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Romanticizing suicide?

The discussion on the social network about the song “Girl”, which is played very often on radio stations, is reaching the academic community.

Aistė Natkevičiūtė, who has volunteered for seven years at the Youth Helpline in the capital, says she recognizes the phrases of this song that sound on the lips of teenagers.

“The suicidal moments identified in this song have already been publicly discussed, but the song is still on the air and continues to play on radio stations. Although a few years ago the composer V. Baumila explained the situation. emotional, and the pain goes away and becomes an experience. I am very disappointed, V. Baumila is a wonderful creator, not only is he a handsome young man, but his songs fall prey to the young. , – assured the coordinator of transnational youth projects.

The specialist assured that during the seven years of volunteering, the adolescents who sought help had to be listened to more than once, and the intentions that sounded on their lips were shocking.

“People who want to commit suicide said the same phrases. This I can confirm from my own experience. Young people said that they are divorced, that they no longer see the meaning of living, that it is difficult for them. They are sure that they will not get up in the morning, for example, they will jump from the ninth floor. Listening to those conversations, I heard that young people have nothing to hang out with, they can’t find anything to help them survive, they no longer see internal resources, a song performed by a well-known performer is horrible to me and can seem very romantic for someone to commit suicide. However, there is a risk that at certain times young people will be guided by this song “, – said A. Natkevičiūtė.

Raises the question of liability

The specialist wondered if developers really do not have to feel responsible for the message they convey to the public.

“Someone is lucky enough to be born into successful families where their experiences are discussed or there are opportunities to go to specialists at certain times. But not everyone is successful in life. Not everyone knows and is able to recognize their feelings. Listen to a song like this it can give rise to various impulses. “I would like the discussion on these topics to spread, but I would like to invite the developers to the discussion and encourage them to cooperate with the psychologists. They must also understand that the generation of influencers can influence certain processes. And it’s not always good, “recalled A. Natkevičiūtė.

The heroine of the song speaks of an unhappy or lost love, sitting on the edge of the balcony stealing lyrics: “From the high house on the ninth floor looking long, remembering happiness.”

“The other hero of the song seems to say that there are so many good things in the world that are worth living for. But the song does not end with a girl going to have coffee with someone who wants to help her and save her. It is sung that” sometimes people find happiness because there is – love ends. “Where does this lead? To the fact that it is neither worth nor impossible to deter a person who has decided to commit suicide?” A. Natkevičiūtė asked.

Responsibility: A. Natkevičiūtė, who volunteered at the Youth Helpline, recognizes the phrases of the V. Baumila song that sound on the lips of adolescents and ensures that performers should choose their works more carefully. / Personal file photo.

The woman assured that she does not raise the issue of the prohibition of the song, encourages a broader discussion that should involve not only professionals but also teachers. They should help young people to move forward with their feelings.

“Parents, parents, loved ones must acknowledge the things that concern them and talk about it with children and adolescents,” urged the woman who is raising the two children.

The impact can be terrible

Arminė Petkutė, a psychologist at the Klaipėda Pedagogical Psychology Service, stated two shocking facts: the age of children with depression is getting younger and more and more adolescents are choosing their way out of life.

The woman has written a research paper in search of answers on how adolescents are exposed to music by various creators or other arts that can promote suicidal tendencies.

“Certain jobs can exacerbate and encourage suicide. The thinking of depressed personalities is completely different from that of healthy people. They feel that this is for the best and that the exit is a normal and structured choice. Adults or healthy people do not. They understand. Young children prone to depression Even I am faced with eight or nine year olds who say they do not want to live any longer, they ask the question: Who was born? When you hear such speeches, you need to talk, you need to analyze what is happening child “, the specialist explained.

Girls are more sensitive

The psychologist dispelled the myth that it is impossible to free children prone to depression from such a state.

“It is possible. It is necessary to work. Even in the worst cases it is possible to help. I had a painful event in my practice when it was not possible to overcome the problems. It is a very shocking experience, but it is worth the effort”, admitted the psychologist.

The specialist assured that scientists have shown a connection that music has a special impact on girls, they are more sensitive and receptive to emotions.

