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For almost a year we have maintained a physical distance. We persevere and persevere. But we can’t hold back, even though that’s exactly what a lot of people need right now.
A pat on the arm can make someone feel seen.
That physical contact is important to humans is a known fact, but most of us don’t think about how much we use physical proximity and touch in common cases, when it is not a pandemic.
– Touch and closeness are much more than hugs. For example, you put your hand on someone’s shoulder to emphasize something and show that you are there, says Helena Backlund Wasling, a neurophysiology researcher at Sahlgrenska Academy.
Investigate the brain and the mechanisms of touch and social interaction. Without the ability to touch, we feel we are at a disadvantage in the way we communicate, he says.
– Touch also makes us feel more secure and is more likely to help us. It makes us more generous and is very important for building relationships.
For Annika Lindström, 39, the lack of physical proximity has become noticeable during the fall, when she has been sitting at home and studying.
– I have no one to talk or hug during the day, so I feel like a hedgehog about my husband when he comes home.
She is frustrated that she cannot touch people like before.
– I can’t express myself as I usually do. You can say “I like you” but it is not the same as being able to hug or caress someone. Eat at one. And the person who needs a pat or a hug is left without and that is a sadness in itself.
For her, it became very concrete when a good friend lost a father.
– I sent a flower and it felt so stiff. It is not the same as going there and hugging. It gets so shallow and flat.
What happens when the physical touch is removed in social contexts for a long time is difficult to say.
– Maybe it will lead to insecurity towards other people, that you will be more on your guard, thinks Helena Backlund Wasling.
Physical contact affects our hormones, such as oxytocin, which has been shown to be important for the mother-child connection, Backlund Wasling explains. It affects our sense of confidence and has a calming effect.
– So it would have been really nice if people could pat a little more right now when so many are worried.
The lack of physical proximity affects everyone, but especially those who, for various reasons, such as age or illness, have had to isolate themselves and refrain from things that they had previously been able to do, such as picking up their grandchildren or going to the hairdresser. .
– When you look at what matters to us as human beings, what makes us get up in the morning, is that they need us, that someone is counting on us. When we exclude people from the social community, we expose them to pain, the brain reacts in the same way as with physical suffering and pain.
The feeling is one of our senses that is in direct contact with the outside world. When we take things in, we feel that they are real. The same goes for people who are not touched.
– If nobody welcomes us, we feel that we don’t really exist. You feel completely invisible, says Helena Backlund Wasling, who thinks we will see more clinical depressions in the wake of the pandemic.
– It is not our intention to be separated from each other in this way.
There is nothing to replace physical contact or the social effect of physical contact. But is there anything we can do to make ourselves and others feel good?
Helena Backlund Wasling says that we can try to think that we have just lost one mind and have to compensate with the others.
– If we can still be seen, even from a distance, be sure to meet your gaze so that the one we meet is really seen.
She also wants to take a hit to talk, and not least to listen.
– Today you can send an SMS or an email, a happy old man or a thumbs up. Instead, you can pick up the phone just to talk and hear how someone is doing. And listen and let them get to the point.
We can also take advantage of the opportunities of modern technology to see who we are talking to.
– When I see two people hugging, my brain reacts as if I received a hug myself.
– If you have a video call, you can give yourself a hug and put your arms over your arms and say “now give you a hug” and the person you are talking to can “hug you back”.
It is our mirror neurons that react, the same as infecting us with the laugh of a friend or begins to yawn when we see another yawn.
Annika Lindström hasn’t hugged her parents for a long time. But he has known them, from a distance.
– Then I’ve come to pat them on the hand. It is not the same as a hug, but seeing them and being close is a thousand times better than not even going there.
What happens in the body when it is touched?
All of our skin has receptors that respond to touch, two separate systems that respond simultaneously.
Some register purely physical aspects, such as a strong hug or a cold hand.
Then there are other receptors, so-called CT strings, which lead to other parts of the brain and give the emotional part of the tactile experience and make one feel safe or upset, for example.
Physical contact releases the hormone oxytocin, which leads, among other things, to greater calm, greater social interaction, and a decrease in blood pressure.
