It’s the most bizarre TV show since “Tiger King.”
The Democratic National Convention kicked off Monday night with all the glamor and excitement of a Zoom conference. The home shopping network produces more dynamic programming and is much better at printing products.
Incredibly, former “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria Bastón served as host. Longoria Bastón wore a white sleeveless cloak and a permanent expression of tears and repeatedly shouted the theme of the convention, “We the people.”
She should have required a script doctor.
“YOU are the ‘we’ in ‘we the people,'” she said.
Also: “‘We the people’ means all people, even those with whom we may disagree.”
Social study class of the fourth grade is more versatile and less offensive.
Once upon a time, a trusted American only identified as Eric (avoid that pitchfork mob, Eric!) Spoke to us about what looked like a safe room, clinging to what looked like a cocktail because he apologized for voting for Trump. Eric informed us that unlike Trump, Biden has a platform that includes “unity”.
It was the only moment of comedy of the night.
They say that politics is Hollywood for domestic people. How better to hammer this house than this virtual convention, by seeing our elected officials in intoxicated institutions: the kitchen Senator Catherine Cortez Mastro gave her address of is something that even the poorest “House Hunters” couple would not have (that white devices!). Or Kirsten Gillibrand’s sad, spartan office slash living room – where’s the heathen? The optics? Just where does this pulse spend their lobbyist money?
The virus is the thing that in any case slowly killed stars – cinemas, shopping, for-profit colleges.
Add political conventions, and possibly Joe Biden’s presidential hope, to that list.
Not even Andrew Cuomo – who became ‘must-see TV’ for New Yorkers at the height of the pandemic, greets us with a possible tipping ring, musings on his daughter’s friend, the shoe COVID mountain you ‘ t would not qualify for a scientific fair – could save the night. It still could not drag Bruce Springsteen and his 11/11 national anthem “The Rising.”
Nothing, not even De Baas, could pass the dead air here.
What brain trust this non-event produced kept the most charismatic, admired person in the party, Michelle Obama, for the last time. The Dems must have dropped Michelle O’s pre-taped speech online and called it a day. Who, but the supreme masochist would have spent those grim, pedagogical two hours to see someone they could see the next day without pain?
“I know a lot of people right now don’t want to vote in a political convention,” Obama said. “Believe me, I get that.”
Oh, Michelle. You have no idea.
.
