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What is the habit? Incredibly simple: love yourself. But how can this change lives? Does it really work? In this book lies the secret of a happy and simple life, which is told in a clear, understandable and concise way by a man who has experienced the greatest decline in life and has been able to get out of it.
This is a very personal story for people haunted by doubt. This book is a guide to self-love as a step by step to love yourself.
The book’s author meditated with monks in the Himalayas, served as an infantry in the U.S. Army, is the founder of several companies, and owns a venture capital firm in Silicon Valley.
A serious illness, the bankruptcy of the company, the death of a dear friend: all these blows threw him into the well. But once, unable to bear the sadness, K. Ravikantas made that promise to himself. Everything has changed since then. He began to feel better, both physically and emotionally.
It was impossible to believe that life had improved on its own, but after a month, well-being and the situation changed dramatically. It happened only because of that promise and the will to fulfill it.
We share some of the advice of the book’s author. “Love yourself as if your life depended on it” (“Tyto alba”, translated into Lithuanian by Darius Grėbliūnas).
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I started my career in clinical research. As soon as I graduated from college, I collected data from ambulance departments in hopes that such work experience will pave the way for me to medical school.
As in life, I loved writing. Later, I was interested in new companies, and the medical school “swam.” However, the experience gained in this area has left its mark. It even laid the foundation for this practice.
Having made a promise to love myself, I had no idea what to do to truly love myself. Well, probably none of us was teaching that, right? So I just tried everything in one row. But whatever he just shot in the head. Even if it seemed stupid or too simple.
In short, I did several tests in my mind.
This is how I realized that exercise was right for me: I was able to pull my mind away from the suffering I was going through. When I was lucky, I didn’t refuse to practice, on the contrary, I did it even more often. Finally I perfected four exercises:
1. A loop of thought.
2. Meditation.
3. Mirror.
4. A question.
The advantage of this cultured habit is simplicity and easy application in practice, and the results are unimaginable.
A loop of thought
The thought loop is one of the simplest exercises. Just repeat the words “I love myself” as soon as you find the time. Out loud or in your thoughts as you see fit. Just so much.
By repeating them, you direct your thoughts to one of the specific habits. You pull out the cloth and start cleaning the window. The light begins to penetrate inward. Always.
By twisting loops of thoughts like a vinyl record in our heads, we evoke certain feelings. In the long run, everything happens automatically, as if it couldn’t be any other way. But the truth is quite different.
Believe it or not, focus only on love yourself. Embody it.
Imagine that a cycle of thought is just a path that has been lost for a long time. For a long time, a groove was drilled in the stone. It will take time, strength, and here we have the river.
Once you think about it, nothing will change. Repeat over and over again, especially with emotions and feelings, only then will the river of your thoughts leave a mark in the long run. Repeat again. Believe it or not, focus only on love yourself. Embody it.
Your goal is to experience a much stronger feeling than other feelings that have been ingrained in your subconscious for a long time and to evoke negative feelings. It also took time for them to appear. We have been experiencing some of them since childhood.
This is what will help you to be consistent:
Wake. Breathe slowly and deeply and say “I love myself” in your mind or out loud. Imagine a ray of light that shines directly on your head and spreads throughout your body. That’s all you need. You will feel that you love yourself. Then exhale.
Repeat ten times. A great way to start the day.
During the day. As soon as you notice that you have lost your thoughts in the dark, you are angry, offended, feel pain, fear, etc. t. – Take out the cloth and start cleaning the window.
Don’t be afraid to change your mind. As soon as you notice that your thoughts start to get stuck in a circle of negative thoughts, change them to something other than self-love. And so all day. Change. Change. Change.
Inhale and exhale ten times each time you change your mind. When you’re in trouble or feeling tense, a short stop is extremely important and really helps. Exercise will also help us realize that nothing less than ourselves is responsible not only for our own miserable condition but also for our healing. And when we want it depends only on ourselves.
Remember that every time you get lost in your thoughts, you need to go back to new habits. Perhaps all this seems like a scourge at first, but then it will happen on its own. Your efforts will no longer be necessary.
Photo from 123RF.com / Breathing Practice
Go to sleep. Repeat the same thing you repeated when you woke up. Just don’t stop this time. Repeat the exercise until you fall asleep.
As usual, your thoughts will gradually fade away, but as soon as you notice it, focus them again. This time of day is especially good. When you fall asleep, you fill your subconscious with love for yourself.
Great way to end the day.
Question
It is not so difficult to put something in your head and let your thoughts take you. Everything happens automatically, so we usually don’t even think about it for a short time. The truth is, most thought loops are unnecessary for us. Worse yet, they undermine our self-esteem, they cross the road between us and love.
By asking and answering questions, we encourage ourselves to take the initiative more often. So slowly we begin to change.
That’s why the right question at the time is great: it helps direct thoughts. Autopilot mode is disabled. After answering the question, we must consciously make a decision. And when we make a decision, we take action that concerns us as well as the outside world.
By asking and answering questions, we encourage ourselves to take the initiative more often. So slowly we begin to change. Here are some questions I ask myself:
If you loved me sincerely and strongly, would you allow me to experience it all?
The word “if” casts aside any argument created in the mind. Even when I feel scared and don’t feel a drop of love for myself, the word “yes” changes everything. This question is best done when communicating with others. The behavior of others is not important to me: I am responsible for how I feel. Always. So I ask myself a question to get rid of destructive thoughts.
Photo from 123RF.com/Young
What would you do if you loved me honestly and strongly?
This question is great when it comes to making important life decisions. It only points me forward and does not allow me to back off. Whatever happens, no matter what mistakes you make, this question is pointing me in the right direction.
If you ever feel helpless or upset, ask yourself this question. It will help you make the right decision and take action.
Where am I, light or dark?
I ask myself this question when I feel lost in my mind.
If you think you are “in the light”, great. Enjoy your clear thoughts. By the way, the more you love yourself, the more often you will feel in the light.
If you feel fear, anger, resentment, if you think you are behaving inappropriately, you are in the dark. It will not be possible to fight it or to drive it away. You will only plunge into darkness even further. This will only take you away from the present.
Therefore, I take proven practices. I take out a cloth and wipe the window. I do ten inspirational exercises for myself. Sometimes that is enough to get you out of the dark. Sometimes they need a lot more, depending on how much you can think of. However, this method is effective.
The more you love yourself, the more often you will feel in the light.
You may be tempted to ask all three questions, but I advise you not to. If you are still not used to asking questions and answering them in an instant, there are many possible answers to make your mind hesitate. This will only give enough time for the old thought loops to go unnoticed.
The question is another light switch. You just have to develop the habit of clicking on it. Once you have formed a habit, you will answer the question without hesitation and only after answering it will you move on to other questions.
Start with this: “What would you do if you loved me honestly and strongly?”
It is easy to remember and can be adapted to almost any thought or situation. It will only be enough to significantly improve your quality of life.
Here’s how to establish this habit:
Choose something that is important to you. It can be a relationship, your health, a personal or commercial aspiration. So ask yourself this question.
For example, if it relates to your health, ask yourself before you start eating, “What would you do if you wanted me honestly and strongly?” The answer will help you get rid of old habits, make a decision, and act. As soon as you get used to it, ask this question when it comes to other areas of your life. Questions more than anything else help you maneuver between things that are useless to you. Both in thought and in life.
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