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Young people no longer know how to be men and women
According to the interlocutor, the popularity of women’s and men’s seminars is mainly due to the fact that in the search for equal rights we have lost awareness of what true femininity and true masculinity are. As women are by nature more sensual, more emotionally literate, they are quicker to seek their own nature. That is why so many different teachings have emerged on how to discover, awaken and nurture that inner nature.
“These questions arise because there is a clear choice of roles between the sexes. For example, in the time of our grandmothers, it was clear that a woman works in the fields or in pots, does the work of other women: knitting, babysitting, etc. And man goes through the forest, builds a house, does more physical work. So everything was very clear.
Now both women and men can do any job, participate in any professional activity. Even the physical requirements for men and women are the same.
However, our male and female identities are related to the roles that we play.
However, our male and female identities are related to the roles that we play. By the way, it manifests itself naturally in young children. For example, children often choose more active games: running, racing, racing, jumping. Naturally, girls, although no one taught them, will choose more passive activities related to social contacts: they will do something with other girls, they will play with the family, they will make a doll, etc.
Clearly, we are talking about a general trend. This is not to say that if a girl plays with cars or runs with boys, she is not a girl. On the other hand, these roles are learned by looking at mom and dad, and now children spend very little time with their parents, seeing them more frequently on the computer than at home, ”said the psychologist.
When boys get young, boys are even more attracted to girls because they want compensation, a counterweight to their masculine energy. Girls want masculine boys too. However, neither of them knows how to be like that, which is why the following phrases appear: “there are no real men” or “women have become completely masculine.”
“And where to pay them if they haven’t seen it in their family? Even in the Soviet system, women were more masculine than feminine, they tried to be dominant, active. However, it is important that all women form a satisfying partnership.
A man can get satisfaction from realizing himself in professional activities, sports, hobbies, and a woman is still more family oriented, wants children, so she is looking for ways to awaken her femininity. True, again, it cannot be summed up. It is also the case that a woman does not want to have children, follows a career and is persuaded by a man, ”said R. Bačiulytė.
Photo by Lukas Balandus / 15min / Rūta Bačiulytė
It is necessary to accept your limitations
According to the psychologist, it is very important to distinguish between gender rights and gender-related identity. The rights of men and women are equal because we are all human beings and as human beings we are equally valuable. But our possibilities, physical and physiological characteristics are different. And if we do not take them into account, we can go to extremes where a woman becomes more muscular than a man and a man becomes fragile and more vulnerable than a woman.
According to the psychologist, it is very important to distinguish between gender rights and gender-related identity.
“Such extremes arise from the fact that we, in the pursuit of equal rights, which is absolutely correct, because as human beings, men and women are equally valuable, we forget about our nature: anatomy, physiology, etc. Let’s start with the fact that a man cannot give birth, he does not have the necessary organ. And statistically, the muscular strength of a woman will definitely be less than that of a man, as it is determined physiologically. Finally, women and men produce completely different hormones, which is why babies of different sexes are still born.
Today, rationality, intelligence, intelligence have become very important. We try to think of everything and reject the natural, innate, even, I would say biological, aspects of the body’s natural needs.
For example, girls with anorexia, although they do not deliberately fail to do so, seem to destroy femininity within themselves: menstruation disappears, their bodies get stuck at a child level, not a girl, not a boy, not a woman, not a a man. So either we want to control carnal things very well or we ignore them completely. We imagine that we can mold ourselves, mold ourselves like clay. This is not the case. There are certain physiological restrictions that must be accepted ”, explained the interlocutor.
We imagine that we can mold ourselves, mold ourselves like clay. This is not the case. There are certain physiological limitations that must be accepted.
There is also sexuality associated with femininity and masculinity, which also manifests itself differently. Naturally, the sensory part of a woman should be somewhat aroused by masculine energy, so if a woman is quick to demand sex from a man, it is unlikely to be a good manifestation of femininity. But, according to R.Bačiulytė, it is possible that in the couple relationship, a woman is actually more active, energetically stronger than a man, and a man is calmer, more gentle. If that applies to both of you, you accept it as your individual difference, why not?
Photo from Shutterstock / Housewife
Back to the pots?
According to the psychologist, when the connection with one’s own nature is lost, there is a feeling of alienation from oneself.
“When I don’t feel at home, I feel insecure and strange everywhere, which means: restless, distrustful of myself and others, accepting life as a threat. It can end in depression, in the desire to hurt yourself or, as a last resort, to withdraw from life.
In simpler cases, there is simply dissatisfaction with life, a person feels passive, it is difficult for him to make contact with both his own and with people of the opposite sex. The internal quality of life suffers. Sometimes, in search of compensation, you rush professionally into a professional career, you can even achieve a lot in it, but emotionally you still feel inadequate.
On the contrary, when I feel good, I accept my nature, I know myself, I know how I react to one situation or another, confidence in myself arises. And confident people adapt better, make connections more easily, feel better about other people, are not suspicious or demanding of other people. This means that they will always build a friendlier and more benevolent relationship, and others will want to be and cooperate with them. After all, we are always attracted to optimistic people who are satisfied with life, ”said R. Bačiulytė.
Does that mean that a woman has to go back to the pots to feel good? Not necessarily, assures the interlocutor. According to her, this issue is a nuisance for many women because functionality is confused with identity.
To express your own femininity, it is not necessary to go back to the stereotypical roles that existed 100 or 200 years ago.
“Let’s face it: life’s circumstances are changing and nowadays there is no need for anyone to stay by the pots if they don’t like it. Especially since food can be ordered at home. On the other hand, there are women and men who have fun producing. After all, sexuality is only one part of a person’s identity. And it manifests itself individually: each woman feels, experiences and understands her femininity a little differently. It should be understood that to express her own femininity, it is not necessary to go back to the stereotypical roles that existed 100 or 200 years ago.
Vida Press nuotr./Pora
The path to femininity and masculinity extends through self-acceptance and cognition as a person. Due to the pace of life today, we have become a machine, a performer of functions. We need to be good managers, good financiers, etc.
However, by focusing on functions, we lose contact with ourselves as a person, which is sad, creates a feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction, emotionally and physically exhausting because it is a consumerist relationship and sometimes even violent with ourselves.
Because if I don’t meet the demands of the consumer society, I have to go back to work, put myself in Procrust’s bed, cut off my legs, my head, or whatever else to do. Those women who go to the women’s camps just want to be with themselves, take a break from self-rape, “said the psychologist.
There are also more and more camps for men, where they seek their masculine character, allow themselves to be among men, to observe how other men behave and feel. The interlocutors think that it is a very nice trend.
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