You will make fun of her at school. But if that happens, I will be the happiest dad in the world.

My daughter Ugne is five years old today. She is disabled.

Mixed specific developmental disorders are one of the diagnoses. Developmental disorders mean the child is lagging behind, the word “mixed” adds that the delay is noticeable everywhere: in language, movements / motor skills, perception of the environment and others, the ability to learn.

As for concrete examples, if children his age are already reciting poems to Santa Claus, Ugnė, when asked how a cow says, he says “mmmmm” (we still can’t say “mu”, although we learn it practically every days for a good three years).

If his companions are already squatting and somersaulting in the trampoline park, Ugnė still doesn’t know / understand how to jump from the lowest step.

If her friends are already painting eggs, carp snowflakes, and drawing houses, she still doesn’t know how to hold a fork or pencil properly, she doesn’t understand what those scissors are for; very often, like babies, they put these things in their mouths.

If others know that you cannot run to the street because a car can hit you, that you cannot touch the fire because you will burn yourself, Fire does not know what that blow is or what that burn, pain or death is.
If five-year-olds are already willing to learn aerobic movements while dancing with their mothers, Ugnyte manages to repeat only one element of the song “Two Roosters”, like a “baked cloud.” And only if the mood is good. And yes, he still doesn’t understand how to spit out the toothpaste after brushing his teeth, although he does see his parents doing it at least twice a day. She will not tell you what her name is, how old she will be, she will not answer any of your questions, she will not accept the gift you are building. I don’t know yet, I don’t know, I don’t understand …

You will make fun of her at school. But if that happens, I will be the happiest dad in the world. Because it will mean that you attend SCHOOL. He is more likely to have to attend a special school because the delay in relation to other children is too great. But there is no need for a school either, you can already hear the children on the playgrounds saying that “that strange girl just sits and doesn’t skate” and so on.

We are no longer invited to our colleagues’ birthdays and holidays. After all, five-year-olds are already inviting friends, they’re already “making a list” of what they want to see at their celebration, and kids are sincere, they don’t lie, and they won’t “unnecessarily” invite. After all, why invite a girl who doesn’t answer “hello” when you talk to her, who can’t say your name, who her parents give you a gift to, and who sits on the floor in the corner? and look at the wall where the slats turn or just fly by? at a time when all the remaining kids are getting through the most interesting tasks with Spiderman, Batman, Little Red Riding Hood and more.

We notice that we don’t go on vacation ourselves, because the further away, the more uncomfortable it becomes. “But at first glance you will not say that something is wrong”, are the words that accompany me since I was little, when everyone talked so much about Daddy’s beautiful blue eyes, which he did not see. “But at first glance you won’t say,” he continues to accompany me.

No, after reading this text, you won’t have to share it, go somewhere to vote for something and collect “likes”, you won’t even have to transfer money to some support group, as is popular now. However, this text is selfish. This text is my “visit to a psychologist”, this text is a “therapy session”. After all, speaking (in this case, writing publicly) is said to make it easier, and if you know that at least some people will listen (read) to you, your chances of “going to the ceiling” decrease. And it really can go …

Especially since I do not know the answers to many questions, from the simplest to the most important and the most complex. What do doctors say, what do development experts say, what predictions, when will they start talking? These are the most frequently asked questions, the answer to which is one: I don’t know. No, neither the doctors nor the development experts nor Google know it. Maybe it will get better tomorrow, maybe in a month, maybe in a year, maybe after 25, or maybe never. I do not know. The development charts of healthy children are clear: from there they begin to spin, thereafter to crawl, then they stand up, they begin to speak, even later they begin to separate their feelings, and so on. The ranges of the fire evolution table are from tomorrow to never.

I also don’t know the answer to many of your simple questions: what did you want more, a sister or a brother? Were you expecting a sister or did you love her? What toy or outfit is your favorite, what color is the most beautiful, what cartoon hero is your favorite, what do you want to receive as a gift for a birthday or Christmas, or are you waiting for Santa? I don’t know, because frankly, he doesn’t even know who Santa is.

The scariest thing is when you don’t know why she started crying: maybe the shoe is pressing, maybe too hot, maybe too cold, maybe she doesn’t like the sound, the image, or maybe something hurts. what hurts and where it hurts, will not say, will not show. He doesn’t pay, he doesn’t understand. Va then stands helplessly comforted and waiting for it to pass quickly, not knowing what is really happening.

“I am happy because I do not expect anything,” wrote Shakespeare. “It is important to see a miracle in simple things,” he said at the Keistuoliai Theater. “And I’m happy because I see miracles in simple things,” says Plushka. Many know me as an optimistic, happy and positive person. That is what I am. I remember being told in my eyes how hateful optimists are: after all, the world is so terrible, there are so many failures in life, we face so many problems, people around me are disappointed, and here is a kind of smile mocking. beautiful. And I understand it. I understand, but I do not agree. After all, there are so many magical things around! And I am happy to notice them.

And indeed, I am happy to have so many loving and caring relatives. I am happy because I have sincere friends who are always willing to help. I am happy that Ugnė in her kindergarten is surrounded by a team of professional educators who are happy and proud of her. I am happy because he says goodbye with a smile when he goes to kindergarten and greets me with a smile. I am glad to have such understanding neighbors who are not angry and do not complain when Ugnė visits them in the meadow to “chase” the robot that mows the lawn. I’m happy because he gives five on request. I am happy because he eats very well! He’s not fussy, adapts to just about anything and sometimes even Dad. I’m happy because she already knows how to go to the bathroom on her own. All you have to do is download it. I’m happy because she already knows how to take her clothes off! Dressing is difficult, but the time will come when you will learn it, right? I’m happy because he knows how to blow up the biggest soap bubbles! If there was any bubble blowing competition for kids, I would send it to get a medal. I’m happy because he loves music and everything that sounds, sounds! I’m happy because she likes water, swimming, rowing (a real PLIUŠKait,), and when she hears the word “sauna”, she first wears slippers leaning towards her across the meadow. I am happy because she is a very beautiful girl and when she smiles, she smiles around me. I’m happy that she has already started repeating the syllables, not all of them, and sometimes the way she manages, but she repeats! I’m happy because she already knows how to say “mom”, “auntie”, “baby” and she knows who they are. I am happy because every night, after a fairy tale and saying “Good night, I love you”, she hugs and kisses. Be happy too!