Suicide Lost Son: – Suicide is unsolved deaths

Anders Lie Brenna is a man of the media and knows how it works. If there has been a death and the police believe it is suicide, then put the cap and pen down. Suicide is the deaths that are not written about, in contrast to deaths caused by traffic, which are mentioned very often in the media, and murders, which receive a lot of coverage, often against wishes. of the victim’s family.

This taboo around suicide, Brenna believes, is a major reason why suicide rates remain high, while deaths from car accidents are declining and homicide rates have always been low. He intends to do something about it, to prevent someone from taking the fatal recourse his son made on August 29 of this year. He turned 19 years old.

– A shock, and it doesn’t work.

– If you think this cannot apply to you, you are wrong. Carl Andreas was a resourceful person. I had friends. He worked with infection control in Vallerhjemmet (life and rehabilitation center in Bærum editor’s note) and spent his free time at Spillhuset in Bærum, among other places. There he helped young people who have challenges with socialization.

– He had his challenges like all other teenagers, but there was nothing to make us believe that he would take his own life. It was a shock and the shock doesn’t go away, says Brenna.

In recent months, he has spent time compiling figures and facts about suicide. Both to understand why his own son took his own life, and to understand more about the action that takes six times more lives than traffic.

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40 percent say nothing

Figures from the National Center for Suicide Research and Prevention show that 674 people committed suicide in 2018. By comparison, 109 people died in traffic accidents in 2019.

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– 40 percent of men who commit suicide have not told anyone they want to do it in advance. This means that for 188 families, this is a shock. Every year, Brenna says, adding:

– Suicide does not take away the pain. You just transfer it to someone else. We are left in bottomless pain.

Need help? You can reach mental health 24 hours a day by phone: 116123

At the same time that Brenna accompanied her son to the grave, the government presented a zero vision for suicide in Norway, in the same way that we have a zero vision for road traffic deaths.

Brenna is sure that vision zero can never be achieved if society doesn’t start talking more about suicide. That we wonder what happened, instead of choosing silence.

– we are on the wrong path

– We are on the wrong path. We are not in the process of solving this problem. It is a deadly mistake not to talk about suicide.

– Society does me and other survivors a disservice by not talking about it, he says.

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He felt the silence when he himself had to find out more about his son’s life to get an answer as to why he took his own life.

– Privacy legislation has no exemption provisions for suicide. My son has privacy even after his death. I understand that, but you also have to understand that the family needs answers, says Brenna.

The article continues below the video showing the evolution of the types of deaths.

If a person is murdered by others, the police put all the resources to find out who did it and why.

If an aircraft goes down, the type of aircraft is grounded at great cost to companies that own such aircraft. Then an accident commission is created to find the cause of the accident.

All fatal road accidents are analyzed by the Norwegian Public Roads Administration to find the cause. The focus on traffic accidents in recent years has led to significant development of both cars and roads.

When someone commits suicide, it is not investigated and the family must search for themselves, within the framework of privacy legislation, to find answers.

Brenna herself has met with great goodwill when he has asked for information and has spoken with people who knew the son. The police and the rest of the emergency services have lined up and assisted in a good way when he has asked, but learning of the suicide is out of his work. He had to do that job himself.

– I have no reason to believe that someone did something wrong with my son, but it was something I had to find out on my own. There was no research that gave an answer to that, he says.

Experts have given you a plausible explanation for why it happened, but research is far from being able to predict what factors lead to suicide.

– Every year, about 50 million are spent on suicide investigation. That is approximately 75,000 crowns per victim. About half of what we used to bury Carl Andreas, he says.

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– You need knowledge, but do not share the blame

Tove Gundersen’s secretary general at the Mental Health Council says investigations into each individual suicide are among the proposals for the government’s action plan for suicide prevention, which was presented on September 10 this year.

“Therefore, a systematic working method is needed in which each suicide is reviewed both within and outside the health and care service, and where all the circumstances related to individual suicide are mapped and analyzed.” it says on the plan (page 9).

– These are measures that we welcome, says Gundersen. She believes that such surveys will provide some answers to the afflicted, while society gains more knowledge for use in prevention. However, you do not believe that these surveys can provide all the answers.

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– All suicides are tragic and survivors seek explanations to reconcile, but we will probably never be able to fully understand it, and that is part of the deep pain after suicide.

She notes that such investigations will certainly not be for the purpose of attributing blame for suicide.

– This is the knowledge we need, but the polls should not distribute blame. The first thing all survivors do is think about what we could have done to prevent it from happening. It is no one’s fault that someone takes their own life. It is important that this dimension emerges. There are many who suffer for life because they never get the peace of their own guilt and shame. Everyone thinks “what could he have done differently,” but it’s not his fault, Gundersen says.

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