Suggested way for everyone to be different – this is especially helpful during quarantine

Already after the first quarantine last year, a greater number of divorces were registered. Although most of the problems in those families were already entrenched, forced home foreclosure is likely to exacerbate them.

Not just talking, but listening

Psychologist Arnoldas Jasiūnas says that the need to lock up at home has worsened the psychological condition of people in general, according to a press release. There may be friction between the family, a change in attitude towards the other, suddenly feeling that “this person is not what I knew before.” This is not necessarily the case, but an unusual situation also triggers our unusual reactions.

Those who, instead of solving problems in the family, chose to distance themselves, meet friends, retire, go shopping, go to a cafe or a sports club, lost it during the quarantine. So naturally the situation in some families has become awkward and we still lack the skills to deal with emotions and anger.

It can be especially difficult for men who are generally less likely to open up, speak up, or seek help. During this period, the psychologist advises not only to talk more to each other, but most importantly – to listen to each other. And it is possible that a new quality of your relationship will emerge during this chaos.

Surviving together easier?

If divorce has become a reality to learn to live with, A. Jasiūnas urges you not to be left alone with your pain. The psychologist who leads the exit group “Divorce Crisis” says that if a person closes himself in the feelings caused by the divorce, the pain can plague him for many years.

“This is an inexperienced experience that needs to be released, in whatever form it may appear: shame, anger, nausea, contempt,” says A. Jasiūnas.

The psychologist says that in group counseling, people going through a divorce crisis understand that they are not alone. Although each member of the group, such as the context or stage of their divorce, is different, they are all united by the same mixed feelings. It makes it easy to identify, recognize and dare to share them.

Currently, A. Jasiūnas conducts group sessions for people who are divorcing remotely.

“It may be easier for me, as a specialist, to see and feel everyone in live meetings, but distance has its advantages: people open more easily when they are physically safe in the home environment,” says the psychologist .

Close help

For many years, the Center for Family and Personal Self-Development “Bendrakjetusiai” has been providing comprehensive assistance to people in divorce (adults and children) and other people affected by this experience, involved in post-intervention family crisis, personal self-development.

A new Divorce Crisis Group is currently being created, effective May 18. This is a closed group that can accommodate up to 10 people. Classes will be held remotely, a psychologist and a pastor will work.

Each registrant is given a first personal interview, during which managers become familiar with the situation of a particular person and report on the progress of the sessions. Sometimes it turns out that this type of group work is not suitable for one person, so specialists recommend where to seek other help.

If you want to tell your story or ask a question about a relationship, write to [email protected] or [email protected] – The editor will try to find a psychologist or other specialist who can comment on your situation and your anonymity will be preserved.