The specialist in human behavior asks for an analysis of childhood: parents write a life scenario for their children

However, Ž. Sadauskas did not immediately imagine in which specific field it could be applied. Only after 20 years, when faced with the methodology of special services, the “profile” (a system that allows to determine the character of a person according to their external features – body language, clothing, hairstyle) understood the answer. Today he does not work in special services, but he teaches specialists in face reading methodologies.

Ž. Sadauskas is convinced that every child knows his vocation from the moment he is born, but not all of them allow him to follow his own path from the beginning. “It just came to our attention then. One of the main reasons is probably the lack of a strong self, the influence of parents,” he said.

The interlocutor had to meet girls who chose the profession of accountant, but not because they enjoyed counting, but because their mother said that it guaranteed them safety.

“It is even recommended to wander through life in search of your vocation, because once you find it and have something to compare with, that is really yours,” explained the specialist in human behavior.

Legs, heart or mind?

Speaking of your calling, Ž. Sadauskas said that, like many of us, it consists of several parts: “If we analyze the influence of man through 3 brain centers on our character, where the basic elements are instincts (legs), emotional intelligence (heart) and intellect (mind) my strongest part is the intellect. The heart is in second place and the legs only in third place. “

Following this theory, Ž. Sadauskas knows that it is best to realize oneself through the intellect, at some point to connect the intellect with the heart. It is said that there are endless specialties. If we only take the mind, everything related to analysis, strategy or even scientific activities is adequate. The heart has only two functions: it is creative or empathetic.

“There is a mixed part, as in my case. When I don’t help others, I build. I write books with art installations. “I always joke that if I didn’t do what I do now, I would be an artist,” he said.

Parents write a life script for their children

The main Ž. The leitmotif of Sadauskas’s book “Shadows of Childhood” is clear: all our problems and joys are formed in childhood. And although we are now adults and our childhood seems to be over, we, according to the author, are actually the same children pretending to be adults.

One of the statements in that book says 99.9 percent. of us repeats the scenario seen by our childhood parents. “Yes, cities, names, and achievements are different compared to parents, but when you remove all attributes, you see the essence is the same,” Žydrūnas noted.

According to him, the phrase “I will not be like my parents” in childhood makes you exactly the same. A child who has not received the love of his parents will make up for it by loving his children too much, and thereby hurting them as well. Too much love is a problem. There was no love, problems too.

“The answer lies somewhere in between, but for each of us, that middle point is different. If you are not managing to build a relationship now, answer the question: What kind of relationship did you see as a child? You are not doing well with finances, and what is the financial situation of your parents? Probably they have formed in you that it is difficult to earn money ”, said the specialist.

Not only the character, but also the facial features change

To what extent are the character or facial features of a person determined by the environment around him (without looking back): work, reading books, travel? “If we look at the issue from a physiological perspective, we will have to agree that we have two environments that we can work with. First of all, we cannot change the size of the skeleton and the bones (hard tissues) of the body, ”said a human behavior specialist who simulated the situation.

According to him, this would mean one thing: if the jaw is wide, it will remain that way, the bones will not shrink. The following are soft tissues: leather. “Well, there is already a lot here where we can change. For example, if a person has inherited thick lips, but life forces him to concentrate and concentrate more, the lips are thin and this will already give a completely different reflection of the changed character ”, revealed an unexpected aspect the interviewee.

Well, and traveling, books, meeting people, according to Ž. Sadauskas will certainly not be reflected on your face: “Based on your face, it is possible to tell exactly if you like to travel and what kind of trip you would like, but if you really didn’t have a vacation this summer.”

The field of facial science is a bit intimidating for others, because a specialist can see more than they want to reveal. Ž. Sadauskas admitted to hearing such fears quite often: “So I ask, do you have something to hide? We all have pros and cons. We usually hide the inconveniences, this is our mask. This is how she sees it, but long ago I discarded the thought of the “judge” and I realize that everyone is in their stage, and he has prepared a scenario that will have to be executed “.

