[ad_1]
Alma’s story is extraordinary, but the woman is not at all ashamed. A.Sadauskienė, who has been drowning in drugs for more than two decades, has been completely “clean” for more than five years, but to get there she had to go a long and difficult road.
Now she works in one of the rehab centers and helps people with similar destinies get back on their feet and overcome their addiction.
Alma says she started her family life at a very young age – she was only 17 years old. The first man, like, by the way, Alma’s other associates, was well known in the criminal world. One day the spouse simply disappeared without a trace and never returned home. After the enigmatic husband’s disappearance, Alma learned that he did not shy away from drug intoxication.
Even though I saw people die, that didn’t stop me at all.
Until then, the woman, who did not like them very much, was so overwhelmed with pain that she unknowingly began to plunge into the drug mud, holding two more young children in her arms.
“When my first husband disappeared, I knew that he liked to relieve tension with drugs. I used to think addicts are the shortest people in the world and I never will be. Until I tried. And that’s when my addicts started career“, – recalls A.Sadauskienė.
That “career”, as he puts it, lasted 25 years. According to Alma, as soon as he started taking it, he soon tried everything.
“I was constantly switching from one drug to another blocked. I immediately started with the strongest, but I always thought that I would take care of everything myself ”, sighed the interlocutor.
Besides drugs, Alma had two children in her life, although she admits that the children really cared for her all the time, drugs still hampered her mother’s duties. According to Alma, her drug use was driven by a strong feeling of helplessness, so she wanted to simply run away from herself.
As she recalls, she was dragged to the bottom by the thought that man was no longer among the living.
“I started to think how unhappy I was. After all, the man disappeared without a trace, and then I didn’t even know he had been killed. I became unhappy, here is a flight from reality. I could live like everyone else, but I didn’t, ”says the woman.
I used heroin and poppy, only to turn my head and not see reality.
As the children grew up, Alma’s mother, her grandmother, had to take care of them.
“While the children were little, I put them in cash. All my mother’s work was done by my mother. I felt like I should be a mother, but drugs didn’t allow it. Even though I saw people die, that didn’t stop me at all. I used heroin and poppy, just to turn my head and not see reality, ”Alma recalls.
Soon he married a second time, this time for the prisoner, but fate did not forgive him either.
The prison did not stop
At the age of 42, Alma was imprisoned for the first time. As she recalls, she had never stopped feeling sick before, but in prison, after 20 years of use, she learned what abstinence really means. However, the pause was not long, as drugs also flowed freely in the prison cells.
My children were already adults, says mom, maybe you are already doing something with your life? And what are you doing?
Alma spent four years in prison, getting married there for the third time, but half a year before her release, she decided to ditch the drugs of her life. When she was released, Alma endured drug-free for just a week.
“I didn’t know what to do anymore, I saw that there was no way I could stop myself. My children were already adults, says mom, maybe you are already doing something with your life? And what are you doing? It’s a shame and I wouldn’t use it, but I can’t imagine how to do it ”, recalls the interlocutor.
However, with all her might, Alma finally went to a rehab clinic where she spent 17 months. She says it was extremely difficult to do something at first, but she saw the first healing results a month later. Unfortunately, another challenge arose: while still at large, the woman was once again the center of police attention.
“After a month, I made up and started doing everything I had to do. I went to work, I wrote. But then came the case that I was won. So after rehab I went to Panevėžys sit down that’s your case. Then, an official told me: if you want to start a new life, give away old debts. That’s what I put together and went to pay off those old debts, ”says Alma.
Photo from personal archive / Alma Sadauskienė
Although the idea of prison was not gratifying, A. Sadauskienė continued his rehabilitation. In prison, she began to believe in God, to study the Bible. Alma, who had to spend 3 years in prison for impeccable behavior, was released a year and 8 months later. Also, while still in prison, Alma lost her third husband, who was murdered.
In prison, according to Alma, the true healing process began: the woman began attending rehabilitation groups and became involved in the anonymous drug movement. The desire to change and grow eventually grew until Alma graduated as an addiction consultant.
One official said: if you want to start a new life, give away old debts. That’s when I put things together and went to get rid of those old debts.
