Trevor Noah
On Tuesday’s Daily Show, Trevor Noah broke down the American school reopening trap with a growing number of coronavirus cases in various states. Coronavirus generally doesn’t seriously affect children, but the question is, according to Noah: “Can they become adorable super-separators that affect teachers, staff, and their families at home?”
Early studies in South Korea suggest yes: Children under the age of 10 transmit the virus at about half the frequency of adults, but children 10 to 19 years transmit it at the same rate, which “really it’s not good, “Noah said, though” I don’t think any of this should surprise anyone. Like, I’m not a scientist, but of course teens can spread the coronavirus everywhere. Just look at how they spread the rumors. “
The daily show
(@TheDailyShow)We all want to reopen schools, but coronavirus is like “Baby Shark”. It cannot harm children, but it will destroy the lives of adults. pic.twitter.com/mUOJe3M0ls
July 22, 2020
“Clearly, if the children go back to school, there is a good chance that the virus will spread further,” Noah continued. “Which means that Americans have two options: 1) immediately dedicate massive resources to helping schools implement safety regimes so that children can be protected, evaluated, and monitored, or 2) they don’t.”
Several states are heading toward option two; Missouri Governor Mike Parson, for example, said children in his state should go back to school because “if they get Covid-19, what they will do, and they will do it when they go to school, they won’t go to hospitals.” . “
Parson is not mistaken that children who get coronavirus require hospitalization very rarely, Noah said, “but what he seems to be forgetting is that, unless all these children live in Neverland, they will go home to adults.” Which is not good, because you see, the coronavirus is like a baby shark: it cannot harm children, but it will destroy the lives of adults. “
Without the virus under control, he added, schools will become “an Amazon fulfillment center for coronavirus: it starts at a centralized location and in a couple of days it is personally delivered to everyone’s home.”
So, “until these problems are resolved, most parents in the United States are caught between a rock and a difficult place,” Noah said. “Why do you do? Do you keep your kids at home, teach them yourself, and eventually go crazy? Or do you take risks, send them to school and play with your family’s health?
Stephen Colbert
“Trump has been so busy hiding the response to the coronavirus that he forgot his true passion project: demonizing immigrants,” said Stephen Colbert on the Late Show. But on Tuesday, Trump went back to “the basics” and issued an executive order that prohibits the US census from counting undocumented immigrants.
The order is “completely unconstitutional,” Colbert said. Congress, not the president, is empowered by the constitution to carry out the “actual enumeration of the country’s population,” but that does not seem to matter. “Trump does not take no from the country’s constitution, he just takes it for the preamble,” Colbert said impatiently.
“Speaking of unconstitutional,” he continued, unnamed federal agents are still in Portland, Oregon, firing tear gas and flash grenades at protesters after days of making unwarranted arrests of protesters in unmarked vehicles. “Or, as Trump said, ‘We are trying to help Portland, not hurt him,'” Colbert said.
“Do you want to help the people of Portland? Don’t send thugs to rally them! Colbert replied. “You buy your organic fair trade macramé.”
The deployment of federal agents in Portland has sparked outrage and disbelief; Earlier this week, Oregon Governor Kate Brown said: “We cannot allow the secret police to kidnap people in vehicles without identification.” I can’t believe I have to say that to the President of the United States. “
“Really? Can’t you believe that? Colbert replied.” Because it’s just one of a long list of things you shouldn’t have to say to the President of the United States, like: ‘Frederick Douglass is dead,’ ‘ Don’t inject bleach ‘and’ You can’t go out with your daughter. “
Seth Meyers
And late at night, Seth Meyers referenced Trump’s photo of himself wearing a mask, which he tweeted with the quote: “Many people say it is patriotic to wear a face mask when you cannot socially distance yourself.”
“Oh, is that why you finally wear one? Or is it because many people say they are going to vote for Joe Biden, “Meyers replied.
Trump also tweeted about his disastrous interview with Fox News presenter Chris Wallace over the weekend, saying: “We may have set a record for doing that interview in the heat, it was 100 degrees, which made things very interesting. “
“A temperature of 100 degrees,” Meyers said, “or as Trump calls it: ‘healthy enough to go to school.'”
Finally, the White House announced this week that Trump will resume his daily briefings on the coronavirus. “Oh man, I hate when a show comes back after a long break and I can’t remember any of the plots,” said Meyers, although it was easy for him to remember the main characters: Trump is “the villain,” Mike Pence is ” the Butler …?” and Dr. Anthony Fauci is “the guy who should have had a spin-off by now, but he’s stuck here and he’s only got like three lines per episode.”
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