– I say no a lot – E24

– I say no a lot. I’ve always done that!

Laila Robe Tafari Ludvigsen was just 15 years old when she first set foot in working life. He raised his voice. He demanded as much salary as the others in the clothing store where he worked, where he broke sales record after sales record.

She was the youngest, but one of the best, why wouldn’t they pay her too?

– I didn’t get any more salary. So I said thank you and goodbye and I quit my job, I don’t like being paid badly. I’m worth more, I got it, it was written in black and white on the sales reports.

Laila Robe talks enthusiastically about the gateway to work life.

She has always had a strong sense of justice, both for herself and others, and from the beginning she saw its value in work life. This led her from sales jobs to Oslo and her role as general manager of a hair salon. Since then, she became an area manager at the same network, before learning about the television industry, visiting reality shows, becoming a presenter, owning and operating a restaurant, and starting and running a casting agency.

Now she is sitting in the shade of a cafe in the Botanical Garden in Oslo. Their two-year-old son Jonathan sleeps in the stroller and Laila looks forward to a lunch in peace and quiet.

22 years after he left the clothing store, he is out of the casting agency and is the full-time manager of humor favorite Herman Flesvig in his fourth year. The man who discovered a bit by chance in a casting video is about to take Norway by storm as a comedian and actor.

– I do the same with and for Herman, I say no and put my foot on the ground. I’m worried that we will both do this in ten, twenty years. So we must do it sustainably and make healthy progress plans, he says.

– I know what Herman manages to accomplish in a month or a year, and everything else we say no to. It is very difficult, we lose a lot of fun and a lot of money. It should be a good store, but we shouldn’t do this for the price of it getting tired and out of stock.

Unfulfilled dreams and bad times

Through the years of hiring and casting, and now as a manager, Laila has met thousands of people. He loves people and discovered that he has eyes to see talent in others, potential in people who have not been brought out, dreams that have not been fulfilled.

Along the way, he met many who limited their own opportunities or made decisions based on others than themselves. They lived other people’s dreams at the expense of themselves.

– It is an impatience today that things happen so fast, and you must go up to the starry sky, be someone in the eyes of others. I think many people forget their own joy and passion along the way, and say yes to things along the way that they commit to who they are, she says.

– The same impatience can make you give up too soon, let go of your dreams too soon. Most of us choose something we want to contribute, but for many it takes time to figure out what it is. I’m so lucky that this is what I like and want, and I think it’s important to all of life and how you feel about yourself.

Laila recalls her own work life and sees a twenty-year-old who was looking for, who did not know what she wanted, who needed to spend many years trying different things, meeting different people.

She is happy about it today, while on the journey she acquired a conscious relationship with what is right.

– Professional life is long, I want people to take it into account, he says.

– Being patient is about your own growth. You don’t have to do everything at once, but distribute it. I keep telling him that Herman is going to grow along with what he’s embarking on, and we didn’t have a bad time. I myself am 37 years old and I feel like I have just started. Maybe I’m at the peak of my career in 15 years?

Life balance instead of kite race

Laila gets a lot of feedback from people who appreciate the reminder that it’s okay to shrug, it’s okay to say no. People who thank you for being a clear voice.

Especially many in the television and media industry, creators, actors and freelancers live in temporary jobs, and many fear that opportunities will go away if they do not say yes to everything that comes.

Herman Flesvig receives a weekly salary: – I have no general description of what I earn

– Often, many say yes based on this fear and accept assignments that compromise their own integrity, he says.

– I don’t think you will be successful at anything until you listen to yourself and dare to stop at it. By making decisions based on yourself. You have to trust that something else is coming, and that saying is not about making it clear to yourself and others what you want. Please be patient for your own journey.

Expensive learning

Although demarcation began in your mid-teens and is something you are passionate about now, it has not always been so easy in practice.

Owning and running a restaurant requires his wife, and in 2015, after Laila had worked day and night for several years, he said stop.

Complete stop.

She had said yes even though her instincts said no, and she felt she wanted something more. She was exhausted. Completely discharged, unable to do anything but retire and rest. It took a whole year and after that she changed most things.

– It consumed me too much. The whole of life became too much, I said yes to things that were not right for me because I wanted to fulfill other people’s dreams. Then I couldn’t get out of it.

Laila has stopped chewing. Hands search against arms, it gives chills to think of that moment.

– Now I’m better to control myself, feeling more later. Something happens to your emotions when you are completely exhausted. It’s a delicate balance knowing that you have the capacity for something, but knowing that if you push it, it goes too far. If I feel like I need to rest, I let it decide, even if I have to sacrifice something.

The joy of growing old

Right now the priorities are Jonathan and Herman, plus partner Mats and the two extra 9 and 12 year olds who live in Bergen.

Robe does not have the ambition to be an extra manager.

– I can take advantage of many qualities of myself doing what I do, and it gives me satisfaction. I have had to make decisions in which I have sacrificed a lot, because of course, it is exhausting being available to a person 24 hours a day and being a mother too. But I have chosen to have a child, I am allowed to be a mother. I think it is very exciting to be able to observe and see what lives in it, so it is a very simple priority for me. Life is hectic now, but good. This is exactly how I want it.

Laila Robe laughs, looking at the carriage. See aging as a gift, something to look forward to.

– Over the years comes a greater capacity for perspective, and maturity comes with experience. Those who have experienced more can more easily reflect on others, not judge so quickly, but understand that everyone tries their best. There is something very, very good about growing up and I hope to use more parts of myself. I’m not having a bad time. Herman and I are not having a bad time.

This case is from the first edition of AW Magazine, a new business magazine on entrepreneurship, employment, sustainability, money and gender equality.