Ursula Ekman: Sigge took her own life when she was 16

Spread knowledge about mental illness

Of: Malin Wigen

Published: September 16, 2020 kl. 12.07
Updated: September 16, 2020 kl. 12.29

They lived as a happy family.

– A friend said that if this can happen to your family, it can happen to anyone. She has had everything she needed, says Ursula Ekman.

She is talking about her son Sigge. The summer of 2012 was the last.

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Sigge, who lived with her parents and sister in Karlskoga, was going to start a technical line in high school and was not so comfortable with it.

– He got new classmates, so he was like most teenagers.

A week before classes started, Úrsula called her son, who was at home. She suggested that he might take a look at the math talks and get ready.

– With that we greet each other then. That was the last we said to each other.

Night came and neither Ursula nor Sigge’s father had seen Sigge or heard from him all day. No one knew where it was. Both his keys and his mobile phone remained at home and the moped and bicycle remained intact. They called the police. At 6 p.m. the search operation began. The search lasted several days. On the fourth day a chain of bald men was arranged in which 150 people participated, one of them was Sigge’s sister. Suddenly, Ursula heard her scream, she had found Sigge.

– He saw it near their old huts. We were completely desperate.

Left a goodbye letter

In one of Sigge’s pockets was a note with a code so they could enter his computer, where he wrote a farewell letter.

“I love you so much but I can’t be alone anymore. I sit here in front of the computer all day and half the time I don’t play because it’s no longer fun. I’m just looking at the screen because I have nothing else to do. I say no If someone wants to be with me because I can’t be with anyone. I don’t know what happened, but I feel safer on the computer. I don’t want to go to school because I know I won’t be able to because I’ve been sitting here in front of the computer all the time. time so I can’t do anything else. You don’t have to be sad about this because I know it’s been difficult for the past few years. I’ve wanted to do this since I was five years old and I don’t think it depends on how I’ve been treated at school. only real friend I had was xxx. Bye. “it said in the letter.

– We didn’t know he was feeling bad, we had no idea, says Ursula.

After the incident, he went through Sigge’s life on his head. Was there something they should have seen?

– With the results in hand, I can see all the signals that really existed. The week she took her own life she stopped eating and then she loved the food, and slept so much during the day. At the same time, it’s something teenagers do so it’s hard to see the difference in that moment. When I was alive, I thought it was teenage stuff. Now, in hindsight, the signs are clearer to me.

“I never had a chance to do anything”

Sigge had no friends. He had one in high school, but then he spent more time on the computer, constantly sitting and playing games, something he and Ursula fought over. Social contexts were difficult for him.

– If I only had one good friend, this would never have happened, I had no one to turn to.

He was a specialist in certain things and Ursula thinks he may have had a diagnosis.

– But it is not possible to diagnose someone who no longer exists. When I was very young, there was talk of investigating it for ADHD, but we never did. I can regret that today.

They will also never know if he suffered from mental illness while she thinks he should have. I wish he had said something about how he felt.

– I never had a chance to do anything. When we sat together, she could have said, “Mom, I feel bad.” But he did not. I can’t guess. If nobody says anything, think that everything is fine.

Created “Sigge’s Gift”

After Sigge’s death, everyone wanted to know what happened. It was then that a friend suggested to Úrsula that she give a lecture, so she wouldn’t have to tell it all over and over again. Said and done. 155 people gathered to hear Urusla speak about Sigge. And without asking, people donated money, in total there were 7,500 crowns that they wanted to put something significant.

– Then an idea was born in me. That was what I wanted to give back to the school, to the students who are good friends, who care about their worth and that of others.

The idea became “Sigge’s gift.” For the past seven years, he has been distributing a sum of money to students who have done the extra for their classmates, who are selected by teachers and curators. It has soon distributed half a million, thanks in part to the Karlskoga companies that donated money.

– It’s not that they don’t move you when it comes time to deliver Sigge’s gift, because they think it’s the best price you can get.

“He must live for those who live”

Ursula also continues to lecture on Sigge, mental illness, and bullying. For four years she has participated in the annual equal treatment day at a secondary school in Degerfors.

– A teacher warned me that students do not stay still and are not quiet, but you could hear a pin drop. So I feel that this has a purpose, it is necessary to talk about this. Some say that one should not talk about suicide, but I think the opposite.

Try to convey to students how important it is to talk to someone if you feel bad and that the feelings you have can be fleeting.

– Especially in high school, you have a lot of emotions inside of you. If you feel like you are having trouble, you should talk to someone you feel you trust. Otherwise it can go just as bad, if you just ignore it.

Thanks to the fact that the whole city closed, Úrsula has grown and has been able to move on, something she had to do.

– I have to live for those who really live, I also have a daughter and a husband, we have to continue living. Even though some days are heavy and I can feel damn, why would I run into these?

Here you can turn if you feel bad

► SOS alarm 112
In emergency situations or suicidal thoughts, always call 112.

► Mind Suicide Line 90101
Guideline for people with suicidal thoughts. Open from 06 to 24 every day. Tel: 90101.
Chat: chat.mind.se

► The 1177 care guide
Health advice and information on the closest psychiatric emergency service. Tel: 1177
www.1177.se

► Guardian priest
Tel: 112, every day from 9:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.
Svenskakyrkan.se/jourhavandeprast

► Friend on duty
Receive calls from children and young people up to 25 years of age. Chat hours from Monday to Friday from 6pm to 10pm, weekends from 2pm to 6pm.
jourhavandekompis.se

► Guard Companion
Tel: 08-702 16 80, every day at 06-21.

► Breeze, the rights of the child in society
Tel: 116 111. Every day from 2pm to 9pm and Monday to Friday from 9am to 12pm.
Adult phone for children: 0771-505050, Monday to Friday from 9 to 12
Chat, every day from 2pm to 9pm:
http://www.bris.se/?pageID=189

► Save the Children Helpline
Have you moved to Sweden? You’re young? Do you want to talk to someone? Save the Children’s helpline is in Arabic, Dari, Pashto, Somali, Tigrinya, Swedish and English. Also for parents.
Telephone: 0200-77 88 20. Every day from 15 to 18 hours.

► Spec – suicide prevention and survivor support
Tel: 020-18 18 00. Telephone call every day from 19-22.
spes.se

► Pratamera.nu
Receive counseling, support and treatment from specialists in mental illness. At Pratamera, you can quickly get help with your mood during chat, video, and therapy (CBT) programs from licensed psychologists and psychotherapists.
Free if you are under 20 years old; otherwise 250 SEK per visit (free card
Pratamera.nu

► Zero suicide
Fsuicide care and advice.
www.suicidezero.se/fakta-rad

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Published: September 16, 2020 kl. 12.07

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