The plans were dictated by a fateful meeting
Alma says that after graduation, she became even more interested in the topic of addiction. In one of the meetings she attended, she met a woman who worked with addicts. This acquaintance of Alma was fatal.
“I told him that I would really like to work in a rehab center because I just can’t do anything else. She invited me to come to work, she says: come on, we need people like you. I’ve been working for half a year now, ”says the woman.
Today, 15 people are being treated for drug addiction at the New Life Rehabilitation Center. Alma, who lives with them and helps them recover, only sighs and adds that he constantly sees himself in their rooms. According to her, many times people come to the rehabilitation center without realizing that they have a problem, and even others are taken there even by selfish aspirations.
Still, Alma is convinced that once she crosses the threshold of a rehab clinic, there is no other way than to fundamentally change her life:
“If you don’t change your mind, there will be nothing; you have to give up all your previous life. I changed everything: clothes, hairstyles, not even my friends knew me. I have accepted the fact that if I change, I change everything.
I often see such people piling things in the center and thinking that they will never come back here, but I even know from my own experience that there will be nothing. It takes time to change your mindset. Even though I haven’t used it for a long time, I keep writing a thank you list every day, I do the exact same thing they do. “
“Stay another day, then you can go“
It can be assumed that the most difficult stage for an addicted person is to prepare morally for rehabilitation. However, according to Alma, working with addicted people is not easy either. She recognizes that it is often at the center that people who have had no job, no established sense of responsibility, or other necessary skills throughout their lives are found.
The interviewee adds that rehabilitation is not a nursing home, and the nurse here does not bring cocktails, so the most important thing here is everyone’s work on themselves. However, it is not easy for her to strike the hearts of the wards herself.
Photo from personal archive / Alma Sadauskienė
“It just came to our notice then. I had to work really hard to earn their respect. I can be a mother at one point and a witch at another. It happens that a person comes up with a reason, like reconciling with family members, but then it starts. To recover, those motives change, sober people come and there is a reason to recover completely.
I use the following method: one day stay away, then you will go out. And that “just today” helps a lot. The next day I say the same thing again. The first two weeks are the hardest, whether the person stays or not. Some people begin to feel longer after loving: loving nature, homeland, children.
Usually he uses it to be insensitive. When you stop taking it, all the feelings fall on your head and a person may not even know how to deal with them. The most important thing for such a person is to believe in something. Because if you didn’t expect anything, there would be nothing, ”says Alma.
A sense of responsibility would prevent slipping
Although Alma understands drug addicts more than anyone else, she admits that the hardest thing is hearing the words “I know everything for myself.” According to her, often, after leaving such words, a person who has left the clinic will soon return, but the women in the wards do not dare to condemn.
“All addicts have thought that they would take care of themselves. And so I thought. But this is not the case. Now I am 50 years old and I am only now beginning to live because before I only existed. I could not even cry in my husband’s coffin, I just did not you are welcome.
When someone leaves, I say: if you see that you want to raise that glass, call me, maybe I will save you.
I know why they cry one day, rejoice the next, and carry their bags the third. Because I also experienced that. I love them all. Everyone’s departure is painful for me because I am afraid. It’s a pity that people leave too soon, it’s a pity that they even die if they use it again, ”Alma opens.
According to her, it would be difficult to single out her pupils, so she tries to simply be with them, whom to trust in a moment of weakness.
“When someone leaves, I say: if you see that you want to raise that glass, call me, I may save you. Myself and those men brought so many evils from that criminal world, but I don’t want to be like that,” says the former drug addict.
Alma, who has recovered from drug addiction, admits that now her best medicines are nature, a book, a family and a neighborhood, each of which has become a member of her own family.
When asked if she was afraid to ever slide again, Alma thought that no one was immune to that. However, she does everything she can to ensure that drugs never appear in her life again.
The bad idea, he said, is also helped by the caregiver who helped Alma fight addiction. Still, the woman does not hesitate to accept that it is now that she has really begun to live.
“I always have to remember that I am addicted to how much I have had to experience. And then I realize that I don’t want that kind of life anymore, I don’t want those needles, those prisons. It would be scary and reckless to ruin everything they both claim. I feel responsible for everyone I try to save.
Today I am a sober and free woman, and I can say that now I really live ”, Alma smiles.
[ad_2]
