In a way, the first episode of tell me why wants to convince you that people are not as bad as you think. It’s a strange message for me, a transman playing a video game, to hear – both video games and the people around them may be less as I think, and I am constant for some transgrap of violent plotline. tell me why pulls off the impressive performance to show everyone – both the trans-protagonist and the people who hurt him – as complicated and do their best, without forgetting where they all fall short. It’s a supernatural story that takes place in the Alaskan countryside, almost as far from my own life as I can imagine, but sometimes it felt almost too real.
tell me why is the latest episodic game from Dontnod, developers of the Life is strange match. It has all the characteristics of that series: supernatural powers, point-and-click roots, and choices that influence the story. It has a much shorter cover than those games, with its first episode launching today for Xbox and PC, and its second and third episodes coming out in the next two weeks. Publisher Xbox Game Studios provided Kotaku with a copy of the full game, but it felt more natural to play and write about it at the same pace as other players would.
You play as twins Alyson and Tyler Ronan, who grew up in the city of Delos Crossing, Alaska. When the game begins in 2015, Tyler left the juvenile detention-like Fireweed, where he has spent the past 10 years as a resident and then as a mentor for other problem children. Alyson picks him up so they can return to Delos Crossing to sell their late mother’s house, where they experienced a traumatic event as children. They agree that their childhood is uplifting, and they are not wrong, but they soon find some information that casts doubt on their memories of their past, and show them new sides of their mother. The couple visits the people and places they grew up with, looking for answers.
You do this by clicking on interactive nodes in the environment or by talking to characters and choosing between dialog options. The twins can communicate telepathically, and when they return to Delos Crossing, they develop a new power: the ability to see memories, pictured as glittering ghosts, leading the game with flashing lights and controller clutter. You need to follow these memories to find hidden objects or get information that will help you in conversations with other characters. In some cases, the memories of Tyler and Alyson are conflicting – was her mother crazy in that fight in the store 10 years ago, or was her boyfriend? – and you can choose which canon is. These choices affect the relationship of the twins and the action of the game. At the end of the episode, you will see a breakdown of how your picks stack up against other players, and you will get a feel for their effects.
The game sometimes felt a little janky on my PC; the characters can steer stiffly, and I sometimes had trouble selecting nodes with my controller. Meanwhile, the supernatural gameplay strikes me a bit: it was introduced so suddenly and so early in learning about the characters and their past that it felt a bit like a nuisance. The characters’ ability to see memories is revealed as a new element of their simultaneously introduced psychic link, and both are so quickly surrounded to continue with the story that I joked a bit. But I’m used to it, and I soon understand how essential it is to play the game. It’s not personally my favorite element of the gameplay, especially as the realistic elements of the game are so rich, but fans of Life is strange can have an easier time with it.
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I found the most compelling part of tell me why to be realism, including the rural Alaskan institution. On the ferry to Delos Crossing, Tyler and Alyson talk about bear safety and potlatches from their indigenous neighbors. There are posters for dog slides, and how mining affects the fish population, people depend on for work and survival. Dontnod worked with Tlingit artists and consultants in making Delos Crossing, and these elements are present without the game going out of its way to explain them to players, like me, who may not be familiar. Delos Crossing feels like a real city, with shared landmarks and things that everyone knows about everyone else, making Tyler’s return trip there much more.
When that first became apparent tell me why would have a trans-guy protagonist, I was skeptical. I have spent almost 20 years as a transman, doing trans theater and activism, teaching trans writers and publishing house trans fiction. I thought a many about how transfer rates are told and how they can be improved. This has, perhaps unfortunately, exhausted some of my patience for transference; I would rather spend my time on stories of and for trans people than see elements of my life that were told to me by game studios. When Dontnod published a sort content warning For the game, which reassured players that it would not involve the use of Tyler’s birth name, nor any violence against him or other vicious characters, I was both appreciative of it and rolled my eyes. On the one hand, it was good information to know, especially after the pain of many trans players from The last of our part 2 felt blindsided by the game’s traumatic transfer line. On the other hand, it worried me that the game would lean back from telling a fully realized story out of fear of offending people, treating the trans character with kid gloves.
