Book: “Everything That Was Mine”, Cissi Wallin

It all starts in a strange room where Cissi Wallin was one night in early summer 2006. It was a room she shouldn’t have been in. On a bed with a man on top of her.

Fourteen years have passed. Swedish columnist and journalist Cissi Wallin sits at the breakfast table in a hotel in Oslo. The story that began that night in early summer, and that has marked her life, has become the book “All that was mine.” A book that can land the author in jail.

– I take it as it comes, I have to atone, then I do, he says and smiles crookedly.

This weakens trust

Cissi Wallin is one of those who put metoo on the map of Sweden. In 2017, she wrote on her Instagram account: “The powerful journalist who drugged and raped me in 2006 was Fredrik Virtanen.”

Reactions on social networks did not wait. Statements of support were acclaimed, the publication spread, and the Swedish media held out. They identified Virtanen by name and photo. Later, various media outlets were sent to the Swedish PFU to cover the case.

Two stories

Virtanen denied there had been a rape, but had to quit his job as a commentator on Aftonbladet, received hate mail, and was expelled. “I have behaved in a rude way and like an asshole, but I have not drugged or raped anyone,” he said in an interview with Aftonbladet. He also denied raping her when Cissi Wallin went to the police in 2012. The case was dropped due to lack of evidence. Last year, he sued Wallin for defamation. A case Virtanen won in district court in December.

There is nothing dirtier than this

Cissi Wallin was sentenced for aggravated defamation to probation and must pay a fine of SEK 90,000 in restitution.

Wallin has dressed in a shocking pink blouse and bright red lipstick, ready to serve up her whole story. She worries that this is not revenge, but a desire to create a debate about how high the price is for talking about shame, fear, and anxiety, and what it does to you when they don’t believe you.

Found guilty of defamation

-Okay, sometimes I’m bitter, probably all people sometimes. But above all I am happy. I have a good life, a nice family, and that is exactly why I can tell you how such an event has affected my life on all levels, for many years.

Write about displacement. About partying and drinking bad feelings. On daring to open up. And about feeling like a victim and then being branded a perpetrator. No names are mentioned in the book.

Et problem: Wallin is a columnist for Expressen and makes documentaries about the Polish women’s legal system. When you are not writing a book. Photo: Nina Hansen
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Correct the name

-Of course I thought carefully if I should name the man in 2017, and I came to the conclusion that there were no problems. We have a television program in Sweden that shows images of wanted and missing people. People who have committed crimes. Nobody says anything about that. I mean, once you’ve done something wrong, you have to wait for it to bite your tail. You have to put up with that.

She slightly shakes her head.

– We have a big problem in society, and it is that many men do not know or understand where the limits of rape go, or what consent means. Except when straight men come to a gay club, then they know exactly what no means.

The power of the media is also power

It would be just over five years before Cissi Wallin reported the case to the police. When other women now contact her to tell their stories, she often advises them to go to the police. It is important for statistics, but you are also aware that it comes at a price.

– For me it was a relief. Finally, I felt like I was defending myself by telling a police officer everything. That the case was dropped was terrible. So I wanted to die.

Fateful harvest

She sends a quick message to her husband, who tries to reach her on the phone. She is married to Linus Blomberg, together they have children Helmer at five and Einar at two.

– Thank God that children are so young that they do not understand anything. In that sense, it is good that all this is happening now, it would have been more difficult if they were between ten and twelve years old and could read.

A necessary book

– Have you been asked why you did not think about your family situation and your career when you named him?

-Yes, society wants women to take responsibility for men’s actions, but no one asks a man who has raped a woman if he thought about what it would mean for his own family. I call it contempt for women.

Last year, Fredrik Virtanen published the book “Merciless – A Search”, in which he recounted his version of the fateful autumn in which he was hanged, and takes an angry position against the Swedish media.

– I haven’t read it, says Wallin.

– I am not interested in feeling violated, I will not denounce or waste the resources of society. The lawsuit against me cost Swedish taxpayers millions of crowns.

Both Wallin and Virtanen appealed the verdict in which she was convicted of defamation, but due to the crown situation, a new case has not yet been scheduled. Wallin doesn’t think it will arrive until after Christmas.

Force: – All this process has made me strong, says Cissi Wallin. Photo: Nina Hansen
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Can be jailed

Now that he has published a book, he is in his own publisher in Sweden. In June, when the book was ready to go to print, the Swedish publisher withdrew. The script had been sent to a lawyer who thought Wallin risked being jailed if the book was published. They didn’t want to expose her to that and withdrew the deal.

– I have known about that risk from the beginning, but I was already convicted and published the book in my own publishing house. In case I am reported again and I end up with a prison sentence, I will spend a few months in an open institution. There I will probably meet women with exciting stories, and then I can write a new book.

Lost contact with reality

Norwegian publisher Marie Lexow at Memo publishers writes in the preface why they chose to publish the book. They hope that it can contribute to “a closer understanding of the causes and effects of sexual harassment and sexual abuse, and of the mechanisms and power structures that make it happen too often and happen without consequences for the perpetrators, and without the environment reacts against them “.

In Norway, defamation cannot be punished by imprisonment.

Wallin smiles a little, immediately considers moving to Norway, but thinks there is a brotherhood in prison that might be interesting to see.

– In hindsight, do you think the price you paid was too high?

-Yes, I knew it. But then I get a message from a young woman who has experienced something similar, and then I thank myself. So is it worth it. If she can be strong because I have been strong, then she is worth it.