After 22 years of silence, the boy called his mother: I decided on a thought

But this year, when we physically distance ourselves, it seems that the real Christmas will happen for the first time. When you feel the essence not in eating, but in really thinking about your parents or children. That doesn’t matter what they are. The most important thing is that they are. After a hundred searches for gifts, running from one last-minute fair to another is replaced by online chats with cousins ​​whose voices have not been heard for years. When you feel that the most rewarding thing is not a Christmas bonus no greater than that year, but that you can revisit the grandparents that you lost this year. So that you can still sit with them, listen to them, look at them.

That sense of community that you used to experience before the holidays has brought everyone together for much longer and more often this year. Only the communion was not created by everyone’s desire to complete the work in time to bring others quietly after the New, in a rush to send gifts to London by mail or search abundant throughout the city, and restrictions, difficulties, disasters . But even that acts as a creative power. Released limitations, challenges and conflicts in the relationship converge, love was born in the face of adversity.

This was also evidenced by the friends I wrote to. They reported how restrictions on activities, parties, and the company of friends increased the time spent seeking a healthier diet (for example, cake and French fries were replaced by fried bananas with cinnamon) and even more intense than routines normal working hours.

When the “permanence” in the relationship showed the ugliest sides of the other, who were nowhere to vent, I had to work hard – angry “n” times and speak the same way. But by coincidence or not, it was the first time I had experienced moments of inner love and relaxation never before experienced. And blessing when you are given the space to be full. Even when it is unpleasant, angry, offensive and hurtful, it is not “dismissed”, but accepted.

For this, said a friend, he feels immense gratitude and love for that loved one.

However, it was also the case that forced alienation brought us closer to life in general for the first time.

“My relationship with my family is bad anyway, we don’t communicate, we don’t keep in touch,” one of my friends begins in a voice message. – The story is that I have a mother who is addicted to alcohol. We have not communicated with her since childhood. I beg you never to call me, your alcohol problem is only getting worse, no one is getting along.

However, during the pandemic, I dared to start communicating with her again. About twenty-two years later. The call, of course, is very strange because there is absolutely nothing to talk about. I’ll just ask you how you stick to the newest (laughs a little). When I was 28, I congratulated my mother on her birthday for the first time. “

When asked how and what thought, what impulse pushed him to take the initiative, he went on to say: “Watching the coward cut everything down, the familiar thought of ‘Memento mori’ (I remember dying) came to me very strongly. The system has the ability to bounce back, to stand up again, and a person who dies will not return.

I started to think that in my story, however, I want to have a figure like mom, no matter what it is. Inner maturity probably came because I got rid of the demands. My little inner child realized that my created mom would not come, that I would like her to come to. Realizing this, I gained a lot of freedom, it doesn’t hurt anymore. Anyway, I try to talk to my mother tactfully in the mornings because it is no longer possible in the afternoons.

But once I called her at night. And that conversation lasted maybe three hours. After drinking, he loses consciousness, he says, even putting the phone aside, not hearing that information. But every ten minutes I asked him how he was doing. And each time she also reacted sensitively. He suffered a lot from this question, he was crying. And what I realized is that people unconsciously enter these various addictions.

To escape suffering, thereby causing even greater suffering for oneself. I thought, blemba, well, I’m aware, strong, and calm enough inside that I can ask this man how he is and listen, understand, try to listen between the lines. And the reason was the realization that no matter how long we have left, let’s live in peace. No complaints of the past there, as it is now, let’s live. I always call now, every week, usually on Saturdays. “

We have probably experienced our wonders during this time. And if not, it is time to start creating them, because miracles do not come by themselves at Christmas.