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They have been married for fifteen years and have two children together. She is improving her education while he has an office job. She describes her relationship with her husband as “safe and good.” Then came the pandemic.
Sara, whose real name is something else, tells DN what isolation and homework can mean to an ordinary family with young children in a small Swedish town.
Came to see her husband early be fired. From time to time it started to change.
– During the spring, our relationship began to turn into something that was not good. He became more unstable and irritated. He lost routines that helped him, such as training and jobs.
– I noticed that he started to become more controlling and abusive. He wanted to watch me in a different way. He was making little inroads. It was mental abuse, but it gradually changed without me giving it much thought.
Photo: Mats Andersson
During the summer, the relationship improved a bit, but quickly got worse again. She sees a connection between that and the fact that she took a part-time job, which for her husband meant more responsibility for the home and children.
– When the summer ended, we were back in a daily life marked by the pandemic, where nothing worked and we were just alone with each other …
– It became a mess when I started working. He ignored getting dressed and taking a shower. Finally, he became aggressive with me and the children. He screamed and said it was so bad, it was so horrible, it was so fucking stupid.
The relationship got worse during the fall. They became physical with each other, and Sara was pushed around by her husband. During a special week, the fight ended.
– In the end, he dropped it out of nowhere in front of the children. He screamed such ugly and horrible things that they were very scared. I took the children and ran. After first calling my friends, I called social services and made a report of concern to the family.
– As a well-educated feminist, where I clearly know what I stand for on issues like this. I don’t feel like it could happen to me.
It is not uncommon for the victim to feel guilty and ashamed after being exposed. Do you feel that way too?
– Yes, the children are scared and sad. And since they saw what was happening, I had to take him to his school and preschool. It became difficult on itself. I can’t say that it didn’t happen.
Sara made it out a degenerate situation before many others and thus prevented serious physical violence. Now they receive help from various units of the municipality’s social services. They separated and Sara’s husband began receiving treatment for his behavior.
– We have been very lucky to receive help very quickly and now we will try to find out how we should feel. But I am afraid and I wonder if it will happen again. If it’s stupid trying to fix a relationship like this.
Read more:
Increase in violence in close relationships in one of every three municipalities during the pandemic
Lindhagen: “I have great concern for women and children”
