Added to your list of concerns: Death.
“How horrible is it that one of the things on the list is to have a plan for students and teachers to die?” Denise Bradford, a teacher in Orange County, California’s Saddleback Valley Unified School District, told CNN.
Bradford is not alone: Many teachers CNN spoke to, some who asked not to be named out of fear of the repercussions of their school districts, said they are preparing for the worst this fall. (CNN agreed to use pseudonyms for some of the teachers to protect their identities.)
All of the teachers interviewed shared a similar sentiment: They miss their students and teach in person, but are concerned about their health if they return to classrooms amid the pandemic.
“We miss our children so much,” Bradford told CNN’s Brianna Keilar. “We stay up at night wondering if they are okay.”
Preparing your wills
Louise, a special education teacher in another state where Covid-19 is emerging, told CNN that she is preparing a will and a living will. She is also looking for supplemental life insurance as she prepares to return to the classroom next month.
“It is probably time for him to have something in place,” Louise said of her will, “and there is nothing like a pandemic to compel him to do all of that.”
Louise said other teachers in her area also know little about what protocols are planned when schools open in her district. What they have heard will not be done has some worried enough to prepare for the worst case scenario.
Eleeza, a high school teacher in the same district, told CNN that she is updating her will and setting up a trust for her 19-year-old high-risk and disabled son.
She is also struggling with a living will for her son, for whom she has legal guardianship, along with her husband and one other person outside the home.
“What does a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) look like with three guardians?” Eleeza asked. “We all have to agree.”
Amy Forehand, a first-grade teacher who was comfortable going to the registry with her full name but not the name or location of her school, said finding out how much supplemental life insurance is a priority this weekend.
“How are we in the middle of a pandemic, and am I going to enter this germ factory, and we don’t have a will?” she said, talking about her and her husband.
A benefit of supplemental life insurance is access to legal help to prepare a will, at no additional cost, he said.
‘Extreme anxiety for death’
The professors CNN spoke to described themselves as planners, but said they need to know what to plan for.
“I have extreme anxiety about death,” said Forehand, crying. “I like being in control. That scares me, because I’m not in control.”
Some teachers feel more vulnerable to the coronavirus because they are older or have health problems.
Although her age does not place her in a high-risk group, Forehand said she has moderate to severe asthma.
“I don’t take risks,” he said. “It’s not something you want to bet on.”
Eleeza, who has medical conditions that put her at risk of serious illness or death if she gets the virus, said she has not been in any building other than her home since March 13.
Next month, she will be in a school that typically has 2,000 students and hundreds of staff members in a building that she says is poorly ventilated. Her classrooms typically have 35 to 38 students at any one time, she said, and she is expected to clean each computer, each student uses one, between classes.
“To do that, I have to expose myself to high contact areas,” he said.
Louise echoed these concerns. With the coronavirus, “there are many unknowns,” she said, “and I am a planner.”
“So my anxiety is very high, because I’m afraid I’m going to take him home with my family. Although I’m wearing masks, using hand sanitizer, I feel like we’re being thrown into it.”
Teachers have been posting group comments on social media about the preparation of their wills and enrolling in supplemental life insurance as local Covid-19 cases continue to rise, Louise said.
“It was like, this is like real,” he said. “Maybe this is something I should be doing.”
Louise began filling out online forms for a will, and a neighbor, who is a lawyer, offered to review it before sending it. But you may end up going to an attorney to do the whole process, just to be safe. You are also urging your partner to obtain a will.
“God forbid, I bring him home,” he said.
Thoughts of quitting smoking
In addition to anxiety about the possibility of contracting the virus, many of the teachers expressed sadness and anger at the overall situation.
“I never would have thought, when I became a teacher,” said Louise, “I would need a will to go back to work.”
Interviewees said they would prefer digital learning, as school districts near them have opted for reopening.
“How bad does it have to be before we decide to fully go to virtual learning?” Louise asked.
Some have thought about quitting smoking, but worry about the financial repercussions of taking a break.
Eleeza said she cannot afford to quit her job, that “every choice I make affects” her son’s future.
“We have to finance his trust for the rest of his life,” he said.
Forehand said he thought about taking a break from teaching: You can do it for a year, without paying, and keep your job. His mother asks him to resign, almost daily, he said.
“She literally begged me,” he said.
Still, he said it is a job he loves, and he feels he needs to be there out of solidarity with his co-workers.
But, Forehand said, there are those moments when “you are looking at your coworkers and thinking: some of us may not live.”
CNN’s Dakin Andone contributed to this report.
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