[ad_1]
Published:
Updated:
For 13 years he kept his promise not to reveal the tragedy.
Now comes Frida Boisen’s book on Mother’s Day 2007.
The day his mother Rosita chose to kill herself.
Photo: ANDERS DEROS
Frida Boisen, back to the house where her mother lived and on Mother’s Day 2007 decided to take her own life. On September 21, the journalist’s book “Never say this” (Marcador) about the family tragedy will be published.
October 2019. The journalist Frida Boisen has booked three nights at a luxury hotel in Palma, so expensive that she would be ashamed to go home with a pending matter:
The beginning of a book script about the great family secret.
– I wrote and wrote and then sent it to four publishers with the question “What do you think?”
A year later he knows. Everyone wanted the gripping script about a family that slowly erupted and a mother who wrote a cruel farewell letter to her only daughter on her own day.
She blamed her.
– I have cried much more than ever since my mother passed away, but at the same time the book is still a relief and a relief, as if I had to go to therapy that never was, but together with the readers.
In “Never Tell This,” Frida Boisen writes about her upbringing in Skåne and on the West Coast, with a mother who tried at all costs to keep the family together and a father who repeatedly betrayed and eventually disappeared from their lives.
Still, the author obeyed his father, the successful Volvo boss, who advised him to keep quiet about his mother’s suicide with an overdose of sleeping pills.
– He said he would think of my daughter Tilda who was little. When she became a teenager, she could imagine doing things as a mother, she said. I think I was really scared of him, but it may not be the whole truth. He may have thought this was embarrassing, I suspect he also felt guilt and shame for his part in his mother’s life.
Photo: ANDERS DEROS
“It feels like I’ve lied about something very important,” says Frida Boisen.
Frida Boisen herself went to a psychologist, something that in her case turned out to be a mistake.
– I googled grief therapy and came to a serious psychology clinic, so I got this: move to silence and electric shocks! I didn’t think it was true.
Journalist with narrative dynamism describes that the secret of all the years has been like wearing a dark black stone on the chest.
– And it seems that I have lied about something very important, even for our own children. It’s not me. I’m not lying to you, I believe in the narrative.
In the book, he talks a lot with his late mother, and near the publication of the book, thoughts about her have intensified.
– Mother was a withdrawn person. The very idea of being on the cover of a book, for others to read about everything, would probably be a terrible nightmare for her. But I hope you understand that there is something good in this. If the book can only save one person, I’m happy.
Photo: ANDERS DEROS
Frida Boisen’s mother was prohibited from living with her daughter’s family for several years.
Frida and her mother were a unit throughout their upbringing, but over the years Rosita became increasingly erratic, attached, and critical, even with her now-adult daughter and her family.
The visits to them in Stockholm were plagued with outbursts, the phone calls of reproach, and in the end it became a vicious cycle in which Frida began to withdraw to contact her mother.
– For several years it was banned at home and my son Arvid hardly knew what it was like. Today we have two pictures of Mom. In part the image on the cover of the book, in part when we bathe and I sit in the bathtub. Now she is part of the family again, after all these years.
The forgiveness for the farewell letter depends on the daily form, explains Frida Boisen.
– It may not be my intention to feel guilty, but it’s hard to let go completely. I’m still sorry I didn’t call her that Mother’s Day and even more so I didn’t explain how much she meant.
More than anything, he regrets that at a time when his mother revealed the suicidal idea to him, she asked him never to say it again.
– I said “quiet”, like everyone else. I’m so sorry. Being silent is just a dead end. The only constructive thing is to count, to dare to speak of suicide.
150,000 Swedes have suicidal thoughts every year. Every six hours a person takes their own life, emphasizes the author.
– The risk of someone we know being affected is therefore quite great. You don’t have to solve people’s problems, but you can always show how important a person is. Isn’t it weird that you teach CPR in school, but not how to deal with when someone says they have suicidal thoughts?
Published:
