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Growing up in a strange house
“I grew up with my parents until I was ten years old. In the child’s eyes, fortunately what we had. From an adult perspective, that childhood was poor: we often didn’t have to eat normally, we didn’t have to dress, let alone prettier toys.
Our childhood was poor: many times we did not have to eat normally, or dress, much less more beautiful toys.
We rarely saw our parents, they both worked hard. After losing my mother, my brothers and sisters broke up with our guardians. We both ate and dressed in their homes and learned to work on the farm, ”recalls Rasa.
Photo from 123RF.com/ After her mother’s death, Rasa was raised by guardians
Also remembered is the fact that the caregivers lived in a very picturesque rural location, most importantly close to Rasa’s childhood home, so the children in care did not have to change schools. From time to time, the widowed biological father visited them.
“We rarely felt that we were growing up with strangers. We are very grateful to the caregivers for educating us in a fair and orderly manner, helping us finish our studies,” adds Rasa.
The Klaipėda woman believes she discovered her vocation early: working with children. Rasa’s environment also became a litmus test, noting her special ability to communicate with children and encourage her to become a babysitter.
“It seems to me that I have come to this world with an already codified vocation, a mission. Children have always been something like that to me, I love them very much and I quickly feel a special connection with everyone. It seems I can even speak without words, Rasa thinks. “I jokingly say that my seniority began at the age of eight, taking care of a younger brother.”
The desire for a harmonious family.
Early on, Rasa not only discovered her calling, but perfected her life goals. According to Klaipėda, one of the main ones was the creation of a healthy, harmonious and complete family:
“It may have been due to the early death of my mother and the subsequent breakdown of my biological family. What I didn’t have when I was a child, a really loving family, I dreamed of creating an adult. “
After meeting Darius, two years his senior, at a party thrown by friends, Rasa soon realized that the charming tall young man she had met looks at life through the same prism.
The casual acquaintance at the party was replaced by meeting after meeting and the couple’s growing feelings for each other.
“The time has come when I felt that this person is for me. After a year of friendship, Darius stumbled. Usually modestly, but the emotions evoked are priceless. After another year, we bounced off the wedding. They were also modest: the people closest to them, the white dress, the champagne wedding suit, and love in the air.
After another year, we bounced off the wedding. They were also modest: the people closest to them, the white dress, the champagne wedding suit, and love in the air.
While we didn’t have a large property, fancy restaurants, or yachts, the wedding was really nice. It was a fantastic feeling that we officially became a family, ”says Rasa.
Four years waiting for the baptism of a baby
The couple exchanging gold rings settled in their first shared home. Until the idyll, only the baby’s baptism began to be missed, but the couple’s four-year attempts to conceive were unsuccessful.
Photo from 123rf.com / The children’s room in the family home was empty for four years
“We did an investigation that showed that we were fine, but we could not get pregnant. Because I know of examples of how our target families stand out, we behaved the best we could in that situation, we do not blame ourselves, but on the contrary , we support each other a lot.
Sure, there were sadder moments, but we stuck together. I will not hide, we also considered various options for medical procedures, but in the end we decided to leave everything to the will of God and fate. We lived with hope, ”Rasa opens.
At the same time, the close family of Klaipėda residents hinted at the adoption plan. Darius and Rasa also began to feel more and more courageous with this idea.
We behaved in the best way we could in that situation, we do not blame ourselves, but on the contrary, we support each other a lot.
“I would not say that the deliberations were long, they lasted about a week. We decided and went to write an adoption application. We collect the necessary documents related to a person’s health and criminal records, and we take courses for guardians and adoptive parents.
Some say the adoption process is tedious, but we really don’t suffer. We have stayed positive and will repeat this process again if necessary. We were very anxious to have our daughter, ”remembers Rasa.
