In memory of the defender of the rights of the child – the orphanage: the babies who lay in the cribs or cried because they knew that no one would take them by the hand

“There were many babies lying in the cribs and no one was crying. They had already learned that no one would react, take him in his arms or reassure them. I told myself that I was strong, that he did not cry, that he came to help, feed the children, be with them, but then I did not hold back the tears and promised myself that if I ever had the chance in life, I would. I would accept such a child into my family “, – a sensitive memory Elžbieta Važinskytė, 28, human rights defender of the child who has joined the Kaunas County Children’s Rights Protection Division team this spring.

Since she was fifteen, Elizabeth has become important in helping children, involving her mother as a singing teacher, a brother ten years younger. The teen-led family joined the Love Droplet initiative and volunteered at the orphanage for a long time. The girl has already gone through a series of experiences and cognitions: she worked at Vilnius SOS Children’s Village, Pravieniškės Correctional Institution, during her studies she did an internship at Panemunė Children’s Care Home, participated in a mission in Africa. We spoke with Elizabeth about how the children she met in different circumstances changed their own values.

African children were taught to enjoy the little things

The girl went to Nairobi, the Kenyan capital, with the aim of contributing to the noble mission of Alice Muhonija. This woman runs the Safisha Africa Welfare Foundation, an organization that helps address the problems of out-of-school children and reduce their exclusion. Alice founded a school and takes care of homeless children at home. A volunteer from Lithuania lived together, helped care for these children and still had a position at the school.

Elizabeth says the children didn’t just learn, they ate at school, and a modest lunch was often their only hot meal that day. The school, reminiscent of a four-room apartment, was attended by more than a hundred children from the poorest families who could not afford to send their children to public institutions where tuition was paid. The school survives on enthusiasm, charities, and volunteers. Another Lithuanian woman, girls from France and Spain, and only a few full-time teachers worked together.

Students learn without a clear curriculum, depending on the book or teaching tool they are able to obtain at the time. Despite the difficulties, the children, according to the interlocutor, were extremely curious, and there the prohibition of not going to school one day was applied as a last resort for a particularly serious offense.

The time in Kenya, a couple of years after their return, the Elizabethans are still very real, many moments and experiences are not forgotten: Their eyes shone, they rejoiced, recalls the interlocutor. “That cannot be indifferent, this experience has shown once again that a child needs very little to be happy: security, attention”.

The men in prison are the same unloved children

A child rights defender says that working in Africa is a gift of fate, he found out about the possibility of leaving and decided to improvise. As the gift of fate names his other options, they became enriched, changed, and all without exception related to children. Here she also associates the duties of a social worker at the Pravieniškės Correctional Institution, where she worked with imprisoned men, with a field close to her: “After all, the prisoners are the same unloved children and all their problems stem from childhood. . “

In Pravieniškės, he learned to see the person behind bars today differently and claims that the life stories of the prisoners explain their frequent commute to the correctional facility. The first memories of neglect, hunger, violence, alcohol and other things difficult to understand are accepted as the norm.

She was often in dire straits when she was helping men serving their sentences with fixing documents, a statement of residence, etc. And this is not the story of one person, they repeat themselves, ”Elizabeth shares.

So now, as an advocate for children at work, when you interact with addicted parents, you try to convey a simple message that an adult child can replicate their lifestyle: “Do you want this? Or maybe we can still change something together? That is what I ask my parents and they manage to achieve the goal, because no one wants bad things for their son ”.

The specialist draws attention to the abundance of services for the family and is pleased that they are constantly growing, easily accessible, free and professionally employed. She urges parents to have confidence in the effectiveness of help and not to give up on difficulties or trying to overcome long-term problems.

The foster home realized that no one would replace the boy’s family.

From school to study, Elizabeth worked as a babysitter, so far she easily counts all her children: there were 17. Although she was everything as a teenager, she studied well, attended music school and gave her parents, music teachers , solo singing teachers. and the choir director hope the daughter will become what they call her. However, the teenager preferred to spend time in the baby’s house instead of singing and piano lessons.

“As a volunteer, I started in an orphanage in Kaunas. I went alone, then I spoke with my mother and my brother, other acquaintances. Mom resisted longer, still saying that she would not be able to see those little ones, that she would cry. But in the end he gave up, and we were together as volunteers for many years ”, the interlocutor is proud.

The babysitter works with babies from families who care for them and babies who grow up without the care of their parents; there is an immeasurable gap between them. The young woman was opened with many questions about the harmful experiences of childhood, attachment, adoption, and later she was looking for answers while studying in the Department of Social Sciences at Vytautas Magnus University.

Remember that more than a decade ago, babies at home were quite sad, although the staff were loving and compassionate, but some experiences are difficult even to pass on to you. The girl took care of the three-year-old babies, some of whom were already calling their mother a few months later. She remembers a girl who, when she saw Elizabeth’s ten-year-old brother, she also screamed “Mom!” He did not understand who that “mother” was, but the word itself was probably associated with an infinite desire.

Remind parents about the focus on their children.

Elizabethan manages to communicate not only with babies, but also with teenagers. Vilnius SOS Children’s Village did not give in to a preformed negative opinion about the teenager, her experience says that when she shows attention, invests in a respectful relationship, the best young woman emerges from under the protective shell. The specialist wonders why the care of adolescents is unattractive in our country.

Elizabeth went to the Service for the Adoption and Protection of the Rights of the Child without prejudice, but with a little anxiety: if she would have enough knowledge and experience in delicate situations. In the first days of work, an event occurred when a teenager ran away from his home in the Kaunas district. The girl quickly appeared, and the task of the specialist at that time was to assess the situation in the family, listen to the children and initiate the necessary help.

Elizabeth says: “I call in fear, Dad answers and the first sentence reassures: I’m glad you are reacting, you need help, we are confused. I came, spoke with the runaway in person, with other children in the family and some of those problems came up: parents are busy, they work a lot, children get little attention, so they try to remind themselves of minor offenses with a behavior challenging. The family accepted the advice, understood the origin of the problems: the mother immediately decided to take a vacation and stay alone with the children, both agreed to pay individual attention to their offspring ”.

Although this story is positive, according to the interlocutor, not all have a pleasant ending. Elizabeth says that it happens that you work with families where both parents are dependent on alcohol, the help of specialists is rejected, the children are abandoned and they are still unsafe at home. He meets mothers his age who do not raise children, they worry more about other things. “So I have such a rhetorical question: how do you not understand how many people dream of having a baby and their dream will never come true? You are blessed, you have received a special gift, enjoy it, observe with joy the small steps of your child every day “.