Despite my fears, tell me why won me over completely for how it tells Tyler’s story. His transcendence is introduced early in the game by things in his room – a book on healthy masculinity for trans boys (which I would love to read, please), a poster for a trans-straight rally, his calendar marked with his testosterone shot every week. Tyler talks about being easily trans; he is past the stage of “inventing his gender” and exists simply as a transman, something we rarely see in video games. Alyson never hesitates when he introduces himself as her brother, even to people they could both grow up with.
tell me why portrays the particular trans horror of returning to your hometown after you have been overwhelmed with nuance and honesty. As a twin myself, I have been to countless times with “you think of my brother”, followed by the silent release of a person you have known since you were little, revisiting how they feel before your eyes about you. It is frightening and painful to return to a place that you think is close to you, only to feel that you have given up that claim because you grew up to be different than people expect. The residents of Delos Crossing wrestle in various ways with Tyler’s transition: an early encounter with Sam, a friend of her mother’s, Sam wondered, “You look like a real man,” in the very way so many old friends have committed to me, as a kind of well-intentioned but ignorant compliment. Tyler stands on his ground, and the two argue a little. “You have to excuse our old boys,” excuses Sam, and Tyler says, “I really do not.” Sam protests, “Your kids are changing the rules all the time. You can not expect us to keep up. ”
I felt for Sam at this moment, as I felt for all the residents of Delis Crossing. Conflict over Tyler trans is an important feature of tell me whyThe main plot, but in the interactions of the first episode, people react in complicated, realistic ways. I could see how hard they were all trying, how carefully they treaded, not only seeing an overwhelmed Tyler for the first time, but also for the first time since the city-dwelling event that sent him away. I have related so much to Tyler’s struggle to be generous to her without compromising himself in the process. When Alyson introduced Tyler to her best friend Michael, a foreign Tlingit man who wants to be a chef, I not only developed a direct crush on him, but felt relieved that Tyler had found someone in town where ” t he could connect with. tell me why does not cut her angry cis-signs a blow, but it uses her reactions to make broader points about how people behave, when they should or how they can stay connected. It shows messy relationships bound by history and place, and the first episode leaves room for the twins’ anger at her mother, while acknowledging that her life was bigger than just what she was experiencing.
When tell me why was announced first, I said on Twitter that representation alone does not mean much to me. But when Tyler first appeared on screen – not just a character of the trans guy who, like me, is well into his transition, but someone I knew trans went into – he remembered it all my arrogant suspicion. Tyler is voiced by transactor August Aiden Black; maybe it’s the pandemic loneliness that speaks, but hearing another transman’s voice through my headphones made me uncharacteristically upset. I often struggle with the way I get older trans guy can make me invisible to other trans and queer people; as I sometimes say, the fact that other people normally cannot “tell” me that I am trans does not make me any less trans. Feeling this way is often lonely, which I do not like to admit, because it is much more important problems that trans-communities have, and because I will not complain about that now, I am now only slightly worried when I use a public toilet instead of fearing for my life. But it felt less lonely to see and hear another transgender like me in a video game, even when his clichéd trans guy interrupted and shrugged facial hair made me feel old in comparison.
tell me whyThe first episode of ‘Home’, took me about three hours to play, and I had to stop after the surprising end of the episode to take in the whole experience. The events of the first episode were not so intense, but they brought back so many memories of my own life and experiences that I needed them for a while. I leaned back in my chair and thought of my mother and sister, and the painful path we have traveled to have the often restless relationship we have now. I will not say that the game made me take its side of our past and present disagreements, but it made me think how all that complicated, difficult stuff is part of a trans life that I worked hard to create. I am grateful to have this special experience of my life, even if it does a lot. I’m glad to see how Tyler navigates his own version of it tell me why Goes on.
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