“More and more people die and are buried alone”



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María Nestorzón is sitting in the back. To the sound of Benny Andersson’s Tröstevisa, funeral director Per Arne Hedin slowly walks to the coffin to read a couple of poems to say goodbye. Under the green blanket of the stretcher lies an old man who died in covid-19. It must be buried without the presence of family or friends. Maria has worked as a funeral contractor for more than twenty years and sees a growing trend toward loneliness. She feels that it is important to be present. Not just in the name of the profession.

More and more people die and are buried alone. I believe we serve an important role and represent everyone who has been close to this particular person. We say goodbye. It feels like a good homework.

In ordinary cases, when there are solitary funerals, María Nestorzón often does one for the last time, looking for an exit around the chapel in the hope that someone has shown up anyway.  But today it is completely empty.

In ordinary cases, when there are solitary funerals, María Nestorzón often does one for the last time, looking for an exit around the chapel in the hope that someone has shown up anyway. But today it is completely empty.

Photo: Paul Hansen

Funerals without relatives in situ is increasing in Sweden. 25 years ago, there were about 800 per year without any drawing or activity around the deceased. Today there are 12,000.

What if I die alone? How long before they find me? Who organizes the funeral? Ulf Lernéus, executive director of the Swedish Association of Funeral Directors, says that during the pandemic many inquiries come from single people and that the number of people buried completely alone has doubled in ten years.

– It takes longer and longer between death and funeral. The focus has shifted from the deceased to the family members. It is not the dead who do not have time. What does it say about a society in which death is no longer so important? What does it say about life?

Yellow roses, germinis and chrysanthemums.  Jonas Widigsson and Maria Nestorzon from the Funeral Home make sure the final details are adjusted before the ceremony begins.  The budget for solitary funerals is tight, but Maria knows that florist Sophie Enberg always does her best, even if the compensation is small.

Yellow roses, germinis and chrysanthemums. Jonas Widigsson and Maria Nestorzon from the Funeral Home make sure the final details are adjusted before the ceremony begins. The budget for solitary funerals is tight, but Maria knows that florist Sophie Enberg always does her best, even if the compensation is small.

Photo: Paul Hansen

When someone remains in a morgue, it is the responsibility of the municipality to ensure that the person is buried. In Stockholm, the unit of the Social Administration for the homeless, the real estate section, handles the practicalities. They look for relatives and they look for relatives, but if someone cannot be found, the person is buried alone. Ulrika Jernberg, the unit’s deputy director, says they do what they can to prevent it.

– If we do not find a family member or friend and we feel that you are completely silent about the deceased, sometimes we publish an obituary and hope that someone will see it. It’s sad that no one comes to the funeral and says goodbye.

When the government recently restrictions were announced on how many could meet in groups, there were large protests by individuals and denominations regarding funeral ceremonies. The government quickly adjusted the order and now allows up to twenty people.

Skogskyrkogården is the largest cemetery in Sweden.  The number of people completely buried without rituals or ceremonies was 800 25 years ago, today it is 12,000.

Skogskyrkogården is the largest cemetery in Sweden. The number of people completely buried without rites or ceremonies was 800 25 years ago, today it is 12,000.

Photo: Paul Hansen

Archbishop Antje Jackelén thinks the strong reaction shows that while funerals are considered private, they are also largely social events. She thinks that a time that rewards speed, mobility, and individuality easily underestimates the importance of the rite.

– You can say that how a civilization feels, you can read how we care for the dead. The rites are extremely central. They make time habitable because they have a robustness and repetition that provide clues and a language for the experiences that the rite embodies.

Just over 70 percent of those who died in the pandemic are people with elderly care. According to the latest statistics from the National Board of Health and Welfare, 5,325 people who received home care and lived in nursing homes died in covid-19.

The funeral director of Per Arne Hedin waits for silence before addressing the coffin.  The hymnals remain in their holders, the hymnbook on the wall is closed.  Today there are no hymns to transmit.  There are no words to read in community.

Per Arne Hedin funeral director waits for silence before approaching the coffin. The hymnals remain in their holders, the hymnbook on the wall is closed. Today there are no hymns to transmit. There are no words to read in community.

Photo: Paul Hansen

The Health Inspection and care recently reviewed the quality of care for the elderly and is very critical. All regions have seriously failed to care for the elderly. One in five had not even received an “individual assessment” of their medical needs from doctors. Family members testify to their despair over the loss of their loved ones. CEO Sofia Wallström spoke clearly when she released the report. “It’s important not to see this as numbers. It’s about people.”

Before the Christmas weekend, groups and organizations come together to face anxiety and loneliness. The Church of Sweden has its national priest on call 24 hours a day and also strengthens its local congregations. Archbishop Antje Jackelén sees that the church has an important role, especially in times of crisis, but calls for changes in the basic values ​​of society.

Jonas Widigsson places the blanket on the stretcher well and makes sure that the coffin is exactly on the catafalque.  The Chapel of Faith has a coffin elevator construction that goes down through the floor to the basement, where a caretaker meets and takes it further.

Jonas Widigsson places the blanket on the stretcher neatly and makes sure the coffin is exactly on the catafalque. The Chapel of Faith has a coffin elevator construction that goes down the floor to the basement, where a caretaker meets and takes it further.

Photo: Paul Hansen

– According to the World Values ​​Survey, a global research network, Sweden is the fifth worst country in the world in regards to older people. When we search for fault guilty in these times, the question should be asked of ourselves. After all, we are the ones who have failed. Why did it become like this for the elderly?

The Chapel of Faith is bathing In a warm glow María Nestorzón has lit with some effort the sixteen candles that the architect Gunnar Asplund placed on top of the south wall. A flower arrangement adorns the short side of the catafalque. Yellow roses, germinis and chrysanthemums. Funeral director Per Arne Hedin puts his right hand on the coffin. Bow down and then read a poem by Pär Lagerkvist, words that are recited at many funerals across the country.

“Once you will be one of those who lived a long time ago. The earth will remember you as it remembers the grass and the forests, the rotten leaves as the earth remembers and the mountains remember the winds. Your peace will be infinite like the sea. “

During the pandemic, death has become more present.  Archbishop Antje Jackelén places the issue in historical perspective.  “It was not better before, but in a society where high mortality is part of everyday life, I think there is a different relationship with death.  All the medical advances that have been made have contributed to the fact that death has become more of a medical problem.  The cause of death is then the failure of medicine: we die because medicine has failed, not because we are mortal.

During the pandemic, death has become more present. Archbishop Antje Jackelén places the issue in historical perspective. “It was not better before, but in a society where high mortality is part of everyday life, I think there is a different relationship with death. All the medical advances that have been made have contributed to the fact that death has become more of a medical problem. The cause of death is then the failure of medicine: we die because medicine has failed, not because we are mortal.

Photo: Paul Hansen

The coffin is lowered to the basement to be transported to the crematorium. A caretaker enters the staff room and begins to blow out the candles. Smells of coffee from the open door. Soon the candles will be re-lit, in two hours it is time for the next funeral.

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