Rima went to Israel guided by love: she told about the local way of life, local women, and what Lithuanians could learn from them.

– Tell us about yourself: what are you doing, how did you find yourself in Israel, how long have you been living there?

– I have lived in Israel since 2004. In Lithuania, I met a future Israeli husband: he and his mother, brother and sister settled on my parents’ rural tourism farm near Trakai. You can say that I met him at home. We have been married for 12 years and together we have 3 children: Eden is 16 years old, Jarden is 12 years old and Noah is 8 years old. We broke up almost 5 years ago. The divorces themselves were quick enough and noiseless, but they were followed by a very difficult and conflictual period that continues to this day.

According to the procedure in force in Israel, most children live under the care of their parents, that is, they return to the next parent every day after school. The situation seems difficult for the child, but it is a much better solution than when the child lives with only one parent, usually the mother, and the other, usually the father, only sees and communicates every other weekend. Our children also change houses every day, and if there is no school that day, at 5 pm at night they go to another parent. We live a few hundred meters apart so the children can move around on their own.

I came to Israel at the young age of only twenty. I had agreed with my parents that I would continue my academic studies in Israel, which I left in Lithuania. I graduated from one of the Moscow universities, which at that time had a branch in Tel Aviv, and obtained a degree in business administration. Already in the first year I started working in the field as a waitress, studying Hebrew together. 2008 I got a job with an Israeli airline in the ordering department, from where I was transferred to the information technology department, where I began to occupy a software quality control (QA) position. Eleven years there, I continued my career in another Israeli tourism and aviation company, and since the beginning of March I started a new stage in a high-tech company. In addition to regular office work, I am also a Hebrew-Lithuanian translator serving Israelis of Lithuanian descent to regain citizenship of the Republic of Lithuania. I am one of the founders of the Lithuanian community, former president and current council member.

– What surprised you the most at first?

– I fell in love with Israel from the first moment. I absolutely enjoyed everything here, the weather, the food, the people. And it was the people who were struck by his openness, willingness to communicate, and kindness.

– Tell us about the people there, is it easy to find common ground with them, make friends?

– It can be said that there are two groups of people in Israel: locals who were born in Israel and those who, like me, have come to live permanently. They are different people, but very quickly, the newcomers become the same as the locals.

It is very easy to find a common language with the locals. They will only hear that who I speak Lithuanian to, they will always ask what they speak, and then they will try to appear competent and say that Vilnius is Latvia and Riga is Lithuania. And there will be those who say that it also has Lithuanian roots.

People are willing to communicate, they are curious, they ask questions, next time even very personal questions like how, what is your salary or how much do you pay for an apartment, etc. They often offer their opinion, even when you don’t ask … But at the same time people are very helpful, benevolent, cheerful and in a good mood.

– Do women form communities, groups?

– Yes, there is no shortage of groups of women in various spheres of life, be they social networks and real communication groups, sports, politics, etc. The trips of women – friends abroad, the calls – girls – are very popular.

– Maybe you have some characteristic traditions that are only between women?

– Yes, this is the bread-weaving ceremony on Saturday. Tradition travels from generation to generation, each hostess has her own recipe. A tradition with a religious background has become a beautiful tradition for the women of the family. When preparing the dough, prayers are said, part of the dough is sacrificed to God.
I bake this bread on Fridays without ceremony, but with the children when they each make their own braid.

– What are Israeli women like? How are they different from Lithuanians?

– As in Lithuania, there are different types of women in Israel. Some more loving, others careless. Then the question arises as to why he took to the streets like this. Most women are “voting”, speaking out when needed, demanding their rights, and often think they are right. In Lithuania, women are more humble and calm.

– What traditions should Israeli women follow? How important are traditions in general?

– As you know, Israeli society is divided into several large groups: Orthodox Jews, Jewish Jews, secular Jews, as well as Arabs, Druze and others belonging to national minorities. Each group has its own traditions to follow. I don’t know much about Arab and Druze traditions, but Jewish women have clear traditions and rites that they either follow very strictly or they don’t follow at all. As an example, a woman visits a special freshwater pool (mikvah) once a month, one week after her menstruation. This makes the woman “clean” and allows the man. This tradition is still practiced by most Israelis.

– What can we learn from them?

– Israeli women are extremely loving mothers. They are condescending, for them their son is the best and the fairest, infallible. I have repeatedly seen situations where it seemed to me, as a Lithuanian, that a mother should discipline her child, but neither she nor other women around her had that idea.

Pampering children here is one of the ways of raising children and I think Lithuanian women could learn from it.

One more moment: Israeli women love to praise themselves, their clothes, their hairdos, and everything else. Provides an always good environment. Don’t feel jealous and competitive.

– What are the responsibilities of women in the family? Is work in this area significantly divided or does it all fall on the shoulders of one woman?

– Again, it depends on the group of people a woman belongs to. There are a variety of families of non-religious women, both with widely distributed jobs and in which a man assumes a lot of responsibility, and in those in which all houses, children and jobs fall on the shoulders of the woman. In Orthodox families, a man studies the Torah and women give birth to a child each year and also work to support the family.

– How much attention do local women pay to education? How important is that? What specialties do you choose?

– Education is very important in all groups, most of them graduated from high school, continue their academic studies in all fields of science. 2018 71 percent graduated from high school. women, 2018-2019 316 thousand were registered in Israel. students, 60 percent of them. made up of women.

– Is discrimination against women a big problem there? Are there cases in which women do not hold certain positions just because they are a woman?

– Israel is one of the first countries in the world where a woman has served as Prime Minister. Women are present in all managerial positions in public and private organizations. According to 2019 statistics, 30.3 percent. women held managerial positions and 35 percent. women held high-tech (HiTech) positions. Israeli law prohibits discrimination on the grounds of gender in employment and pay, but statistics show that women’s wages are about 30 percent lower, but the unemployment rate is almost the same as men’s. . There is constant talk of discrimination because of the positions they hold, but at the same time we are seeing a steady increase in the number of women in public and military positions.

1998 The Women’s Empowerment Service was established in 2006 as a government body within the Ministry of Social Equality that promotes policies on the status of women in Israel.

According to 2018 statistics, 88 percent. women are happy with their lives, 90 percent. working women are satisfied with their work, but only 58 percent. women are happy with their salary.

– What is the concept of family? When it is created, how many children do you usually have?

– This again depends on the group to which the woman belongs, but the average age of a woman in the first child is 27.7. A lay woman who graduated from high school at the age of 18, begins serving in the Israeli army for about 2 years. Later trips, jobs; about 22-25 years of initial academic studies. Around the age of 30 they marry and give birth to an average of 3-4 children. Maternity leave lasts only three months when traveling to give birth directly from work. The workplace is legally protected by the workplace for an additional three months. Three-month-old babies travel to kindergarten or babysitting, and mothers travel to work.

Orthodox women marry around the age of 18, give birth to children with an average family of 8 to 10 children, and at the same time study and work. Entering the job market is only to support a family, rarely what a career does. It is important to mention that parents often schedule Orthodox marriages when the newlyweds meet a few times before the wedding. And Druze women rarely go out into the broad world of science, marry early, and also give birth to many children.

– What did you take yourself from the locals? How has your own perspective on life changed?

– It is difficult to say what I assumed and with whom I grew up. I just enjoy life and the benefits it offers. I am glad that we are healthy, we have hands, feet, head, everything else we will achieve, we will win. And above all, the attitude towards children has changed: I have no doubt that everyone will achieve something, discover their way of life and their goals. I am proud of my children, of their strengths, I see their difficulties and I will support them in all the twists and turns of life.