speak openly. Questions about whether a child is thinking about suicide will certainly not encourage them to commit suicide if they have not had those thoughts before, and we will give those with those thoughts a chance to talk about it. “

Respondents say there is no need to be afraid to speak up and ask children directly about their possible suicide intent.

According to them, self-harm and suicidal thoughts arise after painful events for a child or adolescent: the betrayal of a friend or the lack of personal relationship. If the parents react to these problems lightly, for example, saying that “there will still be those friends and boys or girls” and the child so hurt may feel completely misunderstood and may decide to leave life.

Child attachment and manipulation

Psychiatrists explain that the inherent attachment to children is felt by a person or people who not only meet physiological needs, such as feeding them or providing physical protection and comfort, but can also provide an emotional connection: this is the person to whom the child will come back when you need it. comfort.

Children who are not securely attached may face communication and behavior problems in the future. As attachment forms in the first year of life, they notice a problem when newborns grow up in foster care.

“It is very bad when newborns grow up in a nursing home because an attachment requires one or two people to constantly take care of the needs of that child. When employees are constantly changing, a child cannot form a secure bond, no matter how benevolent and excellent the employees of care institutions are, ”explained J. Radzevičienė.

Specialists believe that a child should grow up in a safe environment, but should not be inseparable from the parents; Sometimes too much childcare can lead to negative consequences, you are afraid of being separated from loved ones even for a few days, you will not trust yourself and your own strength.

Photo by Vida Press / Parents yell at child

Photo by Vida Press / Parents yell at child

When talking about the manipulation of children and adolescents by their parents to fulfill their wishes, the interlocutors agree: “Parents do not have to be perfect, they must be good to their child and love him.” what is possible and what is not.

Experts emphasize that promoting parental unity does not mean that a couple should not react to the negative actions of another person against the child, such as psychological or physical violence. “How does that little man feel if, for example, his father mistreats him and his mother pretends not to see him? You feel insecure and unable to defend yourself, even in the immediate environment; both parents betray him ”, say the psychiatrists.

If there is consistency and clarity in the family about possible and impossible actions or requests, after the child has checked several times if something is really not allowed and has received a unified answer, no further questions will arise. According to J.Radzevičiencohol, parents must understand the difference between wants and needs and learn to accept the frustration or sadness of a child when she does not receive something, because she will not be able to satisfy all her growing desires with age. “We encourage the establishment of limits, in this way they will not harm the child, but they will help him,” he says.



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