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“Unfortunately, it appears to be heading for a miscarriage, or a trisomy 13 or 18. But I probably fear most Down syndrome.”
By: Birgitte Bergerud Larssen
The post was originally published on Facebook.
These were the words the doctor told us after an excruciatingly long ultrasound in which both were not as they should be.
In retrospect, I wish I was about to say courage and say that it wasn’t something I feared and that she imposed biases on me that I didn’t want to have. So it was not on the level. No way.
We were just told that the little life was more likely to occupy our entire lives, if it was a life. And what the doctor says about increasing death and diseases that are incompatible with life, and then saying that, above all, he fears Down syndrome is like saying that having a child with Down syndrome is worse than not having this baby at all. So she strongly recommended abortion.
She said this to us several times, so she finally felt awkward saying it again; “We probably won’t have an abortion.” Then he ended the exchange by saying “you should think about it.” Then he gave us a list of the statistics to get the various trisomies, and they told us to go home and Google Trisomy 13, 18 and 21 (Down syndrome). We did not obtain more information.
Also read: There is a danger that children who are “vulnerable” become impoverished when they are really strong warriors
– sad and angry
I am in disarray now. So much so that I get sad and angry when I think of this exact statement.
So much so that I just can’t let go and share our story these days. Just these days, the Labor Party, the FrP Progress Party and SV (Left Socialist Party) hope to win a majority in parliament that all pregnant women should be offered fetal diagnoses and, in the long term, NIPT tests for everybody. This is a good alternative to amniotic fluid testing (which carries a risk), but it will also allow more people to discover chromosomal abnormalities and abortion opportunities, for example, children with Down syndrome.
I had never imagined that I would be so involved in such a case. Most of the time I have let Humla Suse, happy, be lucky, but because those who adopted this believe that parents who are told that the child may have Down syndrome will have a good follow up from the doctors, enough information to take good decisions and being followed closely, I can’t help but say something.
Because I know very well that this is not the case. I know that the possibility of getting bad or no information is definitely present. I know that the possibility of feeling like a burden on society if you don’t want an abortion is great. And I know that if I hadn’t been so aware, or had such a strong husband and family around me, choosing not to have a child with Down syndrome would have been much easier than choosing to have one. Unfortunately, I don’t think it is a unique case.
Also read: Norway has spent NOK 133 million on a clinic where children receive treatment for Downs: – Spinnvilt
– just a pleasure
For me, having children with Down syndrome so far has been a joy. I know it is not for everyone. I know that there are many who have to get used to thinking, fighting the systems and facilitating their children.
Think about the resources that should now be spent on testing, instead they could have been spent on giving people with Down syndrome (and people with needs in general) a simpler life. More jobs, more sports teams, more resources at school and kindergarten. So I think those who find it difficult to have children in need would have made it much, much easier.
So Ap, FrP and SV. Do not take lightly what you are doing now. Talk to the experts (also known as parents of children with additional needs), bring in some systems that ensure parents like us receive good information, a home visit, and good opportunities to make the right choice for themselves and their families. That it is not based on fear and old prejudices (which abound).
People with Down syndrome live full lives. I know several of them, and I have no confidence in myself for four months, who has the greatest right to live! And never, never, never been outside. Never.
Also read: Dear politicians: wage subsidies can save thousands of Norwegian jobs
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