“There was talk of rock or metal, that this style incites suicide. None of that, the style does not change anything, we are talking about lyrics and provoked emotions. If a child is prone to depression, it means neurological things. Suicidal thoughts can come from the child himself. “It is important to distinguish certain things: the romanticization of suicide, the idealization of certain personalities that speak of suicidal moments. It is not a question of creation or art “, explained the psychologist.

The specialist explained openly that the effect of imitation is not caused by those personalities that are actually prone to depression.

“People think that physical pain is very strong. But it is not thought that only psychological pain makes a person’s life unbearable,” said the psychologist.

Dangerous thrill-seeking

Another moment that more and more psychologists talk about is the role of the so-called influencers, opinion makers, influencers in modern society.

“An example is the fate of the artist Kurt Cobain. He is a great performer who has made incredible music, but in no way should a teenager form accents that only by retiring from this life is this artist famous. He is a famous musician famous for his work. Emotionally unstable children find it difficult to find information in their flow, it is difficult for them to understand values, the only way is to observe what music and what books a child reads, and if they notice suspicious thoughts, it is necessary to ask the child why he is listening to that music. “What causes it? Do not scold, punish or preach in any other way, because the child will reprimand that the adult does not understand anything. Medicine is being interested in the emotional world of the child. Children tend to talk, but usually don’t start the conversation first. “

The psychologist also noticed another moment that prevails in the youth of these times.

“If it is not surprising, it does not scare, it does not cause maximum emotions, it is not interesting,” said A. Petkutė.

Lithuanians love sadness

The singer V. Baumila assures that he has already noticed the discussion in the social space.

“What are the absurdities here? Let’s ban books and movies that contain suicide scenes. It is even unpleasant to start a debate because someone can accuse me of being a little pathetic and insensitive. I am in favor of talking about this level of problems, it is necessary to talk from “The Internet has become a medium for social harassment. As a tool to constantly fight someone. I very much hope that this song doesn’t happen, “said V. Baumila.

The artist recalled that the song was written twelve years ago.

“The author of the text is Mindaugas Lapinskis. One has to ask him if he created the text inspired by any of his experiences. Or maybe he applied it to the Lithuanian style? Well, we are not Americans who like fun music. But then we can stick with all the authors who create sad music. “For example, Marijonas Mikutavičius’s song” Bleached Walls “also talks about unrequited love. Perhaps it is better to educate and teach young people to recognize what is direct expression and what is creation “, suggested V. Baumila.

The Internet has become a medium for social bullying.

The interpreter recalled the boiling American debate between gun advocates and their opponents.

“The second amendment to the constitution speaks of the right of all Americans to have a gun. But it is silly to hear that this amendment is equated with promoting massacres in schools. After all, this is absurd,” said Baumila.

There are more cruel things in fairy tales.

The singer encouraged to broaden the discussion and explain the essence and meaning of the work to young people.

“A song is like a tale. Perhaps even a fairy tale. Perhaps there are even more cruel things in our fairy tales than in this song. After all, psychologists do not say that fairy tales romanticize the burning of children in the oven. Such an attack on music and creativity goes back to medieval times. ” .

Baumila was surprised by the online debate because, in her head, no one would think of accusing the well-known Japanese writer Haruki Murakami of committing suicide for the novel Forest of Norway.

“Just as it would not attack the books that write about it, it would not attack the music either. It would be absurd to ban, for example, the 1989 film Society of the Dead Poets, in which Robin Williams, who retired, played one of the roles. main. It’s a movie. ” , – said V. Baumila.

Returning to the lyrics of the song “Girl”, the interpreter assured that with the accusations that the song romanticizes suicidal thoughts, as if to agree, but at the same time to contradict.

“The song says, ‘Stop, wait, there’s so much more to discover.’ The response echoes the heroine’s frustrated response, but there is no action or event that says the heroine is taking her own life in the song. to understand that a person would want to kill himself. Perhaps sitting on the edge of a balcony is just a description of the condition of a person, a drawing of the feelings she experiences “, emphasized V. Baumila.



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