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– I know your children are already going to school, but how did it go when the three of them were locked up at home?
– Our school has very clearly defined all the guidelines: children have to learn to be independent, to be responsible and mothers do not have to sit next to each other and control which page to open or what to do for homework. As much as possible, I was present, but did not interfere too much with the learning itself.
I myself can’t believe that Tea is finishing fourth grade, Amil is finishing first grade. I feel like such a young mother and the children are so big and independent! I get up in the morning and they get ready, they make breakfast and they pamper my mother. I live it quite well.
– Few would believe it, but you are a strict mother. Certain?
– Yes, I’m strict. It goes and now, before the interview, I managed to adjust the order in the room before going to my daughter’s room. We love children unconditionally, but they need to develop those skills of responsibility. You don’t want to have to teach yourself to live in basic details: after eating, take the plate to the sink, and after the games, fix things.
Maybe I’m wrong and sometimes I’m sexy, but no one taught me how to be a mother, so I have a peculiar understanding of how those children should grow up, educate themselves and that’s what I follow. Since my parents have raised me, I try to raise my children in a similar way.
– Some parents behave against what they were raised, while others follow the principles brought from the family. What choice do you have?
– I can not say that the second option, perhaps a combination. All mothers raise these children according to our opinion and intuition. We often abandon those principles of education that we did not like when we were children when our parents raised them. In addition, life itself has changed, not only the approach to parenting, but also the world has improved.
This psychological analysis of children is now well described: I like to follow the opinion of professionals, so I do not miss articles on child rearing, psychology. Now we delve into children. Remember when we grew up: the key under your neck, go out, come back, bake the egg and wait for the parents. Now times are different and parenting naturally becomes different.
– How has motherhood changed you?
– Changed and with great force – I became more responsible, calmer. That feeling of unconditional love has made me deeper, I have more compassion and understanding, I have changed the subject of values in general.
– What are the principles for raising children? What is important to raise in children?
– Strict guidelines on what I want from them, what I want to cultivate – I do not have and do not even want to imagine, because generally when we create criteria and goals, we try to convey our unfulfilled dreams to children, when we do not, we become disappointed and underestimate ourselves As parents. I think children need to be given freedom and easily directed without feeling like it is happening.
– How many children interact with their father?
– There is a lot of communication, I am very happy about that. At this point, the son for the father, the daughter for me, is the other way around, or both for the father, both for me. Although we live in a neighborhood, we are convinced that children should not be divided into a schedule or separated on weekends. There is a free schedule, and the children themselves are great, they show initiative or desire to go with father or be with mother. We do not limit them in this sense so that they do not feel discomfort. Parents’ disagreements about their children take a back seat.
– How did you explain to the children when you got divorced?
– We talk a lot, but talking is one thing, but setting an example is another. For children, divorce is scary because they do not know what it will be like, their routine changes and their safety zone falters. Naturally, it happens that the child is confused, irritable. We talk with the children that mom and dad will start living apart, but you will have mom and dad, you will have two houses, nothing will change, only the parents will not live together. At first it was difficult to understand, but as I lived I realized that everything was normal and good.
– Is it sometimes fun to have two rooms and a double gift?
– They have fun and sometimes, I admit it, they manipulate. Sometimes we sit with my son preparing lessons, I get angry, I tell him to do my homework now and he says: I’ll call dad. Dad and I agree that homework comes first, so there is no room for manipulation. Together with the children, we learn to solve certain nuances while living in the apartment. I hope so far we are fine, what will happen next, I do not know.
I must admit that the advantage of divorced parents is that both mom and dad can take a break from their children, as this is very important, especially during a pandemic when the children stay with us. Humans get tired too, I get tired too, sometimes I can’t seem to, I no longer have patience, so sometimes I’m very happy when the children are with Dad and I don’t turn my head. Children have a father and mother, I am not one of those who owns and prohibits travel, be. Sometimes I am glad to have time to rest and when they come back I can be a dedicated, tired and not angry mother.
– And what advice would you give to other women who are thinking of divorcing for various reasons but are afraid?
– If the mother is not happy, so are the children. If you feel uncomfortable at home, I think you should not cry and let the children see their mother constantly sad, crying. So it is better to make decisions and live happily. Clearly, women often underestimate ourselves, we start to think about real things.
Psychological things are one, we live with them later, but there are things like finances, work, fear or being able to take them alone, pick them up, keep them, if the income is stable and where we will have to live. These are the essential things that women ask often and that usually stop them.
– Frankly, it was hard to imagine that you would immerse yourself like this in motherhood!
– When I started waiting for Tea, I stopped my career on stage maybe in the third month of my pregnancy. After giving birth to my daughter, I said that I would not go on stage again because I wanted to raise children. I wanted to be the best mom my kids could be. I never bought purees or porridges; I always did everything myself: steamed, rubbed vegetables. I’m so glad I didn’t lose any of them. moment of life – that the first step, the first tooth. That is very important to me: children grow very fast and not seeing their baby develop would have been sad.
– What will your summer be?
– We plan to return to work and concerts as soon as possible. In summer we are planning many concerts, parties, weddings, baptisms … We gather all our strength, we are waiting.
We have a tradition with our children of going on a trip to a foreign country every year: we fly, we rent a car, and we travel. Last year failed, I hope they succeed.
