Ten and one movies the greatest critic of all time hated



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America learned, but also the rest of the world, more or less, cinema.

But it also taught us something else, perhaps more important, that writing about film can also be a Art.

And he wrote a lot is the truth, uninterrupted from 1967 to 2012, when cancer no longer allowed him to write.

A life full of cinema, for 45 years he constantly wrote reviews for the “Chigago Sun Times”. More than 250 texts a year. Every year.

Together with their collaborator, also known as Gene Siskel, they created their own criticism system, the “two thumbs.” Two thumbs up for a good one movie, two thumbs down for bad movies.

Roger Ebert lived and breathed cinema and worked hard to bring all its aspects to the surface. He also loved the whole new batch of American cinema, creators like Scorsese, Coppola and Altman, but he also loved European directors. And especially Bergman.

His reviews have always had some movie theory, so they were great. So great that he was the first Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic for his writing.

Agree and disagree, Ebert’s reviews will never get boring. They were simple, clear, understandable, neither theatrical style nor eloquent terms. And then they were texts that worked by themselves. There are people who have confessed that they read their reviews without even being interested in cinema!

You saw a man with a passion for the seventh art vigorously defending his views. And caustically bury all the movies he hated.

The truth, of course, is that even the ones he buried, he loved in some way. In their own way. These also gave you the opportunity to give us your funniest and funniest texts!

For the untold 2003 “The Loss of Love”, after giving it 0 stars, he wrote let’s say:

“I had done colonoscopy once they let me watch it on TV. It was more fun than ‘Loss of Love.’ “In fact, when asked by director Vincent Gallo to speak publicly, mocking him for his extra pounds, critics responded:

“It is true that I am fat. But one day I may lose weight, but he will still be the director of” Loss of Love “!

Another excellent example of his sharp humor was his critique of the 2001 film “Freddy Got Fingered”, in which he wrote below 0 stars (he always got excellent 4 stars).

“This movie does not scratch the bottom of the barrel. This movie is not the bottom of the barrel. This movie is not below the bottom of the barrel. This movie is not noteworthy in the same sentence with barrels.”

Of course, he did not bite his words even for popular movies that were especially loved by the world audience …

“Usual Suspects” (1995) – 1.5 stars

“Once again my understanding slipped and I finally noticed: ” As far as I understand, I don’t care. ” However, it was somewhat comforting. at the end of the movie to find out that I finally understood what it was to understand. It was just that there was less to understand than a movie originally suggested. “

“Armageddon” (1998) – 1 star

“The movie is an attack on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to have fun. No matter how much they charge to get in, it’s more worth getting out … Him ”Armageddon“Rumor has it that he hired 9 screenwriters.

Why did they need someone? Dialogue is single-line screaming or romantic salivations. “It will explode” is heard so many times that I wonder if all the writers wrote it once and then sat back comfortably with a big smile on their faces, another day of work is over “…

“Thor” (2011) – 1.5 stars

“The story may be enough for a children’s animated movie with him. Thor, Odin and the others played by piglets. In the realm of comic book superhero movies, it’s a desperate attempt.

“Nothing interesting happens, nothing interesting is said and special effects do not give place or time, they are only special effects.”

“Charlie’s Angels” (2000) – 1.5 stars

“Charlie’s Angels” is like a movie trailer for a video game. Without the video game and without the movie. “

“The guru of love” [The Love Guru] (2008) – 1 star

“Meyers has some funny moments, but this movie could have been written on the bathroom walls by beginners. Any reference to the human reproductive organ or the defecation process is not automatically funny because it is just clever, but the Myers seems to be possessed by this deception.

“It’s like he’s trying to get away with it, but really all he’s getting away with is selling tickets to a sad experience.”

“Save the boyfriend” [Saving Silverman] (2001) – 1.5 stars

“Saving the boyfriend is so bad in so many different ways that you may have to look at it as an example of the lowest point of a bell curve.”

As for Neil Diamond, “Save the Groom” is his first appearance in a fictional film from “The Jazz Singer” (1980). “One can only admire the fact that he waited 20 years to appear in a second movie, only to find one worse than the first.”

“Animal Detective” (1994) – 1 star

“Most of the actors seem like they want to be in other movies. The movie basically has a joke, which is its weird weirdness. Ace Ventura. If you laugh at this joke, you are probably laughing at Jerry Lewis too, so I like you even if I don’t understand you.

I found the movie to be a long, harmless punch in an impenetrable plot. Children may like it. To real little children. “

“Duke” (2005) – 1 star

“Of course you don’t have to be smart to play”The Dukes of Hazzard” But people like Willie Nelson and Bart Reynolds had to be smart enough to stay away from her. Here’s a stupid, old-fashioned shake of two good old folks roaming the country south inside General Lee, their favorite 1969 Dodge Charger.

Coincidentally, I also drive a 1969 Dodge Charger. They can certainly be distinguished because mine doesn’t have the Confederate flag painted on the roof!

“Godzilla” (1998) – 1.5 stars

“Go to see ”Godzilla” at the Palace of the Cannes Film Festival is like going to a satanic ceremony at St. Peter’s Basilica. It is arrogance in the faith that the building represents. Cannes is emotionally attached to a concept that wants the film to be smart, moving, and wonderful.

“The ‘Godzilla’ is a big, ugly, clumsy machine that is meant to give teenagers the impression that they are watching a movie.”

“Wishes in almost” [The Bucket List] (2007) – 1 star

“The ‘Bucket List’ is a film about two old men who are nothing like humans, both suffer from cancer that is nothing like cancer, and they go on adventures that are nothing like real adventures.

I urgently advise you hospitals: Do not make the DVD available to your patients. There is a risk of an epidemic if bedding is thrown on televisions!

Out of Competition: “Human Centipede” [The Human Centipede] (2010) – 0 stars

“I have to give stars to the movies I write about review. This time I refuse to do it. The star reproduction system is not suitable for this movie. The movie is good? It is bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and it lives in a world where the stars don’t shine “…



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