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Rest – walk
Last Friday, one of his challenges awaited S. Urbonas: a man walked from Vilnius to Visaginas. Therefore, for several years in a row, he has been taking advantage of his family’s vacation on Father’s Day.
“In fact, I’ve been searching for that religion for a long time, and during a walk I thought about what the word ‘faith’ is made of. I realized that it was made up of two words: ‘alone’ and ‘walk’. So walking now it’s like my church. ” “I cry there when it is already very difficult and I discover many good things, euphoria. When I go, I recharge. It is a kind of meditation for me,” says S. Urbon.
Without meditating in this way, Simonas was already going from Vilnius to Kėdainiai, to Druskininkai. Before that, half of Thailand made that turn.
“I have been waiting for this trip for a month,” says the interlocutor. “After the quarantine, it was very, very good, because my wife and I were really tired during those months. We had to reconcile work and teach the children at home, who are still too young.” I sit on that computer. It’s a weary time and I’m glad I had that opportunity. I must travel 5 to 6 days depending on how many kilometers it takes to keep my body tired, but I only have three, I have to return on Sunday because a festive dinner is planned “., – said the man last week.
When the children were born, I just “turned off” everything and started learning. I started learning from them, I started learning how to be better, I started learning to go to bed earlier, get up earlier and set a good example.
According to Simon, if someone had said that the quarantine would last 20 years, people would immediately have started to live in a different way, because they would understand that it would be for a long time. And when nothing was clear, the family grew a little to the rhythm of the holidays: after all, they had traveled to Thailand at that time three winters earlier, and this year they remained in quarantine for as long as they were in Thailand. After the “holidays” I had to work and study. The period was tedious until it finally set a certain agenda: it was saved. “But now, I will not hide, we are happy that the children can go to kindergarten, you can breathe a little,” says Urbon.
With children – father
The father of three children had twice taken parental leave. She also cares for the third child, as she often works from home.
When asked to remember how the idea arose that he, not his wife, would raise children, the man says he grew up alone in the family. His parents divorced fairly early, so he was still concerned if he could establish a solid family relationship, a relationship with his children.
“I had a project: my colleague and I traveled through Europe for two months without money,” said Simon. “I left when my wife was six months pregnant. During that trip, I realized that I really wanted to establish a relationship with my son. I called Eve before the trip ended and said that I would like to go on paternity leave When she had a child, she was graduating at the time, she wanted to work with her eyes still burning, we did not know what it would be like, but I said that we would try and, if we could not, we would look for another way. wife couldn’t feed him, and he immediately opened my hands. “
So when the couple had their first daughter, they had a mother at home with her for two months, and then they both agreed that the quirks of work made it much easier for the husband to stay home for a longer period of time. The wife went to work and Simon had to try. And he began to like it: he became interested in raising a child, reading literature, attending seminars and conferences. He felt great there because there was a father with the baby among the mothers, and he, growing up with the mother and grandmother, managed to communicate with the women.
“I became a great man in the eyes of many. It was much more difficult for my wife. She received comments that she had left children for her career, what kind of mother she was! Psychologically it was difficult for her. But we tried to support her, We sent him photos, we went to work, we tried to spend as much time as possible all together, “says S. Urbon.
When a son was born a year later, the situation was similar, and the man was happy to stay home again. It is true that the old man was soon released to kindergarten. And she really wanted to keep the third, but even while she waited, she accepted that her mother would take care of her daughter; finally needed to feel what that parental leave meant. But here, too, Urbon acted his way: He reviewed his finances and realized that he could be with his family for half a year. According to him, it was the most wonderful time in the family when they could raise children and spend time together.
Attitude is important
Recalling the upbringing of the first daughter, S. Urbon admits that he and his wife had to learn everything: when a child is born, after all, no one gives instructions … Now he himself is surprised that he gave the boy sausages from milk or cottage cheese as a snack, a tablet in his hands sitting in a cup, now he would not do that for nothing.
“When I had to be alone with a child, many people scared me: what if you drown, if something happens, you cry, if you breathe? It seemed to me that small children wake up every morning with the mission to destroy and work from parents all day to protect them. “I almost wanted to put on that security. After that, I had the courage, I began to realize that everything seems to be given to you, you do it and you leave. Probably every man is coded to be a father, you just need to unlock that code, “thinks Simon.