A woman with victim syndrome will find the executioner herself

The human behavior specialist is convinced that the woman with the victim scenario installed always finds her executioner herself. “Then he says he is hitting me … It will sound very strange, but the rapper and the percussionist are closely related to each other according to their scenarios”, Žydrūnas does not doubt. “And even if you try to explain and show him how to change the script, the victim usually finds a reason to be unhappy because she’s more confident, she’s used to that character.”

Thus, according to the interlocutor, the victim has no chance of being happy until he changes his script, and in order to change his script, he has to “jump” himself. It’s already painful enough.

The author has published two books, the third has already been written and the writing of the fourth is already moving towards the end. The writer accumulated material for the book “Childhood Shadows” for nine years and spent about three months writing it.

Ž. Sadauskas recommended always remembering that everyone is perfect, just as they are. “It just came to our attention then. Don’t fight your cons. All you have to do is accept them because it is your part. You have come to this world alone and you will come out alone, ”he recalled.

You can break up with the other side, forgive your boss, but the only person you’ll have to be with for life is you.

“You have to have the best possible relationship with this person. This is where love for yourself begins, the main part of which is self-acceptance as you are.” Everything else: insignificant details and temporary episodes of life, why you just don’t it’s worth spending a lot of energy ”, Ž. Sadauskas.

Delfi provides an extract of Ž. Sadauskas books “Shadows of childhood”:

Influence of archetypes in all spheres of life

There are ten main character archetypes: a lazy child, a sad child, a controlling child, a sensitive child, a rebellious child, an aggressive child, a disobedient child, a parent child, a child child, and a prayer child.

Each archetype has a positive and a negative variant, so we have twenty subarchetypes. And below are the sequences of combinations according to the domain of the character. So there are many combinations. For example, the first human archetype is that of an aggressive child and the second that of a lazy child. Determine all spheres of human life.

An aggressive positive will be an entrepreneur and, remembering the archetype of a lazy child, he will organize everything so that the work is minimal. You may like to invest. If the aggressive child archetype is negative, he is more likely to choose activities that involve power structures, aggressive driving, and the like.

The archetype of a lazy child will force you to find a warm place. When choosing the second half, look for girls with more pronounced, weaker or complementary archetypes.

A negative aggressive child archetype will choose a representative of a sensitive child archetype, it is a compensatory or complementary choice. Aggression and dominance would be suppressed by empathy: balance.

Another possible option (already as a weaker variant) are the representatives of the child’s archetype. It will allow her to be childish, creative and careless, as she will take care of and defend everything. A negative variant of this archetype will choose a victim-type representative from the other side. You will be interested in a sad child, unaware of the child’s archetype. It will be despotic, but for representatives of the victim type it will be suitable. The victim is said to find her executioner. Words worthy of gold.

As children, we are eager to grow up and therefore often do not allow ourselves to fully survive our childhood, but as adults we fall into the biggest pitfalls and think that when we close the door of our parents’ house, our problems childhood will stay here, really just beginning.

Trends in search and the character of childhood outcomes will affect our behavior, career choices, relationships, finances, and all other areas of life. The saddest thing is that the aversion or criticized life pattern of our parents will be repeated almost identically and the despotic father you hated will be reborn in you. Yes, it will be your version, perhaps the breadth of your despotism is different, but the essence will be the same. I’m sorry you’re behaving like him, but the more you try to deny it and the more you try to run away, the more your character will take over.

I can tell a hundred stories and it is already “Our Father” … While a person tells his childhood, I can quietly make tea: in the story I see his life, not the life of his parents. Conflict with the father: complications with men, difficult situation with finances, if it is a girl.

If the boy – does not achieve the result, poor or no education. I can go on and on. How to escape and change the situation, read in other chapters of the book.

The essential thing to understand is that you are a more modern replica of your childhood. Life is divided into two stages. In the first stage, experience and knowledge are accumulated and only in the second stage does the giving phase arrive.

Some remain in the harvesting stage for life. I call them childhood victims. Until the collection phase is complete, the donation phase cannot be performed. More on this in other chapters of the book.