– It was me against my traumas – VG

– They were long nights and I was afraid to get up, he says.

The TV show “Kompani Lauritzen” is known for giving participants ups and downs, dominance and collapses as they battle their own mindset.

– For me, “Kompani Lauritzen” was an exposure therapy for a trauma I had had before. It was me against my traumas.

During the day she fought her own psyche and at night she had to wake up other participants to make sure she was safe, she says.

– I could ask if they would take me to the bathroom or if someone could open a window. I didn’t care about the window, but I did care that someone could hear me if something happened. He had to know that he was not alone.

The army is one of the things you fear most in life.

– As a child, they were the ones you trusted and protected you, but after an incident abroad several years later, everything with the military has become a kind of trauma for me.

Al-Hussaini, who is also afraid of the sea, has been praised by his acquaintances for jumping from the ship into the sea in the first episode.

– It seems that I am tough, but the truth is that the commander terrified me, especially when they were together. So it was safer to jump into the water than to be in the boat.

Regretful

What he initially saw as a fun challenge, he knew could be tough mentally.

Two weeks before leaving for the Setnesmoen camp, he regretted saying yes.

Talk about panic attacks and mental exhaustion. At the same time, she was determined to settle for herself.

– Traumas have taken so many years out of my life, and it was time to do something about it. I told myself that I had to sharpen and that I had to go in.

The attacks continued inside the camp, and then he did his best to hide it.

– I did not want those looks, that pity, or someone to help me because he felt sorry for me. If I did it wrong, I did it no matter what was going on in my brain.

– He realized the seriousness

In connection with “Kompani Lauritzen”, the participants have a conversation with a psychologist before the recording. She never said there were things on the tape that could mentally trigger Al-Hussaini.

Therefore, neither TV 2, nor the production nor any of the other participants knew what was happening.

It wasn’t until the day he returned home that he told it out loud.

– I spoke with a production psychologist and I understood the seriousness when I saw the reaction of the psychologist. The feelings I felt were not just feelings of cowardice. It was real and it was very good.

– I didn’t want help

It is important for Al-Hussaini to say that he feels well cared for by TV 2 and the production company, both before, during and after the recording.

– There was always someone who took care of us and you could get psychological help if you wanted. The thing was, he didn’t want help.

TV 2 press manager Jan Petter Dahl says they are happy that Al-Hussaini feels well cared for.

– For us it is very important that the participants of our productions are well cared for both before, during and after the TV recording. In connection with “Kompani Lauritzen”, the participants have a conversation with a psychologist before the recording, on the way if necessary, and are encouraged to use the offer of a follow-up interview after returning home. This offer is also available in the future.

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Will be honest

Al-Hussaini had not initially intended to open up about how he really felt in “Kompani Lauritzen.”

– But I want to be honest and tell my trip. We are all people there, and “Kompani” is completely independent whether you have trauma or not, he says and adds:

– I have read comment fields after Vegard (Harm, journaln.anm.) Had a seizure in the first episode, and some describe it as dramatic and say it is a play. Rather, we should commend him for his vulnerability and honesty. Viewers are lucky to see it. I was not strong enough to be so vulnerable.

He got depressed

Regardless of Al-Hussaini’s performance in the competition, she felt like a winner.

– I was so proud of myself, and I had won over myself and my mindset.

But the allergy was short. A few weeks later he became depressed.

– So I was mentally depressed for a long period. It wasn’t just about “Company” but about everything else that happened in life.

In the New Year, the turning point arrived.

– It’s really a turning point. It was the crown that he needed to understand the value of life.

When she and her family were diagnosed with the coronavirus, Al-Hussaini experienced some of the worst symptoms.

– One night I was sure that I was going to die, and then I thought “if I had died now, I would not have really lived.” I have spent my life in trauma, in being sad and having a good time. I am proud of what I have achieved in life, but although I have done a lot, I have not done it. levd.

He says that he is in a very nice place today.

– What is the difference between how you feel today and how you felt this fall?

– Today I care how everyday life is. Now I want to live and I want to feel that I am alive. And I feel good about myself, that’s the most important thing.

She is prepared for the fact that trauma will always be a part of her.

– But I don’t want it to take up so much space in my life. It’s okay that it exists and sometimes it should be allowed to hurt, but I personally no longer feel sorry for myself.

Although “Kompani Lauritzen” was a difficult experience, she also loved it.

– I am very grateful and glad I did.