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Monday, March 8, 2021
“This was not what I am”
Meghan reports suicidal thoughts
A year after they immigrated to the United States, Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry gave the queen of American talk Oprah Winfrey an interview that was tough. The Duchess refrains from personal attacks. Instead, it reports racism and serious thoughts of suicide, but also a secret wedding.
In her long-awaited interview, Duchess Meghan reported suicidal thoughts and racism within the royal family. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore,” Meghan said while broadcasting a highly anticipated interview on US broadcaster CBS with host Oprah Winfrey. “I thought it would fix the situation for everyone.”
At that time, she was also afraid of being alone because she might have hurt herself. She turned to her husband, Prince Harry, and the palace for help. “I was scared because it was very real. It was not an abstract idea, it was systematic and this is not what I am.”
In the conversation with the American presenter Oprah Winfrey, Meghan also denounced racist behavior during the pregnancy of her son Archie. There have been concerns and discussions about “how dark her skin could be when she is born,” Meghan said. This grew out of conversations between the “family” and her husband, Prince Harry. However, Meghan did not want to be more precise because this would be “very harmful” for some people. However, it is clear that a dark baby would have been a problem for the palace. The 39-year-old American’s mother is black.
- If there is a risk of suicide: 911
- Advice in crisis situations: Telephone advice (0800 / 111-0-111 or 0800 / 111-0-222 or 116-123, free call) or telephone for children and young people (Tel .: 0800 / 111-0-333 or 116-111; Mon-Sat from 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.)
- At Deutsche Depressionshilfe you can find regional crisis services and clinics, as well as advice for those affected and their families.
- Those affected and their families are involved in the German Depression League. There is also an email counseling service for people with depression.
- Local Points of Contact (KISS) provide an overview of depression self-help groups.
The conversation broadcast Sunday night (local time) on CBS broadcaster is Meghan and Prince Harry’s first interview since the couple left their royal duties a year ago. Meghan’s supporters had repeatedly accused the media and the royal family of campaigning, particularly against the duchess. There were also allegations that the wife of the queen’s grandson, Harry, was exposed to racism.
RTL shows the full interview at 3pm
The pressure on her during her stay at the palace was enormous, Meghan says. It felt like she was in a golden cage and was doomed to silence. “I don’t know the institution (the monarchy), so they told us to keep quiet.” Clear rules of conduct have been imposed on everyone around her since it became known that she was in a relationship with Harry. “Even now I can’t go out to eat with friends,” Meghan said.
Kate made Meghan cry
She was unprepared for her life as royalty. “I came in naively because I grew up with little knowledge of the royal family,” said the Native American. “What you know about royalty, you know from fairy tales,” Meghan said. “So it’s easy to have an image that is so far from reality.” In the years in court it was difficult: “Perception and reality are two very different things and they judge you by your perception, but you live reality,” Meghan said.
Contrary to the expectations of the British press, Meghan refrained from personal attacks on the royal family. The queen took great care of her, says the duchess. He also spoke positively about his sister-in-law, Prince William’s wife. Duchess Kate is a “good person”. However, Meghan did refer to an incident with her sister-in-law Kate prior to her wedding to Harry in May 2018. At the time, tabloid media widely reported that Meghan made Kate cry over this incident.
“The opposite was true,” said the Duchess of Sussex. In fact, Kate was “upset about something”, but then she saw her misstep and apologized for it. “Everyone at the institution knew about it,” Meghan said, referring to the royal family. This was “the beginning of a real murder of character” for her and a “turning point” in her relationship with the royal family, Meghan said.
The duchess also revealed that they had married on a small scale three days before their royal wedding in May 2018. “No one knows, but we called the archbishop,” Meghan said. “The wedding vows hanging framed in our room are just the two of us in the garden with the Archbishop of Canterbury,” Meghan said.
Harry felt abandoned by Charles
The 39-year-old and Prince Harry, who is three years his junior, left their royal duties about a year ago and moved into Meghan’s home in the United States with their son Archie, who will turn two in May. Meanwhile, the couple is expecting a second child, it will be a girl, as the two reported in the interview. “Having a boy and a girl, what more could you ask for?” Harry said. The two wanted to leave him with two children, they said. They expected the baby in summer.
In the double interview, Prince Harry expressed his disappointment for his father, Prince Charles. He’s “really disappointed” in him, the 36-year-old said. “He’s been through something similar. He knows what pain feels like,” Harry said of his, and his father’s, struggles with royalty and the British press. Before Harry and Meghan left the UK, Charles even stopped taking their calls. But he will “always love” his father, Harry said.
Harry can no longer depend on financial aid from the royal family and payments were halted in early 2020. “But I have what my mother left me. And without that we couldn’t have done it,” Harry said. He felt the “presence” of his mother, Princess Diana, during troubles with her family. It was as if he saw his situation coming.
