Mariners get 1-hit in 5-0 loss to Colorado, but on the bright side,

I do not remember how old I was when I invented this trick, but at one time or another, at every class birthday party when the cake was cut, because my classmates dressed around a corner piece with roses and ferrets, I would whisper to the person cutting and whispering the cake, tragically like a Victorian heroine, “I’ll take over some piece, I do not like it.” So the fattest, pinkest, frostiest piece of cake would be laid out in front of me, my cartoon character plate shaking under the weight, and off I would swing to enjoy my booty.

It’s a habit I’ve passed on to Mariners’ fandom. Let’s just not perfect, I beg the baseball gods, let’s just not get hit. And usually they can scrape over a run like two, and sometimes it’s enough to win the game, even; and sometimes it’s an explosion of runs, a piece of cake thick as a brick, dripping ice.

Last night, however, last night I would be taken at my word. The Mariners did not get it perfect, and they did not get a hit, but they also did not do much of anything else. Things started stimulatingly enough; Nick Margevicius, locking in the rotation for an injured Kendall Graveman, was more than adequate for just over four innings, mixing his fastball of the 90s with a good curve and an inconsistent slider, moving his pitches across the entire zone and throws strikes: 41 of his 61 pitches, actually. Marge was also good at keeping the ball in the ballpark, although he did get a little help in Kyle Lewis’ first:

Marge was also able to collect three strikeouts in his 3.1 innings of work, one spinning on a high fastball that was slotted at the top of the zone, one on a so-called fastball perfectly painted at the edge of the zone, and one on his curveball:

Marge would leave in the fourth after hitting his pitch limit, and Anthony Misiewicz locked matters behind him but gave up a leadoff double in his next end of the job. He was replaced by Joey Gerber, whose funky delivery did not drive the Rockies crazy at all, because they smoked a bunch of balls from him:

And just like that, it was 4-0. Taylor Guilbeau would allow another run, giving the Rockies more than they needed for a victory.

Because, look, on the other hand, as solid as Margevicius was, Rockies rookie Ryan Castellani was even better. Marge has a nice hook, classic, Zito style, as John Trupin describes it. Castellani has a hell-hook:

Castellani’s favorite pitcher is Max Scherzer, and he Scherzer’d the Mariners over his four innings, while a trio of Rockies relievers cleared behind him. The Rockies wore a combined no-hitter in the sixth, almost the seventh, but at the last minute JP Crawford remembered that he was, in fact, JP Crawford:

It would be the only offensive damage the Mariners have done all night, except in the fifth, when Castellani led the inning by hitting Kyle Seager and giving a walk to Daniel Vogelbach, two on Evan White. set to erase quickly with a double play. Augh, Evan! But also: no strikeouts for Evan tonight, so progress? Also, EW was responsible for the lone real Mariners highlight of the night:

See, maybe you think Evan White’s defense is the smallest piece of cake, all that is asked and deserved. That’s honest. I’d rather keep it than a swipe of frosting stolen, almost covered with a plastic party clip, a little promise of sweetness to come. One highlight is playing the fort hold for more to come. Let’s hope, and if hope is not enough, do something about it.

Tonight, Shed had two of the seven balls in the game over 100 mph EV – 101.9 and 105.7 mph, with nothing to show for it. Sometimes you ask nicely and wait for the universe to hand over your cake, and sometimes you do what it takes to pack it.