“I can’t watch this video if you’re easily triggered,” Camry said before explaining about addiction, depression and suicide.
YouTuber Camerin Clifford posted a nearly 37-minute video in which she revealed how, earlier this month, 19-year-old Landon Clifford died.
Cameron, who has 1.35 million subscribers to Cam and the Fame YouTube channel, first announced that Landon had died earlier this week, but initially shared no details except to confirm he was in a coma before his death.
In a video shared on her channel on Thursday, which has already been viewed more than 1.1 million times, Clifford hanged herself on August 13th, shedding tears at her husband’s struggle with anxiety, frustration and ADHD before explaining how she found him in his garage. .
“It’s definitely going to be the toughest video ever,” he began. “Clearly it took a while to get the initial shock and just gather my feelings and thoughts and feel like I’m ready to tell her story. This is a very important story and it’s my job to tell it. Not an easy story. “
While Camry said she has always been open with anxiety and frustration from her fights, Landon will “rarely” share it with anyone, including her family or friends.
“Behind the scenes, he was always just going through his stuff.” “As far as I know he has mental health problems.”
According to Cameron, she became frustrated when Landon became pregnant with the couple’s second child, Delilah – although she did not believe there was a connection between the baby and her mental health.
“A variety of factors contributed to the fact that his mental health was not good,” he said, explaining he went to a psychiatrist and went back to ADHD medication, anti-depressants and anxiety meds.
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Camry said her husband “did the right thing” by seeking help, but as the mades began to abuse her, she fell into disrepair. “It fell into a hole,” she said, “very undesirable” calling it a “very vicious cycle”.
When their second daughter was born, they were both “really happy” for a short time, but when they stopped having two children “it made us really difficult”. The two decided to take a break from YouTube – Camry called him “mentally exhausted” and left the videos looking happy – and he went to live with his family to get rid of drugs and work on his mental health. .
When they met again and went into a healthy routine they started to see things. But, on August 13, everything changed.
While Landon “seemed to have had a good day,” Cameron could say that evening “something was wrong.” “He said he’s sorry for anything he did to me. He was really hard on me when I was pregnant and he was heavy on the addict and he wasn’t himself during that time and he apologized to me for everything.” ” Said.
“I can say he’s blaming himself too much. I talked to him, I told him I loved him and I forgave him and now things are different,” she continued. “I hugged him, kissed him and I told him I love him and he’s fine and whatever he does, then I’ll always love him and come here for him. After that he felt fine.”
Land said he was going to take a break – which was part of his daily routine – but he didn’t return even after 30 minutes. Camry said she searched the whole house for him, but couldn’t find him anywhere.
“Then I went to the garage and when I opened the garage I saw him, he hung himself and he didn’t look alive,” he said. “It was so pale and I was so shocked. It took me a while to figure out what really happened. I ran to the kitchen, I grabbed the knife and I cut it.”
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She called 9-1-1, but did not feel the pulse. “At that moment I knew he was gone,” he said. “There are no words to describe how I felt at the time.”
Paramedics were able to get a pulse and brought him to the hospital, where he remained in a coma and was declared brindled. Cameron and her family then said their goodbyes. Before his death, Land decided to donate his organs – Camry said, “even in death he cared for others.”
“There was no note, no explanation, but I know him very well. I never really know his answer, but I know Landon and I know he didn’t think rationally.” “He’s a very impulsive person and he does things without thinking. I feel guilty about how everything went last year and I think he just felt like a burden and we’d be better off without him. , Which is so far. From the truth. “
“I know that if he had thought about this, he would have thought about the fact that I could find him and he would have thought about the harm he has done to me and he would have thought about the growing daughters.” “She wouldn’t have done it if she’d thought more of him, because he’s such a loving, compassionate person.” The last thing he wants is for any of us to feel this way. “
Camry said she was telling the story so people could hear from there “what happens next” someone takes her life.
“I know, you take care of your loved ones, I know Lando did it and you need to think about it before you think about who you are looking for.” “Think about everyone who loves you.”
“He had a lot more life to live.”
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Get help if you or someone you know is struggling with depression or has thought of hurting yourself or taking your own life. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) 24/7 Free of charge, for those in need of confidential assistance.
