The belief that a woman should satisfy a man hides a much more terrible truth: only a few dare to speak about it.

“There are some statistics and, unfortunately, they are not encouraging. If we compare the figures registered due to domestic violence, and if we look at the percentage of crimes of sexual assault, we would see that in the general context it is only less than one percent,” he said D. Puidokienė.

She presented in 2018. For example, when approximately 7,000 people have suffered physical violence it is only sexual abuse, according to the expert the figures are similar throughout the year, but this only proves that the problem of sexual abuse in our country is very large and invisible.

“Women are sexually abused and there are really many examples of that. For almost 17 years, we have had many painful cases, which actually ended in women finding it difficult to prove violence – pre-trial investigations were interrupted, not completed, ”said D. Puidokienė.

The interviewee pointed out that there are four articles in the Penal Code that establish responsibility for rape, sexual harassment, rape and abuse.

“We are often faced with different types, but if we talk about sexual violence in general, the most worrying thing is that sexual abuse, sexual abuse in the immediate environment is not considered a problem. In fact, it is a structural global phenomenon that, as far as we know, is a big problem. We don’t have a help system, we don’t have the proper legal instruments. It is very important to mention that the Istanbul Convention has not been ratified so far, “said the doctor.

D. Puidokienė noted that investigations into sexual harassment or sexual violence in Lithuania are still lacking. Furthermore, there are insufficiently specialized specializations in both education and social security.

“As a result, it is more difficult for victims to receive or not receive help,” said D. Puidokienė about the unadorned reality.

When asked how often in his work practice he finds cases in which a spouse or a partner uses sexual violence against his partner, D. Puidokienė assured that this problem is very big.

“All practitioners say that these cases occur quite frequently, but we don’t have those statistics yet, because they are not recorded. They are not recognized or recognizable, identified as a problem. However, when talking to victims, battered women, most of they confirm that it is as if it were her “duty” to provide some kind of sexual service, that it is her duty as a wife that she should make love to her husband “is another reason why many cases of sexual abuse remain in the shadows appointed by D. Puidokienė.

The doctor also recalled that in 2018. A survey by the Office of the Ombudsman for Equal Opportunities revealed that almost half of the country’s population shares the opinion that making love to a husband is a duty of the wife.

“The scale is huge, but if we look at how many cases of this type are detected, we will probably see very minimal statistics,” said the specialist.

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“It just came to our attention then. Especially in our society we need to change the mentality, we need to change the perception, understanding, attitude towards the victim. We have to do it in all areas, but it is very important that you start from the highest step, it is that is, change the legal framework ”, said D. Puidokienė.

The doctor said that the situation for victims of sexual violence was exacerbated by the quarantine. According to her, specialized help centers estimate that the number of requests from victims increased by approximately 20% during the first quarantine period.

“It is natural because people experience more anxiety during isolation and are still trying to express that anxiety through means such as violence. Without a doubt, the situation is tense,” said D. Puidokienė.

Asked by journalist Kristina Ciparytė what advice she would give to women who are currently experiencing violence, the doctor said that although victims do not always dare to seek help, both those close to them and the woman herself must take care of their safety first.

Who could provide that security? Be it loved ones or friends, or just specialized and comprehensive help centers. The only weapon against any kind of violence is advertising. It is very important that the affected woman can share the damage she has suffered with at least one person, tell what happened and perhaps that person can be an important pillar in her life, ”shared the specialist.

D. Puidokienė emphasized that in case of any violence, and especially in case of sexual abuse, it is very important to preserve the evidence.

“What do girls and women who have experienced such violence do? They try to wash, wash and remove all of that experience ASAP because it is so painful. Undoubtedly, women who have suffered violence should go to complex specialized help centers ”, recommended D. Puidokienė, emphasizing that the specialists who work in these institutions know how to react and how to help. Affected women can also receive psychological and legal assistance here.

In case of sexual abuse, it is necessary to report it to the police, as well as to seek medical attention to provide urgently needed medical assistance.

“Without a doubt, it is very important to have someone close to the woman at that time. One that can help, support, support, understand, because, as our practice shows, it is extremely difficult for a person to do it, “said the interlocutor.