Still haunted by noise, a mess at home that wasn’t there before the children were born. But over time, she is getting used to both the noise and cleanliness that can be maintained in a house full of children.
So is parental leave really a vacation? “I once said that word should be changed and called a job. Then at least men would understand that women don’t feel at home with a child anyway. But now I think it’s a matter of attitude. When you’re tired or when the other half doesn’t support you “It is very hard work. It is really difficult for one to take care of children and daily life when the other is working. And when we do it for two, it’s like a game, “says Urbon.
The situation is changing
According to Simon, if a person can fully dedicate himself and be with a child, see how he grows, grow together, it is definitely a party. Because the brain works completely differently when you’re on parental leave. And it’s not surprising that many moms start businesses when a baby is born – the brain works differently and creatively. And for him, a lot of ideas came up, various projects during parental leave.
“About four years ago, I thought raising a child was definitely not a vacation, but now my attitude is changing,” says Urbon. “I think if you take it as a vacation, then it’s a really wonderful time. If you focus on something alone, what? After all, mothers often try to raise kids and work on something, then they don’t do anything, they don’t do anything until In the end, their conscience gnaws, then they sit down at night, in the morning they get tired, they get angry and all this feels like a child … As soon as you raise a child and In Lithuania, we can do it for a long time: we have a good opportunity, we just have to take advantage of it, and we have the opportunity to take advantage of it, because sometimes those benefits per child are too low. Many depend on finances. And men in Lithuania earn 30 more than women, that’s true. “
It is true that the situation is changing. Lately, Simon has met with more and more men at various seminars. While joking, he also has to shrug his shoulders – the focus is not just on him. But he likes that you can meet men pushing the wheelchair more and more often. “I am not saying that he is a good model. I believe that each family has to discover its own model, and it is the best”, the man teaches.
The best version
Simon calculated that if he worked from morning to afternoon, like most men, he would earn much more than he does now. But what matters most is not money, but the time he spends with his family. Some work a few hours a day and then say they didn’t notice how their children grew up.
“Of course, a child needs a mother. But I also know that it takes a connection with both parents, and to say that a father is a mother’s helper in raising a child is not appropriate because we are equally important. I think parents they are like wings for a child, with one wing you can fly somewhere, but flying with two is much easier, “says the grandfather.
And who do you think is the perfect father? According to S. Urbon, it is the father who is with his son when the child needs him. So to be a good father when a child is born, you just have to forget your previous life and try to be the most perfect version of yourself for at least five years, the way you think you would be a good person.
“I think the definition of a perfect father is to strive to be perfect,” says the interlocutor. “I changed a lot. I enjoyed clubs, parties and all kinds of things. When the children were born, I just ‘turned off’ everything and began to learn. I began to learn from them, I began to learn to be better, I began to learn to go to bed earlier , get up earlier and set a good example. “
Challenges help improve
Urbon is a lover of challenges for himself. It has already shown that it can survive without the internet, without sugar, without meat, without alcohol, drinking only water or eating nursery food. The last 100-day challenge, about three years ago, became the #ChildrenNext Box and changed children’s diets in many of the country’s kindergartens and schools, focusing on how people are fed in hospitals.
By deciding during the experiment to delve into what children eat in kindergarten every day, the man does not hide the fact that the 100-day trial of eating kindergarten food seemed to open his eyes. He says he realized that in 30 years, the system in preschools has not changed much, and children’s nutritional problems are really on a large scale. So this time he began to delve into the general situation, not himself.
In kindergartens, children are fed at least three times a day. Therefore, according to S. Urbon, they get used to malnutrition and take those habits home. Even if parents try to implement the principles of healthy eating at home, it can all fall apart in kindergarten.
No less a problem and the parents’ attitude towards children’s nutrition. Although we have many sources of information these days, there is still a lack of awareness in society: it is often the parents themselves who encourage children to adopt inappropriate eating habits.
