Ida (30) was one of the many children who fear Christmas:

In a survey that the Av-og-til organization has done for Vinmonopolet, one in four respondents who have experienced unpleasant episodes of alcohol around children at Christmas.

Ida Braarud Jensen has her own childhood experiences with a family member who drank too much.

– There has been a lot of alcohol, especially during the holidays. This has made me more unsure of where I had adults. It’s not that nice and there’s very little predictability, says Jensen.

– When the alcohol intake is so great, it is usually the Christmas tree that falls, the glasses break or the most is sung. There are many things that make children realize that adults are changing. This leads to increased insecurity for children.

Set deep tracks

The 30-year-old says this was something she also experienced at other times of the year, but that it was more during the holidays. It has made its mark.

– It has affected me enough. This year is the first time that I think Christmas is pleasant. It has been very difficult before. I have felt a lot of discomfort. I work with other people who have had problems with the same education and they tell me the same thing. Many feel that they fear Christmas and that there will be a high intake of alcohol.

Jensen says that what he wanted most was predictability and security.

– They have not seen me, and when I have thought that things have become unpleasant, I have somehow disappeared a little in the alcohol. When alcohol intake is so high, children are often forgotten.

One of some

Av-og-til General Secretary Randi Hagen Eriksrud says Jensen’s story is by no means unique.

– No, it’s not. We know that more than 90,000 children, that is almost one in ten children in Norway, grow up with a mother or father who drinks too much alcohol. Many children say exactly what Ida is saying now.

Eriksrud says that children talk about parents turning off their parents’ radar and not present as they usually are.

– They say it creates an insecurity or fear during the Christmas holidays or other nights when they experience this, says Eriksrud.

The secretary general says that the best advice she can give parents is to have a conscious relationship with the way they drink, and that one should be aware that children experience that we drink long before we create.

– Small changes, like laughing louder, squeezing a little more or something like that, feels uncomfortable for children. So we say that all adults who are going to celebrate with children should ask themselves the question: how many glasses can my child hold? And then they have to drink in moderation around their children, it is their clear encouragement.

– Grab secure adults

Jensen advises children and young people who experience the same things as her to deal with some adults they consider safe.

– Talk to them and tell your experiences, so that adults can also help in those situations where it should be uncomfortable. I think prevention rather than repair when you grow up is very important. We must prevent so that children can have safe Christmas nights and vacations in the future.

Eriksrud says they are concerned that family members will drink closer to the children than they would normally drink on different Christmases in 2020. More people move their drink home when parties cannot be held as usual.

– So we are afraid of vulnerable children, who we know have left behind a very difficult year where they have depended on parents who are not good for them. These free spaces outside the home have been lost.

– We are very concerned about what Ida says, that if you are worried about a child now, in your circle of friends, then do something about it at Christmas. Get in touch with the child, invite him on a sled or a walk in the woods, and try to give the children who you think are not doing well a good Christmas experience, Eriksrud encourages.

Important with open dialog

Jensen’s encouragement to adults is to have an open dialogue with children, and together discover where the line goes. Ask the adults to ask the children how they feel when the adults drink.

Today she has a pretty good relationship with the relative who drank when she was little.

– We have a relatively good relationship, we do. Needless to say, I have also gained confidence in myself. I have set limits myself, considering when it is enough for me. So that’s good, she says.

Jensen is currently working to help other people who experience something similar to what she did.