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Lena, 79, and Stig Ewaldson, 84, have been married for more than 60 years. They met at a student party when Lena was 18 and Stig was 23.
– It was love at first sight, since then it’s us, says Stig Ewaldson.
But over the past six months, they have only been allowed to meet a few times, at a considerable distance and with a glass plate between them.
This day the government is expected make a new announcement about the restraining order in the nation’s nursing homes. Stig Ewaldson is therefore very nervous when he goes to his wife’s dementia home in Höganäs. A few minutes before Lena enters the room, which has been rebuilt for remote visits, she is told that the restraining order will disappear on October 1.
Stig collapses in his chair and covers his face with his hands. Crying.
When staff in full protective gear carry Lena to the patio door in a wheelchair, he is reunited.
– Honey, I have good news. The next time we meet, we can see each other for real.
Physical visits can sometimes stress Lena, Stig says, from being so close to each other and at the same time not being able to touch.
– The proximity is very poor very. We have been together for so many years and it has been a good marriage. We haven’t been apart for long. And my mind has been unable to accept that we are not allowed to truly meet, says Stig Ewaldson.
The visits are short, since this summer they can be seen every two weeks for fifteen minutes.
– We had a good time, or like Lena, says Stig.
– Yes, we love each other, she answers.
As recently as October last year, they were in the United States visiting their son, who lives there, but since then Lena’s illness has rapidly worsened. At the beginning of the year, she moved to the accommodation, after falling several times in the house and being seriously injured.
– You have to accept the permission with, it only goes in one direction, I realize. She gets more and more tired. And in time, she won’t know who I am. She is not allowed to be in the final stages of Lena’s life … says Stig and remains silent.
Photo: Anders Hansson
He welcomes the government’s message, but criticizes the fact that it has had a restraining order for so long and the damage it has caused. It’s basically a desktop product, says Stig Ewaldson, where they didn’t dare to look at individual circumstances.
– I have been healthy and Lena has been healthy and you miss the closeness very much. I understand that they are afraid of the infection spreading, which is a difficult subject to assess, but they have not considered the psychological aspects. It was all about the numbers, how many cases we have, how many have died. We have not taken into account what the prohibition has achieved in the mental suffering among us more than 70 people, as they call us.
Children get in touch with video calls every day, and Stig tries to move on, meet friends, research local history. But spring and summer have made their mark.
– I have never felt bad in all my life, I am a fairly calm person, but now it has been heavy. It’s heavy.
Time’s up and it’s time to say goodbye. Before leaving, Stig Ewaldson hands her a new letter that he wrote to Lena. There he tells, among other things, how the children feel and what he does during the day.
The letter to his wife concludes:
“I long to hold you.”