So the planned 100-day challenge for S. Urbon turned into two years of hard work. Well, as Simonas says, at least milk sausages have probably been eradicated in all Lithuanian kindergartens because of this challenge. And when the opportunity arises, keep telling the kids that because of them they don’t drink sugar tea in kindergarten now, so the kids have something to be mad about. But you hear more and more that they don’t drink sugar tea anyway. Therefore, the change is taking place. And the “Super Padres” movement, which promotes adequate nutrition for children in educational institutions, brought together some 25,000. parents
“My last challenge is playing sports and getting along with everything I’ve done in previous challenges,” says the man. “Many of those challenges have caused damage. It is always better to live in balance, the challenges are extreme, and sometimes the body is shocked.” Yes, my face started to clean, but I gained 8 kg, because it turned out that not all fluids are removed from my body. When living without the Internet started all the paranoia, I’m afraid I won’t survive, because living in the city without the Internet is a big problem. I didn’t even have time to catch up, I even needed a psychotherapist at the end of the challenge: I broke my nerves and I don’t like leaving it unfinished. When the challenges are related to nutrition, the family has to adapt.
The latest project in the life of the Urbonai family is that a children’s playroom will be established this summer in Naujininkai, a wet district of Vilnius, that they would like to contribute to the renaissance. Children who come there are expected to get a good healthy meal.
Family breakfast for 1.10 euros.
Benedict’s eggs on a sea-buckthorn
5 eggs – 0.45 euros,
1 carrot – 0.09 euros,
1 onion – 0.08 euros,
1 celery – € 0.08,
300 g of buckwheat – 0.40 euros.
Pour the buckwheat with water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cook until buckwheat boils, about 15 minutes. Drain the remaining water and leave it covered. Cut and fry the onion, carrot and celery until soft, about 5-7 minutes. Mix with buckwheat. If so, you can try some soy sauce. Prepare the cooking plate and the adhesive film. Grease with oil, beat an egg and tie a ribbon. Place the ribbons in boiling water and cook for 5 minutes. Place buckwheat with vegetables on a plate, with Benedict’s egg on top.
“Dream bar” for 15 euro cents
Until I started exercising, I thought little about how much protein I ate and how much I needed. In the store, I always keep an eye on those protein bars with all sorts of additives, but their price usually drives me back. Two euros, three, and sometimes more. I once complained to my wife, and she says, do it yourself. Said ̇ and sacred. I got 37 bars for 4.75 euros.
400 g of oats,
100 g of sunflower
100 g of pumpkin seeds,
100 g of sesame seeds,
100 g of dried apricots,
50 g of flaxseed,
80 g of butter
80 g of coconut butter,
150 g of honey.
Fry all the seeds a little, then grind them with a mixer. Chop the apricots. For better grinding, freeze first. Finally, chop and oatmeal with a blender. Only briefly to avoid oatmeal. Put everything in a bowl. Melt the butter and honey and coconut butter. Pour all the melted dough over the seeds, oats and apricots. Mix everything well. You can sprinkle with vanilla, cinnamon, protein powder. After mixing well, place in a tin lined with baking paper. Distribute the dough to a thickness of 1 cm. Place in the oven and bake at 170 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Take out and let cool. Cut the chilled dough into bars of the desired size.
Urbon’s challenge to himself: cheaper, not worse
The first challenge for me was to make dessert because I had never done it. Also, I wanted it to be cheaper, tastier, and healthier. You may ask, how compatible and healthy dessert? I chose to produce Pavlov. If we compare traditional cakes and pies with half a kilogram of butter, flour, sour cream, cream, many egg yolks, the calories in “Pavlova” are negligible. Some squats, some jumps and a dessert can be repeated again. Especially so cheap, for only 5 with a little euro.
You will need 5 egg whites, 300 g of sugar, citric acid on the tip of a teaspoon, 1 teaspoon of starch, 400 ml of whipped cream, fresh berries, mint. Start beating the whites and whipping until foam is formed, but there are no stiff white mountains yet. Then add a tablespoon of sugar and beat until smooth. Add citric acid, starch, and beat until stiff and solid protein dough. Line the pan with parchment paper and form a round or square circle with a spoon of the resulting dough. Place in a preheated oven at 150-160 degrees for one hour, then turn off after one hour, but leave Pavlov in the oven. After a few hours, remove the morengine pad from the paper, beat the cream, shake it on the morengine pad, sprinkle with berries, mint, delicious!
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