Photo from 123RF.com / The adoption process took a year
Having survived a childhood that is far from exemplary, Rasa wanted to give her daughter something different. Klaipėda says that due to the size of the dream of becoming a father, there is no room to reflect on genetic diseases or other possible disorders, possibly inherited from biological parents:
“We know who are the children of parents who usually go to these institutions, but we do not get carried away by the idea that something could be wrong. We believed that our child would be beautiful, healthy and, ultimately, would be what fate it would bring us. We think: if there are problems, we will solve them. “
Love for an adopted girl, at first sight
A year after the documents were submitted, a fateful phone call reached Darius and Rasa. The four-month-old girl was waiting for the couple to arrive.
“It was a very strong emotional experience and love at first sight. Until now, I remember Austėja’s big blue eyes looking at me for the first time. I took her in my arms and said, “Hello, daughter.”
I took her in my arms and said, “Hello, daughter.”
Without a doubt, this day was one of the best of our lives; after all, we finally became parents. And Darius in general, from that point on, just adores our daughter. They have a very strong connection, ”says Rasa.
Photo from 123RF.com / Darius and Austėja have a very strong connection
Although Austėja is soon preparing for first grade, her mother Rasa still asks from her surroundings: “Is it possible to love an adopted child as much as yours?” In such cases, the Klaipeda resident says she is a bit disturbed.
“I really don’t understand him as ‘mine’. We look to Austėja for his own sake, not as a substitute for a biological son. Delving into spiritual things, man is not just a piece of meat. If our son had to come to the family in this way, through another woman, that’s how it came ”, emphasizes Rasa.
If our son had to reach the family in this way, through another woman, this is how he came.
The residents of Klaip noda do not hesitate: Austėja’s arrival in the family determined the fact that the young biological son Darius and Rasa, Adam, grows up in him today.
From the clear sky: the pregnancy message
“With the arrival of Austėja, we felt very happy and calm. We felt harmony, there was no emptiness, nothing was missing, says Rasa, who became his mother for the second time last year. – Still, I always felt that the soul “The boy was flying around us with Darius and that one day we would meet. I have a strong intuition, so when my period started to be late, and without the two strips on the pregnancy test, I knew it was already happening.”
Photo from 123RF.com / Last year, Adam was born into a family in Klaipeda.
Together with her parents, her older sister Austėja eagerly awaited the joyous expectation of the baby and Adam’s first movements. The girl who follows her brother’s journey from day one already knows her own story.
“It just came to our knowledge then. She is a very intelligent girl and understands everything. We communicate with her not as a child, but as an adult: we tell what situations are in life, how sometimes different things happen. After everything, she has the right to know her roots, what was her journey to our family.
After all, she has the right to know her roots, what was her journey towards our family. Yes, it was not easy to say, but it was necessary.
Yes, it was not easy to say, but it was necessary. I have no idea how you can live lying to a child forever. By the way, at our initiative, she is already communicating with her biological siblings ”, reveals Rasa.
Advise those on the same test route
The Klaipeda family is a living example of the fact that miracles happen in real life. “Miracles” is what Rasa calls her two children, thanking fate for their generosity daily and reminding Austia and Adam that they have the happiest mother in the world.
We wait for Austėja for her own good, not as a substitute for a biological child.
Sometimes, seeing her children enraged, a woman even doubts whether she is dreaming. It all seems too amazing to be true.
123RF.com nuotr./Šeima
“I would love to inspire couples in the same situation. We were probably helped by mood, harmony and a romantic passing of time for two for pleasure rather than purpose, as is often the case in such situations.
Don’t let this thought overwhelm you so you can get up in the morning and fall asleep at night, Rasa shares. – It is also important not to stagnate: we speak boldly about not being able to have children.
It is better not to leave that question in the dictionaries of those around you, but if you already ask, do not be offended, do not close. Due to our open talk about our situation as a test of destiny, it was calmer and easier for us.
They will sound banal, but don’t give up, you have to believe and dream. After all, we also had such thoughts that we might be left childless, and today we have two of them. “
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