A biological, adoptive and adoptive mother is open to pain: there were times when her daughter said that the sisters no longer wanted

Man plans and God laughs

The family is currently raising three children. The biological daughter is 10 years old, the adoptive boy is 11 years old and the adopted girl is only one and a half years old. Irena said that it all started with the desire to have a great family. “It just came to our attention then. After eight years of effort, visiting doctors, we miraculously had our firstborn. We said that if we were successful, we would have about five children. But a miracle happened only once. When our daughters were eight, we decided wait a long time. We went and wrote an adoption request. Time passed We knew that the later, the more difficult it would be to grow, “said the interlocutor.

The family did not care if the child would be cared for or adopted. “Although it was a decision for us and my husband, without your support and determination, it would not have been determined. The man said now or never. We discussed that with my daughter too. He said the sisters wanted to, but he had no idea what it meant because he had never had such an experience, “said Irena.

The family thought about adopting the girl from birth to three years, but as they say, the man is planning and God is laughing. “While we were in line, lists were sent of children who did not meet the parents’ expectations. Generally speaking, no one needs children. It was very painful to see those letters. You see how many unnecessary children. When we got one, another, third, I checked and I was left with a name: Elena. She was born the same year as our daughter. Why she got stuck, I don’t know. Her name was similar to our daughter. I thought for a few days, I told my husband, I called, I asked. We went, we met, she visited us. So everything went very fast. We started communicating in September and we already brought her home in December, ”said the interlocutor.

They became friends only during the quarantine

According to her, it was not more difficult than expected, but certain challenges awaited. “Maybe it was more difficult for our daughters because there was a phase out, we had to share both the place and the toys, I’m not talking about care anymore. But I was never afraid to go to psychologists, I talked to them about whether we were doing the right thing or we weren’t hurting our son. There were times when he said he didn’t want a sister anymore. There were a lot of tears, a lot of emotions and only now, thanks to the quarantine, they made friends and discovered a connection. The girl we care for is very good, she receives A lot of good comments. Annoyed. She has seen many bad things in her life, but she knows how to forgive and see the positive side, “said Irena.

It is true, as soon as Elena settled in the family, the next day the young parents received unexpected news. “December 20, Elena came to live with us, and on December 21, we received an offer for the birth of a boy. We adopted. After all, we requested this. It turned out that not one but two boys appeared in December. The girls responded good to the little boy, even though it was the hardest thing for my birth girl. When we went to see her, she was in a very bad mood. It was difficult for her to accept everything. But I felt the need to go and do it. She cannot be guided by the child’s emotions in this situation. When he grows up, I think he will understand why we are doing it, “said the interlocutor.

The woman does not hide that when she became a large family during the day, the domestic chores increased, but the older ones are already large, so they no longer need to be closely supervised. “It is very good that she has a maternity leave now, I can pay more attention to the room because she had difficulties with her studies. Also, for example, fear of sleeping alone. There had to be someone in the room with her. He was bullied by the care home. But within 1-2 weeks, those horrors dissipated. Now everything is fine. We still have a cub, he helped him adapt, ”said his mother. Still, it took almost a year and a half for everyone to feel good. “My husband was not and is not difficult, and I was not without challenges. For my biological daughter, too. As I said, it only got easier after quarantine. Although at first there were tears that they did not rest completely, always together. Emotions flowed freely, but after a couple of weeks they became best friends, “said Irena.

It grew like a flower

Alina still interacts with her biological parents, especially her father. “She was taken from home only when she was 8 years old. Therefore, she is not an ‘institutional’ girl. She just grew up like a flower, no one really applied like that. While living in a nursing home, her father went to meetings all on Sundays. She had temporary guardians, who we also communicate with now. We keep in touch with them. The real mother has not paid attention since January, “said the interlocutor.

It is true that Irena admits that such meetings with Alina’s true parents are not pleasant for her. “When I talked about it during training, I thought it would not be like that for me. Now I realize that there is nothing nice here. But it is necessary. For the child That is why you have to go beyond that in your greatness “said the woman.

When asked how the youngest family member feels, Irena said she also needs attention and time. “All children are different. Maybe it doesn’t even depend on whether it was adopted or not. Although in fact my biological daughter, she was very calm. I was joking that I could grow 10 of them. And Mary demands a lot of attention. It seems as if from birth one was afraid of being left alone. I don’t want to cum. But I don’t think so because of adoption. Many friends say the same about their children, ”said the interlocutor.

Does the family still plan to take the children home? “If I were younger, I would definitely plan more children, but now there is a very high risk. Unless brothers or sisters appear. But we don’t plan anyway, “the woman smiled.

He added that when he decided to adopt, not everyone around him understood such a move. “Opinions about the environment were diverse, the most common question was: who do you need it for? This is a strange question for me. After all, we have to help each other. Perhaps some still do not understand our actions, but most have accepted it positively. Some were fascinated, “said Irena.