[ad_1]
The corona pandemic is also a mental stress test, especially now before Christmas. Particularly affected: single elderly. Christian kretschmer about loneliness and what helps to combat it.
By Christian Kretschmer, SWR
Loneliness – For a long time, this was just a word to Marianne Dörfler and not a feeling that bothered her. “I’ve always been very active until the end, I enjoyed going to concerts and meeting friends from my choir,” said the 83-year-old woman, who actually has a different name and does not want her name published. Dörfler has lived alone in Mainz since the death of her partner twelve years ago. Alone, that currently also means lonely: “Right now I’m devastated. Every morning I tell myself: I can do it. But it’s not easy.”
He was able to meet his two daughters in the garden until the fall. This is no longer an option in winter due to the cold. “The really bad times are just beginning,” says Dörfler. Christmas is not a ray of hope either: if the daughters are coming, how many people can celebrate together, she does not know: “The political coming and going is stressful.” Also, there is the fear of infection: “I never know: will it be the last Christmas for me?”
Contact by phone
The 83-year-old gets help from Luna Fiedler. The 23-year-old psychologist is Diakonie’s main representative and thus provides psychological support to seven seniors aged 83-101. In normal times, she comes for coffee. Since November, he has only been able to keep in touch by phone. “It works very well. Recently, a gentleman played me his favorite records on the phone for an hour,” says Fiedler. Read books to others. But Fiedler also reports on the dilemma many older people face: Would you rather be alone and reasonably safe from infection or in company and at risk of infection? “This dichotomy is very stressful,” he says.
This can also be seen from the numbers provided for telephone counseling. Before the pandemic, there were about 2,500 phone calls a day across the country, according to the network. During the first lockdown in spring, there were over 3000, and more recently around 2850, and the trend is increasing. The number of consultations per chat almost doubled compared to 2019. One of the dominant themes in spring and winter: loneliness combined with fear. One in four people seeking help feels lonely.
Old, young, mentally ill …
Experts such as Dietrich Munz, president of the Federal Chamber of Psychotherapists, also warn of the consequences of loneliness. Older and single people are particularly affected, but also younger people: “We know that the situation is very stressful for young people, for example, because they develop together in their peer group, that is, with their peers, That is difficult in the current circumstances. “Munz highlights another group: people with mental illness. “Already in the first confinement it was clear that many had to abandon their personal strategies to deal with their illness. Finding psychological relief has become much more difficult.”
To understand what that means, it helps to talk to people like Manuel Bix. The 28-year-old is studying social work in Mainz and is about to complete his bachelor’s degree. He says he has been depressed since childhood. “It’s not so much the contact restrictions that weigh on me,” he says. “Rather, it’s the worry that I might fall into a hole because the structure of the day will break down.” This includes, for example, a visit to a counseling cafe or group therapy with other affected people.
The daily structure gives stability
At least during the time between Christmas and New Years, you will lack these fixed points. The therapist can only be contacted in an emergency; the advisory cafe is temporarily closed, as it did in the spring due to the closure. “The lack of structure will mean that I will indulge my thoughts even more,” Bix fears. “What adds to Christmas is the melancholy of that time,” because he hardly has contact with his family. The counseling cafe tries to help. For example, with a surprise package that includes a calendar for the holidays, with craft tips and information about online events, a little wait in an exceptional situation.
“I advise everyone to maintain their daily structure and not to withdraw,” says psychotherapist Munz for the future. Sport also has a psychological stabilizing effect. It’s important to stay in touch with friends and family and to make appointments, for example, even if it’s just for a phone call. “Family members need to make sure they don’t especially forget the single elderly,” Munz says.
Marianne Dörfler, the elderly woman from Mainz, has found her own strategy to cope with the isolation a little better: go for a walk, every day, despite the pain. Regular conversations on the phone, with her family, and with Luna Fiedler also help her. “The phone is my savior,” he says.
