All told, Valencian estimated that her panchayats would have close contact with 20 to 30 other people during the week – not counting the interactions with strangers on planes, in stadiums and around the city.
This year, however, the family will see almost no one. Because they are not even planning to leave home.
The reason for this change in plans: Kovid-19 epidemic. Like many people, Valencian said she was not at risk of getting the virus or could give it to people she chose. She does not want to contribute to other cases in her community.
“We choose to be at home for the safety of ourselves, our family and friends and the community at large,” he said via email. “Without the Kovid epidemic, our plans would not have changed.”
Valencian’s concerns have been shared by many others. Across the country, many people find this U.S. Responding to the epidemic by making similar decisions about the holiday. None of these choices are easy, and managing feelings about leaving the annual family Thanksgiving traditions can be difficult. Communicating your decision clearly and thoughtfully can be the most difficult task.
Take note of the rules
The CDC notes that long, indoor gatherings with a lot of people are more at risk than short, outdoor shingles with a few people of choice.
Second factor: the number and rate of Covid-19 cases in the celebration community.
The network of health care providers serving New York City, founder and chairman of Somos Community Care, Dr. Ramon Tallaj said that where this number is increasing, conventions bring more potential risk with them.
“You have to be smart,” Tallj said, which helped implement treatment protocols across the city when Spring New was a New York coveted hotspot. “If cases are on the rise in your area, don’t do it. If you’re going to celebrate in a small apartment with a lot of people, don’t do it. We’ve pushed a lot of things forward and this shouldn’t be any different really. , What is the second year? “
Focus on your safety
If you choose to bail out the tradition this year, etiquette experts say it’s a good idea to express your choice in person.
The use of “eye statements” or statements that begin with a first person pronoun makes it clear to a loved one that they have nothing to do with your decision, courtesy and communication and communication and simply said Lady’s owner Kianga Kelly-Crowley. Consulting company in Wichita, Kansas.
“It’s okay to say ‘I prefer not to come with everyone,’ or ‘I’m sorry but we won’t be able to attend this year,'” he said. “Take responsibility for your decision. You own it. Speak the truth with your family members. Saying you’re focusing on your safety is properly acceptable and will be at home instead.”
The etiquette expert said she focused on explaining her decisions in the event of a potential risk – nothing else. This approach has made it easier for him to communicate unpleasant news, he noted.
“When you share your feelings about risk – ‘I don’t want to be a virus spreader and put others at risk’ – said the San Francisco-based Gr based Tse.” This is the easiest thing to ever be there. It’s not about you. It’s about others and what you can do for them. “
Managing Emotions
That said, families are complex, and changing old traditions can inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings.
Sherman Regensberg, a psychiatrist in Northport, New York, said it is surprisingly uncomfortable to say “no, thank you” to people with whom you generally have a history of agreeing.
She noted that charged interactions with family members can lead to other conflicts or cause serious internal pressures – both of which can be difficult to navigate.
Still, she said, especially when it comes to your own health, you must speak your mind.
“Scenes like this rarely get the right answer,” Regensberg said. “You have to do what you feel best to do, follow your heart, be respectful in doing so. But by refusing the invitation, you can remove that family member for years.”
While it is quite common for you to feel sad about rejecting Thanksgiving plans, Regensberg said the guilt in this case represents something else.
“You admit that you are sad and frustrated, but if you feel guilty, you may feel angry that your loved one does not respect your wishes.” “Usually it feels like a crime when you’ve done something you probably shouldn’t do. In this case, there’s nothing wrong with refusing an invitation, so there should be no guilt.”
Giving thanks differently
There are plenty of options to join family members for a traditional Thanksgiving celebration this year. If you are interested in following other options, you may find something that works for everyone.
Following in the footsteps of most workplaces and embracing a virtual holiday is probably the easiest bunch.
Here, a family member can take on the role of party organizer and arrange a meeting, send out invitations and serve as a “host” for a live event. At the basic level, participants can perform virtual shindig during their respective dinners, so everyone feels like they are sitting at a table together.
For a more sophisticated approach, Kianganga Kelly-Crowley suggested pre-packaged meals to be shared in advance, so everyone is eating the same thing at the same time every Zoom. As a way to tell his usual holiday co-celebrities “we’re thinking about you”, Grgr said he’s buying the perfect Thanksgiving dinner from a supermarket in his area.
As Talaj suggests, one can also work individually – as long as the event takes place outside and all parties wear face masks, include a physical distance of at least 6 feet and practice good hand hygiene.
To pave the way for such gatherings, clinical psychologist Angela Voldrop said it may be necessary to ask some pointed questions about how well they are providing safety to family members. Waddrop compares this questionnaire to a similar type of interview that a new sexual partner offers.
Some of these questions include: How often have you come into close contact with people outside your home? To what extent can you maintain a safe distance from others by wearing facial ingots when you are out? Where have you traveled outside of your immediate neighborhood in the past month?
She added that those important loved ones understand why you ask.
“It’s like visiting about where they were and who they slept with,” said San Francisco-based Wal Ladrup. “We can’t control each other, but we have our right to ask – especially during an epidemic.”
Matt Villano Is a writer and editor based in Northern California. He is looking forward to a normal Thanksgiving at home.
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