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Carol says she wanted to fundamentally change her distracted and error-filled life, to become not only addicted-free, but also a responsible father of her children. He says there was one last chance to get up.
– How were you in the rehabilitation center, how long have you been there?
– I have been in the center for more than a year, I should be here for at least another half year before finishing the rehabilitation program. How did I find myself? Sister drove. They asked me if I wanted to change and I pointed to this center. I had reached the bottom, which was run by my own wrong lifestyle.
He had more than one addiction: alcohol, drugs, gambling. Before, she didn’t call me addiction, but now I realize that I was addicted to many things. I started using drugs in my early teens, at the age of thirteen. I didn’t go to school all the time.
I lived outside of Lithuania for a long time. From the age of eighteen I worked abroad in factories and warehouses. My lifestyle was messy. A lost
– When did you start a family?
– He was 23 years old. I found the other half in Norway. At first, as is often the case, everything was great, and then the recession began. Deep consumption and losses.
– How did it happen that you stayed in the rehabilitation center with two of your children? How old are you
– The girl will soon be four years old in June and the boy three in August. At first I came alone to the center, and then I took the children with them, because their mother uses drugs, lives abroad and does not raise children.
My children lived in Lithuania with a babysitter for some time, but they also found her intoxicated. All the circumstances were such that I finally decided to change my life and do what I always wanted: to raise my own children. The center gave me the opportunity to pick up children and stay with them. I am very happy about that.
– Tell us more about why it was important that you bring the children. Why were they left unattended?
– Of course, and because of that, but also because he wanted them to be a father. I used to run away from parental concerns and responsibilities. While the children lived with their mother, my parental love seemed to fade, I was afraid to assume parental responsibilities.
When such circumstances arose, the mother did not start raising the children when she informed me of the situation and said that she could take them to the center, I did not hesitate for a minute. Just the miracle I was waiting for happened.
– Did the miracle you were waiting for happen?
– It was an opportunity to take the children and be their father in the true sense of the word.
– Is the mother of children interested in children?
– I don’t know exactly where the mother of the children is. It looks like he lives somewhere in Finland, his mother-in-law said. Are you interested in children? During all this time, while living downtown, we called twice through the staff. I don’t know if you can say that she’s interested.
Photo of the authors of the report / Karolis Grinius with their children.
– What is your life in the center with the children now? How does he look?
– As soon as I got to the center, it seemed silly to me, why everything is here, I thought since ancient times. The understanding provided was difficult to change.
Today, my values are different. I get up in the morning and I can enjoy life. I used to enjoy material things, and now I enjoy the shining sun, the dew on the grass. I enjoy every moment. I say “love” to the children, I kiss them. I live significantly.
– Are there adequate living conditions for children in the rehabilitation center?
– yeah All conditions are met. Large patio, playground, meadow, gym. We have our own separate, renovated, furnished room. There is nothing missing for children here. I am very happy with the center and everything that is here. What I did not get in my family, I have here. I am excited to have the opportunity to be here.
I say “love” to the children, I kiss them. I live significantly.
– What did you not get in your parents’ family?
– Love. The father also had addictions. My relationship with my mother was very complicated. I always lacked my mother’s love, they always rejected me. Maybe that’s why my life came about, maybe it’s the consequences? Regrets. The wounds now need to be treated.
I try to see positively what I could do differently, what I could transmit to my children, so as not to make the same mistakes my parents made. I study everyday. I used to pour out my anger on people, and now I’m learning to say “I love you.” I find great joy at every moment, glad that my thinking is changing.
My life in the center was horrible. I gave myself one last chance to change. I chose a new life and I am happy to live differently, I am happy to love children, to live with them. I go to bed every night with joy. The children hug each other and say: “I love you, Dad …”. My relationship with children has been strengthened.
– How do you imagine your life after the rehabilitation center?
– After rehabilitation? I’m also thinking about science, maybe what professions to learn. I have dreamed of working in a team with friends, like-minded people, from childhood. This center has approached me, its staff is close.
There are many activities in this rehabilitation center. It would be nice if there was a place for me, I could work with like-minded people, contribute to the well-being of other people. I don’t want to be different with this environment, with these people.
– This rehabilitation center is Christian. Have you discovered faith in God?
– yeah Being in the center I discovered God, my faith grew stronger. A personal connection to God emerged. It used to be uninteresting to me, attending churches was not interesting to me. Now I’m glad we go to church.
I pray with the children before going to bed. Children already know how to pray to God. I encourage you to do so. Now I have a new life and a beautiful hope. I have a wonderful hope
– Can I mention your real name in the article?
– yeah In the past, I used to hide my identity. And I want to forget my old life. But if someone finds it helpful to read my story, let me be happy if I can help.
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Tomas Remeika, an employee of the Alfa Centras rehabilitation community in Marijampolė, says the Karolis case is exceptional. This situation was an impetus for even the staff of the center to change their way of thinking:
“Carol’s case is experimental. This is the first time that Dad has taken the children to live with him in the center. I am sensitive to these things.
It is difficult for me to express in words how Carol took care of keeping the children well in the center. He himself contributed to the renovation of the room. The room where he now lives with the children used to be even without a window. Karol went to great lengths to make the windows appear, repairing himself. I had to see it. Tears rolled down everyone.
Getting to know the parent with the kids, settling down, and communicating has dramatically changed our staff’s attitude toward what we do. It is more than a rehabilitation center for addicted people. These people are not just addicts, slippery people, their hearts are soft and loving. The experiment really paid off. “
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