DEAR ABBY: I am a 21 year old woman who is not very happy when it comes to relationships. My first real relationship was not until I was 20, and it did not last too long. I have “talked” to quite a few guys, but they are never past the stage of “getting to know you”.
I was able to figure out things I wanted and did not want in a relationship.
My best friend for the last eight years has always been there to help me through some nice hard times. He has all the qualities I seek in one. He is smart, funny, honest, caring and is literally a male version of me.
When we were younger he told me he had feelings for me but I only saw him as a friend. Everyone would tell us we should be together, but I ignore it. After years of knowing I did not feel the same way, he gave up trying to pursue our friendship to something more. I always told him I did not want to be romantically involved because I valued his friendship too much and I did not want to lose him.
He recently started a relationship with someone, and it made me realize that I had romantic feelings for him that I did not have before. I do not know what to do. Please help.
TO LATE IN TEXAS
DEAR TO LATE: The longer you keep quiet, the greater the chances that your friend’s new relationship can develop into something serious.
Tell him all the qualities you think are special (minus those of your “clone”). Then follow it up with the fact that it wasn’t until he started this new romantic relationship that you realized you had such feelings for him. Better late than never
DEAR ABBY: Last month I found out that a friend of mine was living off his van. I could not do that to him, so I offered my second bedroom and put him on the lease.
He told me that Uber does not pay much, and he could not pay half of the $ 1,700 a month, so we agreed that he would pay what he could, roughly $ 200- $ 300 of the $ 1,700. I said it was OK because I did not take him for money purposes. I did it to help a friend in need, and I had space.
I soon found out he’s a hoarder. His whole bedroom is full of his boxes with stuff (manga, anime, books, etc., not furniture or a TV), so much so that he sleeps on my couch of the living room. He also spends all his time at home and Ubered only the last two days of the month to make the $ 200 to pay me.
I think my question is: our agreement was $ 200- $ 300 a month, which he pays, but does finding out that he only works two days a month to change our agreement?
THROUGH AN ENLARGED PUPPY IN HAWAII
DEAR TOOK: May I point out that when you took this ‘puppy’ in, it was not like he was sleeping on your couch, but in space? He should not use your living room or your couch to sleep.
Because you put this freeloader on lease – for whatever reason, I can not fathom – you may need a lawyer to get him out. Instead of working two days a month to pay that bad amount of hair to you, he would have to drive enough hours to collect a deposit at a place of his own. To say that your kindness has been taken advantage of is an understatement.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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